Gerald D'Cunha

  “That fear of missing out on things makes you miss out on everything.” Etty Hellesum   T oday is 7 th Jan., exactly a week since the advent of new year 2026. In the evening, I received this message from my dear, old student, Rekha: “Good evening Sir, wishing you joy, prosperity and endless blessings in 2026. A Happy New Year to you and your family.” She added, “Sorry for the delayed response, Sir. Your new-year message, somehow, got lost in the mountain of messages!” I loved that imagery – ‘lost in the mountain of messages’... My reply went to Rekha, instantly: “HaHa... ‘Lost in the mountain of messages!’ Rekha, I found the title for my next Blog.” “All the best for your next Blog, Sir,” Rekha cheered. Rekha and Srikar were my students when they were doing their TY BCom. They were in love... Soon after graduating, they got married... and, they never forgot to invite me for their wedding reception... A few years later, their little girl Sharika was born, ...

  “The beautiful thing about setbacks is, that they introduce us to our strengths.” Robin Sharma   I am never tired of telling young kids this: “Look, you need to know your strengths and build your self-confidence around it.” When I invite them to share some of their strengths, often, I find them clueless. They seem confused between talents and strengths; sometimes, between skills and strengths. I tell them this: “Talents are God-given; you are born with them… When you become self-aware, you discover, that you have a talent to sing, dance, speak, write, paint, design, play sport, tell stories etc.” We all are born with some of these talents. When we become aware of them, some of us go about turning them into fine skills… While some of us do it on our own (self-develop), others do it through training and coaching. That’s why some of us join classes for drawing, singing, dancing, speaking, designing, teaching etc. Every talent can be turned into a fine skill – and when...

  “It can’t be done for you; it must be done by you.” Frank Sonnenberg   I remembered, two days ago, this incident from the life of Jesus… One day, a very wealthy man approached Jesus and said: “Master, I have followed most of the   commandments of God; what else need I to do to enter the Kingdom of God?” Jesus told the wealthy man this: “Give away all your wealth, and follow me.” Obviously, the rich man got disheartened and walked away from Jesus. Jesus, then, looked at the crowd and said: “It’s as difficult for a rich man to walk into the Kingdom of God as it’s for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle.” Two days ago, I remembered this incident when a 25-year-old young man approached me asking, “Sir, I am graduate… I go daily to my family’s business outlet… I speak fairly well… and I live in a caring joint family… But, I lack self-confidence inside me… What else need I to do?” I had asked this young man to see me at 9 a.m., the day after. At 8.45 a...

    “The more you believe in yourself, the more the world believes in you.” Isa Zapata   F aith in one’s abilities doesn’t come overnight. If it does, such faith in oneself – such self-belief – can be dangerous. Self-belief should come gradually, through great deal of self-awareness, and lots of self-introspection… Else, it’s overconfidence… As I said, it can be dangerous. What one is good at, what work one can do exceptionally well – yes, the sooner one gets this awareness, the sooner comes one’s self-belief. T wo days ago, I was holding a programme for the students of a premier Architecture college in Mumbai. The subject of the programme was ‘Self-confidence and Communication Skills’. Towards the end, when I asked those young kids to ask me any question that bothered them, many did. But, two questions from these two girls, particularly, carried a worthy response from my side… O ne of these two girls gathered her courage and said, “Sir, I am a shy perso...

  “Being a champion is all well and   good; but, you can’t eat a crown.” Althea Gibson   L ate last night, I received a message from Mrs. Geeta Kulkarni, who presently lives in Pune: “Hi Gerry, how are you? How’s Anima and your son? I had a long chat with Kamala Parthasarathy… She said, that she reads your blogs and loves them lots and lots. She is in USA with her daughter. She is 80-plus. She has asked your number, and I have given it to her.” It was 1980 June-July months. I had come to this big city in October of earlier year… My dad’s brother, who was a small man in BARC, was gracious enough to accommodate me as his own son (I went on to live with his family for seven long years after that). My heart was longing to be a teacher. But, I wasn’t qualified enough to take up a conventional lecturer’s job in a junior or degree college… My only qualification was, that I was hugely inspired by my own idol, my degree-college professor – Mr. B. S Raman… I wanted to...

  “The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; and, the willingness to learn is a choice.” Brian Herbert   “I am like this only”… Well, we all are ‘like this onlys’… There is a deep-rooted nature in all of us. You may be a born-extrovert, while I may be a born-introvert. So, this innate nature, I believe, is what makes us say - ‘I am like this only’… Shy people, I know, will, always, remain shy. Their basic nature gets formed in their mothers’ wombs. So, when they realize what they are born with, it becomes easier for them to work around it… I said, ‘to work around it’… I never said, ‘to do away with it.’ For, I firmly believe, that, while the social skills can be learnt and acquired, they can’t be replaced by completely uprooting our innate nature… Susan Cain describes this inner plight of my type of shy souls like this: “Introverts may have (acquired) strong social skills and (learnt) to enjoy parties and business meetings; but, after...

  “Sweet sixteen today. She’s looking like her mamma a little more every day.” Bob Carlisle   I love to watch young kids - especially those sweet-sixteens - when they carry themselves in their special clothes, with grace, elegance and confidence. I don’t think, everyone can do that.   I may be   wrong when I say this, though… I can say about my own discomfort when I was a teenager. I felt desperately shy whenever I tried something new. A simple change, like tucking my shirt in… I remember feeling so awkward whenever I attempted that. Inside the house, I would try for hours doing my dress-rehearsal before the mirror; but, the moment I stepped outside my house, my shirt would come out, too! Trying a new style was a nightmare for me… “Everyone is watching me”… “Everyone is judging me”… “I don’t look good”… Yes, as a teenager, I have battled with these poor self-esteem issues… the ghosts of self-doubts. Today, when I will be 67 this year, trying a new atti...

  “He is a wise man who doesn’t grieve for  the things he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” Epictetus   T wo days ago, the mother of one of my Class-11 students was telling me, that she wanted her son to continue with me for Class-12 (Accountancy subject). But, she was saying, “Sir I want to send him for all subjects.” Well, this mother is a school teacher… The father is at home for years ‘doing nothing’… The family is starving for cash continuously… This was what I was told, and that’s the truth, in deed. I had reduced the fees for my subject by 75% in class-11, which was paid over 8 small instalments (one is still left)… So, when I heard ‘All Subjects’, initially, I tried to be courteous and advised against it. “Ma’am, it will make him more dependent… He needs to do things on his own, take risks, think on his own… This way, he will grow better, become more responsible and independent.” I wasn’t touching upon the family’s financial situation… “...