Gerald D'Cunha

  “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” -      Dolly Parton   A couple of days ago, a lady called me seeking some help for her young son, her only child. She held a good position in a large organization. “Sir, my son is doing his grade 10 in so and so school (one of the sought-after ones). He is excellent in his studies, and communication… He is a voracious reader and writes, too, well. But, I want him to learn how to structure his presentations better, face interviews efficiently (for studies abroad, perhaps) and manage some of his anxiety…” From my experience, parents of grade 10 students, normally, are so stuck with academics, that they don’t think about things like soft skills. But, here was a mother, who, apparently, wanted her young son to be ‘perfect’, the ‘best’. I tried to calm her down saying, “Ma’am, from what you said, I understand, that your son is a bright young boy. Trust me, he doesn’t need an...

  “We all see only  that which we are trained to see.” Robert Anton Wilson S hadab is a gentleman... a ‘gentle man’, I said. He is an educated man... I said an ‘educated’ man. Some years ago, when he and his wife came to live in the housing society, I was its Chairman. When he moved in, he had one daughter, Maham, who is now in her early teens. Just when Covid broke out, our family moved to a flat (owned by my brother-in-law) in a nearby society. Our own flat, meanwhile, is under lock and key. I am very fond of young kids. I want them to develop the reading habit. Hence, for many years, I have been gifting our books to several kids. Maham has been a beneficiary of these books. One of the many books I had gifted to Maham was titled ‘I am Good, The World is Good’. The  book had an apt baseline – ‘Jaisi Dhrishti, Waisi Shrishti’. The book was intended to sensitize young kids to develop an inclusive outlook towards the society... help them stay away from social and re...

“We’ve all got the light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.” Sirius Black in Harry Potter    N o. Shyness doesn’t go. It’s something beautiful about you… Your essence, your core. For God’s sake, recognize it, accept it, respect it, and celebrate it… Yes, I tell this to hundreds of worried parents. “Has your own shyness gone?” I, often, ask them. “Had you been to a psychologist or a Personality Development centre to root it out?” When you try to root out your shyness, you root out your essence, your core… What you leave behind is a distorted you, not the authentic you. Well, all this may sound very fictional for the uninitiated. A couple of days ago, a young, married woman had come to see me. She wanted to be a corporate trainer on ‘wellness’. “I want to learn voice modulation and right diction,” she kept insisting… “You don’t need them, madam,” I kept reminding her, “What you need is the belief in you...

“Dismiss thoughts of good, bad, right, wrong, success, failure – be spontaneous.” Joshua L. Goldberg   O ne evening, I was returning from work… It was around 6.30, and I was especially tired on that day… Two more long-distance zoom sessions still awaited after reaching home… As it was a rush-hour for our building lift, when I sneaked in, it was already packed with people returning from their duties, some elderly men and women returning after their daily walk… Just when the lift door was about close, two little boys – probably about age 9 or 10 – got in. There was no place; still, they didn’t care, nor did any of us , the so-called ‘elders’ who were weight-conscious…. We knew, that the lift would happily take  few kilos of additional weight… So, as the lift started taking us up, the two little friends -  one, quite chubby and heavier in size holding a bat in his hand, the other, a lean, little sardar – continued their animated conversation… They seemed least bother...

  “There are, obviously, two educations: One should teach us how to make a living, and the other, how to live.” James T. Adama   I   see, both, respect for time and respect for food, are correlated. To go even further – many other things are correlated, too… There are these two young boys in my class. Their academic year is almost over. But, I have never been able to make them come ‘on time’, leave alone ‘before time’. I have used all possible motivational tricks in my arsenal… gentle words, harsh words, love and anger… No. Nothing has worked. Their favorite excuse for reaching late is - ‘stuck in the traffic’. First time, one can understand… But, every time ‘stuck in the traffic’? “Will they accept this reason at the airport? Will the airplane wait for Your Majesty?” “Will they accept this reason on the day of your Board exam? Will they wait for you, or give extra time to complete your paper?” “Will the surgeon and his team wait for you on the operati...

  “Sweet sixteen today. She’s looking like her mamma a little more every day.” Bob Carlisle   I love to watch young kids - especially those sweet-sixteens - when they carry themselves in their special clothes, with grace, elegance and confidence. I don’t think, everyone can do that.   I may be   wrong when I say this, though… I can say about my own discomfort when I was a teenager. I felt desperately shy whenever I tried something new. A simple change, like tucking my shirt in… I remember feeling so awkward whenever I attempted that. Inside the house, I would try for hours doing my dress-rehearsal before the mirror; but, the moment I stepped outside my house, my shirt would come out, too! Trying a new style was a nightmare for me… “Everyone is watching me”… “Everyone is judging me”… “I don’t look good”… Yes, as a teenager, I have battled with these poor self-esteem issues… the ghosts of self-doubts. Today, when I will be 67 this year, trying a new atti...

  “There really are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child.” Anne Lamott   F rom the point where I stand today, I can see in these two directions – towards my dad and towards my son – and ask this question: “How much of dad’s bright or dark qualities have I inherited in my own life?” My dad was a born extrovert; he loved singing Konkani folk songs at every available venue – be it a wedding, parish feast or birthday celebration.   I, the same father’s son, was a born introvert… I, always, hid myself from showing up before a group of people, leave alone being blessed with a singing talent. On the darker side, my dad drank like a fish and smoked like a chimney… and died early in life. I had seen the effect it had on our family, and I chose to stay off completely from booze and smoke. But, I have never been able to stay off my love for non-veg food – meat and fish. On the other side, our only son has, always, been a vegetarian. De...