THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE

 

“There really are places in the heart

you don’t even know exist

until you love a child.”

Anne Lamott

 

From the point where I stand today, I can see in these two directions – towards my dad and towards my son – and ask this question: “How much of dad’s bright or dark qualities have I inherited in my own life?”

My dad was a born extrovert; he loved singing Konkani folk songs at every available venue – be it a wedding, parish feast or birthday celebration.  I, the same father’s son, was a born introvert… I, always, hid myself from showing up before a group of people, leave alone being blessed with a singing talent.

On the darker side, my dad drank like a fish and smoked like a chimney… and died early in life. I had seen the effect it had on our family, and I chose to stay off completely from booze and smoke.

But, I have never been able to stay off my love for non-veg food – meat and fish. On the other side, our only son has, always, been a vegetarian. Despite my wife and I trying to convert him into a non-vegetarian, he hasn’t allowed himself to fall prey to our temptations.

I write. My son draws. I am an idealist, more driven by my heart than my head. My son is quite pragmatic, more driven by his head than his heart.

I can go on like this…

Yes, I agree with the old saying, “Your children learn more from what you are than from what you try to teach them.” Yes, I, also, agree with the saying, “Your children need your presence more than your presents.”

Well, my dad was a poor man; he was hardly in a position to give his children presents. And presence? Oh yes – he did give in his own rustic way…

What about me? Have I been present for my son, always?

No matter how I wish to answer that question, I think, my son – a 32-year-old man today – will be able to do it better.

Along our growing up, the most significant impact is left, always, by our parents – Yes, I agree. But, like everything else in life – we are, also, impacted by scores of other things, and hundreds of other people.

Many parents get a high, when someone praises them, pointing at their children, “The chip off the old block.” This means, ‘All credit goes to you Sir/Madam”…

The credit for the child’s success, obviously…

I tell you, what a high, that is!

Well, how does it feel when the parents are reminded, pointing at their children - “Diya tale andera”?

Often, we parents have asked that to ourselves: “Why is it dark right under the lamp despite the lamp spreading so much light far and wide?”

This morning, I was watching some heartwarming videos of Judge Caprio (‘Caught In Providence’). This one inspired me to write today’s Blog…

The story, the woman told Judge Caprio about his Italian immigrant-father, made not only him emotional, it made millions of his viewers, too. One of the comments said:

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”… I got the title for my Blog!

Yes, like father, like son…

As much as I want to believe in Kahlil Gibran’s famous lines – “Your children are not your children; they are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself…”, yes,  as much as I want to believe in this poetic/philosophical lines, I, also, want to believe, that while all apples fall not far from the tree, all of them may not turn out to be good ones…

And, certainly, the tree can’t be blamed for it... Right?

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic’s: Pixabay

 

Video: Caught In Providence