Gerald D'Cunha

  “On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own buttocks.” Michel de Montaigne   A ttentive listening has another name: Humility. Putting it in another way, we cannot pay complete attention, unless we listen with a desire to learn… and, for that, we need to drop our guards, our defenses, our judgements. In fact, the thought, that ‘We know’ blocks us from absorbing the good lessons from others… Often, we listen with an intention to defend our positions… We are ready with our responses even before the other person has completed his statements… We are busy judging the other person… We are busy proving our knowledge… We seem to get a strange kick in being right… “I will not utter a word unless you look up and listen to me completely,” I said, once again, this morning, to couple of my students, “Your eyes listen better than your ears do.” From my decades of teaching experience, I have realized this: Attentive listening stems from our desire to le...

  “Everybody is talented; \because, everybody who is human has something to express.” Brenda Ueland   T he quote above makes me reflect… “Everybody who is human has something to express.” Hence, it says, “Everybody is talented.” Now, is that really true? To think, that God hasn’t created any human without this incessant desire to ‘express is what ‘belief’ is all about… Yes, there is something special preloaded when God sends us into the world. He knows about it; but, very often, we don’t. And, to me, waking up to our special gifts preloaded by God – is our enlightenment… I did not know, that my special gift from God was to teach and write. But, I remember how restless I was to express myself in some form or the other. When I was a little boy, I found great joy in drawing and colouring… I remember spending hours trying to express something through this medium. But, soon, it died down… Sports, dancing, singing, acting – I never came anywhere close to these form...

  “We must learn to live together as brothers, or perish together as fools.” Martin Luther King Jr.   W e cannot be aware of everything and everyone around us… Some things and some people – yes, we, always, can. Like, if I told you about the language and culture I grew up with, the food habits, the worship and customs I was accustomed to, the local music that I adored – yes, you may not be aware of any of these. Likewise, I may not be aware of yours. So, in a way, our respective exposure will, always, be limited… Even with all the social media explosion on our faces every second of the day, and even if you and I do a hundred round trips around the globe, let me tell you this: we wouldn’t be able to know it all… Every corner of our own country is blessed with its own music, culture, cuisine, clothes, language, worship and unique tradition and custom. And, to say, that my country should have a single language, single deity, single food and attire – come on, it’s beyond...

  “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” Virginia Woolf   Y esterday was a Sunday. The night before, my wife and I decided to go out (on Sunday) and watch a good movie at a fine theatre, after that eat some delicious food somewhere, and simply spend some good time together… Importantly, together with our young son. We both knew, that we were able to make the most of this experience only if we let our young son decide on the movie and the eating place… What is best for the Prince is, always, the best for the King and the Queen, you see… Son chose to watch a movie my wife and I had never heard of… ‘Boong’, a short Manipuri film. Apparently, this film had done well in many international film festivals. Here at the INOX/PVR auditorium of the glittering Jio world, it sounded very weird for us… We were the only three spectators till the movie started. Then, another couple joined… and, that’s it. The film was about this poor family of M...

  “It does not matter how slowly you go,   as long as you do not stop.” Confucius   O ne of my young friends is a passionate marathon runner. It’s a delight to watch his running posts which he shares regularly on his social-media account. I simply admire his dedication and commitment to long-distance running… “How can these guys do it for so many years?” I have, often, wondered… Yesterday, I was equally delighted to see a different kind of post shared by this friend… He had captured on his camera the maiden step taken by his baby boy, with the caption: “Our baby boy has taken his first step, today… We are so thrilled!”   Doesn’t this feeling sound so familiar to all of us, whether we are runners of just bystanders… We all know how important – and thrilling – is that maiden step of a baby… You and I, when we grow up, simply forget about our baby steps and get caught up only in the big races, long marathons… We are obsessed with the speed and the stamina… “...

    “Growing old is mandatory; but, growing up is optional.” Walt Disney   W e don’t think about ageing when we are young… and, why should we? But, when we are getting older, whether we like it or not, we realize, that we are no younger… Now, no matter what positive philosophy we choose to weave around getting older – ‘aging gracefully’, or ‘age is only a number’, or ‘age is only in your mind’ and so on - the hard truth is this: Growing old is mandatory… But, what we try to do is to choose the option: never to cease growing up… That’s what the legendary Walt Disney said, and did… The Disney Land, Disney World, Disney Movies – everything about Walt Disney testifies for his commitment to remain childlike, never to lose the sense of wonder… curiosity and that incessant hunger to keep growing up …   Y esterday, our son turned 33. During the day, he shared, in our family group, an AI-generated picture of himself – he, at 33, hugging his baby self. Probab...

  “Through every turn of the wheel of life, we feel the touch of God’s love and mercy.” Unknown T he time to make decisions is not when we are too excited, too depressed, or too angry. In other words, when we are emotionally unstable, we should let our thoughts to stabilize, regain the perspective – and make decisions from that place… Naturally, when we are too excited, we tend to overestimate our strength, and, on the other hand, when we are feeling too low – anxious, sad, hurt, or angry – certainly, that’s when our mind is clouded… “Don’t’ cut a tree when you see no leaves on it,” is one of the oldest pieces of advice. There is a season for the tree to lose all its leaves and look hopeless. But, we know, there is a new season around the corner when the tree will wear fresh, vibrant leaves. So, Life goes on in this manner… It invites us to stay hopeful through every season… A friend of mine, who lives in a distant city, loves to write on one of her favourite subjects...

  “The beautiful thing about setbacks is, that they introduce us to our strengths.” Robin Sharma   I am never tired of telling young kids this: “Look, you need to know your strengths and build your self-confidence around it.” When I invite them to share some of their strengths, often, I find them clueless. They seem confused between talents and strengths; sometimes, between skills and strengths. I tell them this: “Talents are God-given; you are born with them… When you become self-aware, you discover, that you have a talent to sing, dance, speak, write, paint, design, play sport, tell stories etc.” We all are born with some of these talents. When we become aware of them, some of us go about turning them into fine skills… While some of us do it on our own (self-develop), others do it through training and coaching. That’s why some of us join classes for drawing, singing, dancing, speaking, designing, teaching etc. Every talent can be turned into a fine skill – and when...

  “State calls its own violence - Law; but, that of the individual - Crime.” Max Stirner   My friends and relatives may hold different viewpoints from those of mine on social, political, religious, cultural issues. My spouse and son may hold opposing views… My students, my colleagues, my neighbours – it’s the same everywhere… which means, I cannot expect you to think – and view the world – exactly as I do… In a democractic society, each one of us has this privilege of harbouring and expressing his/her respective viewpoints; and, that puts equal responsibility on each one of us to be patient with each other – to accommodate, tolerate and respect each one’s rights… I think, it is one of the hardest lessons each individual has to learn and practice… Just be patient with others, be more tolerant and accommodating. It’s okay if others – however near and dear they are – do not agree with my viewpoints… Let them feel free to express and assert. It doesn’t make me any wea...