THE UNDELIVERED CHRISTMAS CAKE
“Crippled things are
always more beautiful…
It's the flaw that
brings out beauty.”
Holly Black, Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale
One of the biggest sources of stress for a
householder woman is: Maid Management. Man, though takes this stress indirectly
on his head, it is she who deals with this problem called – Maid Management –
directly on a daily basis.
My wife and I are not spared from this
problem and its consequence: stress. They don’t stick… They make fuss… They are
unreasonable in their demands… They don’t turn up on the day we need them the
most… They speak rudely… They get influenced by other maids… Their work is
shoddy… They are ‘kaam-chors’… They are not dependable and
trustworthy… They should know who is their ‘Boss’… etc., etc…
“Don’t look for perfections,” advised
Bhadekar madam, one of the elderly members in our society and one who has vast
experience in this management stream: Maid Management. Every day on concluding
our morning walk, my wife sits down to chat with Bhadekar madam and they chat
on issues ranging from maid to saas-bahu from note-bandi
to nuclear war… I feel very happy when my wife gets rejuvenated after her
morning dose from Bhadekar madam every day. She was telling her this morning
when my wife was trying to reduce her maid-related stress, “Look, ignore their
flaws… Just adjust and get your work done… If you haven’t found a ‘perfect
maid’ for twenty-five years since you married, believe me, you won’t find one
for rest of your life.”
I loved two examples which Bhadekar madam
gave to my wife. “When you buy a buffalo, if you want everything as you please
– the perfect horns, the perfect black, the perfect amount of milk, even the
perfect grunt… my dear girl, you will only get a perfect kick from the buffalo.
Just caress her back and tell her, “You are the best buffalo I have ever had!”
And the second example was even more
colorful: “Gently caress the crocodile’s back and sing… “So smooth… So nice!”
I don’t know about my wife… but, my stress
dropped completely, even before the Sun came out in the East. Why maid, Colleen
Hoover has advised us to say this to all in our life:
“This thing about
you that you think is your flaw –
it's the reason I'm
falling in love with you.”
I only want to make one correction to
Colleen’s statement: “That I think is your flaw…”
(Bhadekar madam graced our Certification Programme in June, 2022.)
Bhadekar madam passed away, and laid to rest, yesterday. She was 88. Everyone, from the oldest to the newest members of our society, from the house-keeping ladies to the Management Committee members of several years – yes, everyone was remembering her, saying, she was one of the most affectionate, positive and respected human beings.
Meanwhile, I was
feeling a silent guilt in my heart...
Bhadekar aunty,
who never missed to wish my wife and me on our birthdays or Christmas day, had
called us up early on this Christmas day. As we don’t reside in our old colony now,
in the evening, my wife and I went to her place with a Christmas plum cake...
No one opened the door when we kept ringing the doorbell. I tried calling
her... There was no response... Then, I called her son, Anil. That’s when we
got to know, that aunty had a fall later that day and had been hospitalized. “But,
there is nothing to be worried,” said Anil, “She will be brought home in a few
days and we want her to take good rest. You may leisurely visit her at home...
I will let you know when.”
Bhadekar aunty,
as I said, had lots of friends and well-wishers, both inside and outside her
colony. Anil and the family members rightly wanted her not to be disturbed by
too many visitors. She had become frail and needed constant help when she moved
inside the house. I, too, decided not to tax her more with our visit...
On the 24th
of this month, Anil called me up and said gently, “Mother was asking, ‘Gerry
and Anima were to come; why haven’t they come?’... Just have a word with her,
she will feel good.”
Aunty took some
time to say, “Hello Gerry.” She sounded very weak and resigned... “How are you
and Anima?”
I assured her,
that I would be visiting her soon. “Take your time, Gerry,” Anil said...
I got tied up
with other work... Four days later, last morning, Anil called up to say, “Mother
is no more.”
The Christmas
Cake, which aunty loved, left undelivered, this time...
Even though my
heart feels a lot heavy with guilt, I know, that aunty is, now, in the company
of beautiful angels, who will be singing for her Christmas carols, forever...
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic’s: 1. Pixel 1 2. Pixabay
Video: THE DAWN CLUB CENTRE OF EXCELLENCE
Comments
Only happy tears for her. God bless her soul.
So well said and put up so gracefully.
Yesterday everyone spoke so high and good about her. As a daughter I feel so proud of my mom.
My mom always spoke so high about you.
I am glad to be connected to you through her.
All I would summarize by say.
Only a goldsmith knows the value of gold.
She was indeed an inspiration to most of the females in our colony & most respectable person in the society with full of positive energy.
For me, she was invariably more of an affectionate mother as she erased the adjective of "-in-law" from our intrinsic relationship. I would call her "aga Aayee, tu..." instead of "ahoo Aayee, tumhi..." in Marathi, which naturally bridged the gap between so called 'saas-bahu' distance. She would also call me by my maternal name - Prasanna, which made me feel at home (my mykaa - not missing my mother especially, who had passed away just before my marriage).
Likewise, she kept praising me for my drawing talent, would tell people about it with lot of pride & also encouraged me to develop this skill.
Thanks Jerry, your blog has given me opportunity to express my feelings towards Aayee.. lots of memories, which will always remain in my ❤️