Gerald D'Cunha

Pic.: Anima D'Cunha “Maybe, sometimes, people did not actually change; Maybe, you just never knew who they really were.” - Unknown I f I do not like someone’s behavior and if I genuinely want him to change, then, I must stop reminding him of his so-called bad behavior… stop making him feel guilty, defensive about it. Nobody has ever changed defending his behavior and guilt! If I am genuinely concerned about his behavior and if I truly wish to rejoice in his change, then, it is important on my part to get in touch with my own desperation to point to him – repeatedly – how wrong he is, how flawed… Yes, I must ask this to myself: “Why am I so obsessed with his behavior? Do I really, really want him to change? Do I wish to truly rejoice in his change? Does it help me – leave alone him – if I keep reminding him about his flaws and make him feel defensive and guilty?” The more I point it out to him, the more hardened he becomes… the more...