LIFE IS ALL ABOUT COMING HOME
“She’s (our daughter) found at VT. We go down on our knees and thank
Mumbai Police who have turned Mumbai inside out to find her. A thousand friends
have been with us for the last 18 harrowing-hours keeping vigil outside her
school No parent should go through what we went through. Thank- you. Thank-you.”
I had no plans to write on this subject.
Late day-before-yesterday night, I read about this incident (12-year-old Alina’s missing
from her school gate y since 8.15 am). A member of our Society had
shared on our Society members’ WhatsApp group this appeal from Alina’s
heart-broken parents. Immediately, so many of our members voiced their concern
and prayers… I went off to sleep after that. Yesterday morning, TOI had carried
the same news… “12-year-old girl went missing from Powai school… and the search
to find her is on…”
That’s the last news item I read before
leaving my home, last morning…
And, here, when I reached my office, I saw
the breaking news on our Scoeity’s WhatsApp group… “The girl has been found…
Thank God,” “God is great,”… “Thanks to Mumbai Police,” and so on. My wife
forwarded the message from her own WhatsApp group, which I have shared here at
the outset… “She was found at VT station at 2 a.m., ” someone else had added. ““Last
what we knew was Alina’s mom scolded her and dropped her to the school,” texted
another in our group, “When she came to pick her up, she (Alina) was missing…”
The last line of Alina’s parents, in their
thank-you message, took my breath away: “No
parent should go through what we went through. Thank- you.”
Read that again… Contemplate on its depth…
the anguish… the wider application…!
My elder brother, who is gem of a human being, who we all brothers look
up to today for strength… Yes, he had failed in 10th standard. My dad,
who himself was a loving soul, did not know how to handle his rebelling teenage
sons. I was in 8th standard and was mom and dad’s ‘good sheep’,
while my elder brother and the next brother were the ‘balcksheep’… Not mom’s
but dad’s. There were constanst confrontations at home… and, our innocent mom
was all a wrecked soul… As a tender boy of age 13, I myself did not know how to
handle what was going on around me. The next thing I knew was that my elder
brother and two of his classmates were missing! Ours was a village in Mangalore…
We did not have even electricity and a toilet in the house, leave alone a
telephone and today’s cell-phones and social media… Imagine the plight of the
parents… I do not know about my brother’s two friends… but, I can tell you why
my own elder brother had decided to ‘run away’ from home: due to his constant
tussle with my dad. The tenth-standard result was just the last straw!
So, what happened to my elder brother and
his two friends? Were they found? Where? When?
After almost three weeks, the parents of
one of my brother’s friends received a letter giving details of their
whereabouts… near the city of Mysore. The parents contacted the rest and
cautioned: “We will be going to Mysore to fetch all three boys home… Please,
please, please do not scold or punish them.”
Once the young boys were brought home, the
other parents were called. I remember that night… It was past ten. I had accompanied
my dad and mom to the residence of my brother's friend. I also remember bumping into Mr.
Mathias, a respected senior community member, enroute. He reminded my mom and
dad about the story of the Prodigal Son from the Bible. “You just need to
rejoice, thank and celebrate your son’s home-coming.” Even he cautioned:
“Please do not be harsh to your son when he comes home.”
My elder brother, as I said, is an amazing
gentleman, today… We really lean on him for strength and guidance… But, to
become a strong and gentle soul, perhaps, that ‘Prodigal Son’ episode had to
happen in his life.
My dad had issues with my next brother,
too, as I said. He, too, was a rebel and dad did not know how to handle the
rebellion. This brother of mine had been away from home, while in school, at
least twice… only to come back to our parents’ fold. The scars of that tender
age, somehow, have not left him, yet… even after thirty-two years since our dad
left us!
Every day, parents shout and scream at their children. No matter how enlightened
and educated you are, as a parent, you do scream and yell at your children… Of
course, you justify it saying, “It is all for your good… or, saying, “We do it
because we love and care for you.” Here, in schools, colleges and classes, we
teachers, too, do the same… We scold and yell at our students… very often, criticize, ridicule
and even mete out harsh punishment… And, yes, we, too, try to justify our
actions with the same rationale: “It is for your good,”… “We do it because we
love and care for you.”
Mercifully, all children do not run away
from home. Some divine grace intervenes… Something saves them from taking the
drastic step!
To me, the experience of going away from home… and coming
back home… is spiritual… a Prodigal Son experience. Perhaps, that’s the reason
why Stephen Covey famously said, “Life is all about coming home!”
Well, here is another thought… I need to
express it, however uncomfortable I may feel about it: As a parent and as a
spouse, has the thought of leaving home crossed my mind, any time?
Many times!
Whether you admit it or not, I would like
to be honest about it. Just like my dad, I, too, find myself wanting wisdom in
this area… There have been childhood scars which have shaped my consciousness… which
drive my actions… cause me to sulk or erupt… But, something saves me all the time…
Grace of God, if you like to call it. I do not leave home… I allow the extreme
feelings of sadness or anger pass away… I stay home…
Yes, staying home and coming home, both,
need God’s grace.
“Thank-you… Thank-you.”
GERALD D’C UNHA
Pic.: Chetna Shetty
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