WHAT HAVE WE FORGOTTEN, SIR?

 

“He is a wise man who doesn’t grieve for the things he has not,

but rejoices for those which he has.”

Epictetus

 

Two days ago, the mother of one of my Class-11 students was telling me, that she wanted her son to continue with me for Class-12 (Accountancy subject). But, she was saying, “Sir I want to send him for all subjects.”

Well, this mother is a school teacher… The father is at home for years ‘doing nothing’… The family is starving for cash continuously… This was what I was told, and that’s the truth, in deed. I had reduced the fees for my subject by 75% in class-11, which was paid over 8 small instalments (one is still left)…

So, when I heard ‘All Subjects’, initially, I tried to be courteous and advised against it. “Ma’am, it will make him more dependent… He needs to do things on his own, take risks, think on his own… This way, he will grow better, become more responsible and independent.”

I wasn’t touching upon the family’s financial situation… “How will you fund ‘all subjects’?”… I thought, it would hurt her, if I asked her that…

But, then, a mother being a mother, she sounded keen on sending her son for ‘all subjects’…

I kept my anger within myself…

This morning (8 a.m. batch), another boy had let me vent my anger out. This boy had sent a message five minute after the class had started, “Sir, I woke up late; can you please send me the link for online?”

I sent… During the class, the boy kept logging in and out and blamed it on the ‘net issues’…

At the end of the class, I gave a piece of my mind: “What if the online option wasn’t there, my boy?... You would’ve missed the class. Getting up early and showing up for class will help you become responsible and independent in life.”

This boy’s father (who was once my student) has a small business. But, I am aware of the constant financial juggling he has to do. So, I said angrily to this boy, “Do you know the difficulties your dad is facing in his business? Sit with him a couple of times and know about them.”

This is the normal ‘pravachan’ my students get besides by normal teaching of the subject. To me, the subject is a small thing, much smaller compared to ‘Life’ is concerned… I try to sensitize young kids towards life issues – in building up their self-confidence, resilience and learning to be grateful and graceful in life…

Of course, with the definite hope, that my students ‘get it’, at least some of it…

When the class got over, I saw two of my students (twins - a boy and a girl) rushing out, while others were still inside. I called back both of them and said, pointing to the bench they were sitting on, “Sweethearts, you both have forgotten something here,” I pointed to the bench they were silting on. Both started searching and looked at me with the puzzled look – "What have we forgotten, Sir?”

“Sit down; I will tell you,” I was serious. “Does a ‘thank-you, Sir’ cost you anything?” I asked, “Does it make you a fine student, or only your marks do?”

Both said, with a sense of regret, “Thank-you, Sir… We are sorry.”

Last evening, my wife and I had attended the first Holy Communion of little Kyle. His mother, Gayle, had raised this boy as a single parent as her husband had died soon after Kyle was born. My wife, who had seen Gayle’s struggle, got emotional and lost her words as she was saying the ‘Grace before the Meal’…

I came up to handover three of my books to Kyle and Gayle…

‘Thank You for the Music’ – The book about Gratitude… I said to Kyle, “Sweetheart, if you said ‘Thank You’ all your life, you don’t have to say any other prayer.

‘Some Things in Life Don’t Move’ – The Book about Values… The little boy had an idea about Values. I reminded him, ‘Honey, some things really should stay with you. Like a lighthouse, they should stay there firm, guiding you, showing you the right way, always.

Giving Gayle the book I had written on my own Mom, who passed away two moths ago, at 90 – ‘The Good Shepherd and Her Lost Sheep’ - I reminded her how Mothers are the Good Shepherds and their children are the ‘Lost Sheep’…

This morning, I sent a message to Gayle…

“Good morning dear Gayle… Thank you for the wonderful time. We enjoyed every bit of it. I was checking the meaning of the name Kyle… One version is: CONFIDENCE, RESILIENCE, TRUST. Hope it is enough for little Kyle in Life.”

Just after sending this message, I happened to see this picture on FB:

 

 

Niyothi is the daughter of my best friend, Joe. She is married to Lionel and, with their two little kids, they are presently settled in the US. Today is their son Liander’s birthday. Niyothi, the proud mother, shared this picture with a beautiful write-up… I left my comment, instantly:

“Look at that little ball of sunshine… Nothing else is needed in Life, dear Niyothi and Lionel. May that sunshine last a lifetime… lighting up the world. Love and blessings.”

A birthday, a Holy Communion, a marriage, an anniversary, a death… and, yes, yes, yes, an ‘exam’… Through all these, may we live with grace, grit and gratitude…

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic’s: 1 RDNE Stock Project  2 Pixabay  3. Niyothi Lobo

Video: ABBA/ Young Pilgrim Music