Gerald D'Cunha

  “I sit before flowers, 
 hoping they will train me in the art of opening up.” Shane Koyczan   T oday was the second session for this group of young kids. They come from underprivileged areas of our suburb. An NGO has been helping them through computer and AI skills. The same NGO has requested our Centre to help them in their soft skills… develop self-confidence, communication and interpersonal skills. I found one of the young girls a bit lost during the session. “ Beta , you are feeling ok?” I asked her. Then, to involve her in the proceedings, I nudged her gently to come up to the stage and tell something about her… To my surprise, the young girl did not get rattled. She stood there in front of about 20 of us (including her peers, two instructors and me). “You can speak in Hindi, if you wish,” I encouraged her, “Or, you can mix Hindi and English.” The girl chose to do it mixed… “Friends, my name is Muskaan… I have recently cleared my tenth standard, and I ...

  “The most critical time in a battle is not when I’m fatigued; it’s when I no longer care.” Graig G. Lounsbrough   O ne of the powerful imageries, deeply imbedding in my mind, relates to this period of Lent... Jesus Christ’s prayer at the lonely place – Gethsemane Garden. He knew, what’s coming upon him... He had lost his courage... He was feeling his humanness completely... Thus, He had gone, accompanied by a few trusted disciples, to pray for courage... That prayer was so intense, the Holy Book says, that Jesus sweat blood... Down on His knees, He had prayed: “Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless, not what I will, but what thou wilt.” It wasn’t possible for Jesus Christ to arrive at this crucial stage before he could experience the courage and peace... He prayed hard before acceptance brought in Him – peace... Now, He was unafraid, he was ready to face whatever was supposed to befall upon Him... In Lent, we ...

  “The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree, but hold hands.” Alexandra Penney   M y Mom passed away, on this day, a year ago. Today, as I write this Post, her memorial mass must’ve just concluded at the local church in our hometown, Mangalore. My wife and I had booked the air tickets some three months ago and we were keen to attend this first memorial mass. But, due to my wife’s health condition, we had to drop our plans ... Mom – we called her ‘Mai’ – lived nearly for ninety years. Except for the last two years, she led a simple yet productive life. She had five sons to raise... I was her second son. Our Dad (we called him ‘baab’ ) died of a sudden heart attack on 2 nd January, 1983. He was 57 and Mom was 48. What I cannot erase from my mind is how fondly our Mom would remind us, her five sons, on Dad’s every death anniversary... “It’s ten years today, since Dad passed away”... “Today, it’s twenty years” “Today, it’s thirty years”... She did that till ...

“There are two great days in a person’s life:        the day we are born, and the day we discover why.”       William Barclay   “S ir it’s going to be my 40 th b’day,” messaged Shripad, last night, “Will you write a blog on me?” This soon-to-be-40 boy (He is still a ‘boy’ for me) never ceases to amuse me... Shripad is going to be 40 on this October, 16... and, the countdown has already   begun! In fact, the count down, every year, begins when October 2 approaches... Early in the morning, on 2 nd October, Shripad calls up to greet me: “Happy b’day Bapu.” It’s going to be eighteen years, now... Shripad was in TY B’Com. He was brought to me by his parents. “Sir, he is a ‘special child’; he has some learning and coping disabilities... But, he refuses to be treated as a ‘disabled’ or a ‘special’ child... He wants to be treated like everyone else.” Well, I have written so many times about Shripad... He had...

  “To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease and lightness.” Eckhart Tolle   O ne of the surest ways to keep our peace is never to overplay our difficulties and challenges in life. While on the one side, you and I try to protect ourselves against Life’s unforeseen challenges, on the other side, Life, often, throws before us these challenges, and catches us off guard… Health crisis, financial crisis, relationship crisis – and a dozen more of them… Life is unpredictable… It throws before us fresh challenges, especially, when we really, really do not want to face them… Thus, I have come to this conclusion: No matter how big the challenge Life throws before me, I should never overplay it, never dramatize it… In other words, the lesser I resist, the more ease and peace I find. That’s the only way to find grace and courage… It is acceptance, the seat of peace. There is no answer to our angst: ‘Why me?’ The only sane answer, I have come to fi...

  “If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have less, give of your heart.” Anonymous   O n the New-year day, I had called to wish one of my elderly relatives. This woman had struggled hard all her life and given her children quite a cushioned life… In the process, she hadn’t kept anything for her old age or medical issues. For past few years, her health has been waning and making her fully dependent – financially as well as physically – on her married children. During my conversation with this woman, she mentioned about one of her nieces, who is in her mid-sixties. “Gerry, she had called me yesterday and told me, that she had been very sick and nobody was     helping her. I feel bad… Her dad had helped me when I was young and struggling… I want to help her financially. But, you know my situation… I can’t take any decision on my own… I am completely dependent on my children… I am scared to ask them to do anything in this respect.” I heard out my elde...

  “Running a marathon with a backpack is tough and may hinder you from winning the race. Don’t let the baggage of your past   - heavy with fear, guilt and anger – slow you down.” Maddy Malhotra   T here is a couple I know. They are in their mid-seventies. Everyone who knows them says, that they never fight, never even argue… The husband, particularly. Well, because several people say that, including the grown-up children of this couple, I have to swallow my doubt about it. I am compelled to believe, that there is a sizable number of humans on this planet, who behave gently even when things don’t go right in their lives… I said, “When things don’t go right in their lives”… Didn’t I? When things go right – when we are not challenged – it’s easy for all of us to behave gently – speak gently and act gently… That’s easy. But, when our chips are down – when things don’t go the   way we want them to – yes, that’s when our character is tested… Remember the ...

  “Eating together is an act of mutual vulnerability and surrender.” Barbara Brown Taylor   M other Mary’s birthday is celebrated as Nativity feast by the Catholics. In Konkani, we would call it ‘Monthy Fest’. For Catholic   families, in and around Mangalore, it was a big festival, and we celebrate it on every Sept 8. The most important part of the celebration, for every household, has, always, been eating together the feast meal, known as ‘Novem’… While growing up, we had no dining tables. So, we had to sit together on the floor and a fare of half-a-dozen veggies, rice, paysam and the new grains of rice ground into coconut milk was savoured with prayers. Our grandpa (dad’s dad), always, choked while saying the prayers, remembering the family members who were away from home… and, it’s for my mom to continue with it! The banana leaf had so many items of vegetarian fare, which, as children, we never appreciated… I remember eating it half-heartedly. Our mom’s at...