Gerald D'Cunha

“T here’s no point in trying to convince someone who’s already made up his mind. ” This is a wise and old piece of advice.   Now, we all make up our minds. In fact, we are encouraged to do so... Aren’t we? But, what if someone is too adamant, too inflexible, too egoistic? And, what if this person keeps citing the ‘Laws’… Keeps accusing everyone’s actions as ‘illegal’? Yes, this is the person, who, the Wise say, we should not try to convince. They have made up their minds… and, even if the whole world falls apart around them, they won’t move an inch! But, invariably, they bring upon them the inevitable self-destruction… History has enough evidence to show us this truth! T he men who put Jesus Christ to death were such hardcore pharisees … They cited laws, and they always tried to trap Jesus through this medium… When Jesus went around teaching and healing people on the Sabbath Day (The Jews, as per the Moses’ Law, rested and p...

A friend of mine, who is a well-established soft-skill trainer, called me a while ago. “Gerry, I want to enroll my daughter (age 19) for your summer P.D. programme,” he said. “Come on, you must be joking,” I said, “She has an excellent guru right at home.” “But, Gerry, you know how it is,” my trainer-friend said, “Our own children are, always, more receptive to outside gurus than the in-house ones. I trust you and that’s it.” “Never explain yourself to anyone,” we often hear this statement, “For, your friends do not need it; and, your enemies do not believe it.” I really think, that all explanations are futile, if we see from this perspective. I get drained, sometimes, when I attempt to ‘explain’ to others… how I teach, how I handle students – my methodology, my approach to exams, marks, homework, success, discipline and everything that goes in the name of students’ development, success, excellence, coaching, competition   and so on. Over decade...

W hat we hold as valuable in life is what we call a Value in life. Whatever we hold important in life, we always cherish as our Value. And, it all starts with small things… daily, routine things. And yes, many of these things, we simply observe and learn… Parents, teachers, elders do make a conscious effort to inculcate them into us. But, if we do not consciously accept these things and embrace them as our own, then, they will never be… I have in me many Values which I have embraced from my own simple, barely educated, village- parents… Some Values I have observed in others around me, over all these years, and, consciously woven them around my heart. But, when I reflect on this phenomenon, I realize that a Value cannot be imposed upon us… It can only be embraced by us through our own choice… It’s a very conscious act… We like it; so, we embrace it. Period. “A Value is a Value,” Swami Dayananda Saraswati would explain, “only when we realize that the value of the partic...

Pic. : Uttam Ghosh “None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, still,  we go forward. Because we trust… Because we have Faith.”   ―   Paulo Coelho W henever I ask our participants to write down some of their main strengths and weaknesses, I come across this one: “I trust people easily” or “I trust people too much.” Should we trust people – easily? I think, if we operate from our innate faith and strength, trusting others – even if it means easily and early – comes to us naturally, and, that’s how it should be. On the other hand, when we operate from our fear – insecurity, lack and skepticism – it doesn’t come to us naturally… It cannot. Let’s imagine this scenario: I meet someone and approach him with lack of trust. And, he, too, approaches me in the same manner. Where is this interaction, this relationship going to take us? One of the two parties has to operate with a strong, confident heart… a heart...

Pic.: Bhushan Thakkar O ne of the most valuable lessons I have learnt in my life – rather, I am still learning – is: the art of managing disagreements. In fact, a genuine realization that another person around me can have – and, often, does have - another view point, itself, is a very fine lesson. From this very first realization stems the rest of my wisdom:  That, the other person has the right to voice his view, his disagreement, and, I must be confident and graceful enough to respect his view… discuss it out… and, strive for a consensus; That, when there is disagreement, it is only a disagreement… and, there is nothing personal about it; That, it is an opportunity for me to be a strong, sensitive and accommodating person, and, thereby, to enhance my self-confidence and leadership skills; That, if the other person is weak and takes things personally, I must learn not to get into the ‘trap’ and play the same game; That, b...