AFTER ALL, IT'S ALL SMALL STUFF... DON'T SWEAT IT













A week ago, my friend, Vivek, had shared with me a Post. Its source was unknown. In this Post, a man, who had crossed 60, when asked if he was changing, says, “Yes, I am changing…” and, goes about describing the little, subtle changes that have come in. I could relate to all of them, as, I, too, had turned 60 in last July… I found myself quietly checking, if the author’s changes were mine, too…

Indeed, they were mine, too. Not only mine, I felt, they were of a vast majority, as well…

When we are young, we are a lot impatient, critical and competitive. We tend to complain, fume and rant excessively… We sweat the small stuff. But, with age, most of us see the futility of such excessive restlessness – complaining, fuming and ranting… We learn to slow down… We become less argumentative and more accepting and peaceful…

Some of the little, subtle changes, and the author describes in his Post are…

Yes, I am changing: I’ve now stopped bargaining with the vegetables and fruit vendors. After all, a few rupees more is not going to burn a hole in my pocket. But, it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.

Yes, I am changing: I now pay the taxi driver without waiting for the change. The extra money might bring a smile on his face. After all, he is toiling much harder for a living than me.

Yes, I am, changing: I’ve stopped telling the elderly that they have already narrated that story many times. After all, the story makes them walk down the memory lane and relive the past.

Yes, I am changing: I’ve learnt not to correct people, even when I know they are wrong. After all, the onus of making everyone perfect is not on me… Peace is more precious than perfection.


The age 60 is just a metaphor. Time mellows our hearts… Yes, most of us learn not to make a huge fuss over small stuff…  Late Richard Carlson’s little book ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… and It’s All Small Stuff’ carries scores of these little, subtle ways in which we can learn to make peace with our imperfections. In its introduction, the author recalls a stressful moment… Apparently, in one of his earlier books, he had used certain text from the famous author Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book. Before he could get the permission from Dr. Dyer, the publishers had already come out with the book. Richard Carlson was very worried as he thought it was not ethical and right… He wanted to explain to Dr. Dyer the situation and apologize, and, if needed, he was ready to pull out the publication of the said book. Thus, he wrote a letter to Dr. Dyer. To his surprise, in a few days, he received a reply from the famed author saying, “Richard, Don’t sweat the small stuff… and it’s all small stuff.”

The weight fell off Richard Carlson’s heart, instantly. Dr. Dyer’s advice, ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… and, It’s  All Small Stuff’ – went on to become the title of Carlson’s next book (his 10th book), and it was destined to make him as famous as Dr. Dyer himself!


Early this morning, I caught an auto outside our society gate to my workplace. While getting off, I saw the fare on the meter… It was thirty rupees. As I was paying the exact amount, the meter jumped to thirty-two. I had already stretched my hand holding thirty rupees… The auto driver, who seemed to be in his late forties or early fifties, gave me a look, which suggested, that the meter now was showing two rupees more. I quickly added another two rupees and gave it him gladly, saying, “Aapka pehla bhada hai.”

I had Buzzo (our favourite society dog) and his companion, Sony, both waiting near the auto… They always come running from wherever they are and greet me and want me to caress them till I reach my office. Today, too, as I was getting off the auto, both of them kept asking me, through their wagging tails, to caress them… “Good morning Buzzo… Good Morning Sony,” I started caressing them, as we all – I and my two friends – kept walking towards my office. After a while, when I looked back, I saw the autowala still there, at the same spot, looking at us delightfully…

I was happy… He was happy… Buzzo and Sony were happy…

There were days, when I had sweated over such small stuff… yes, early in the morning. I had argued over the fare… that extra one rupee or those extra two rupees…

Today was a new day with a new window… I cannot say if the change had come about with age 60… But, my heart was telling me, “After all, it’s all small stuff… Don’t sweat it!”


GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Uttam Ghosh

Comments

Dr Dee said…
Thank you ...indeed the simple moments have big joys.Sweating small stuff and worrying robs us of seeing the miracles happening in plain sight.
Wilma Menon said…
Beautiful observations, Sir! Myself and Raju could relate so well with them. Regards.

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