WHEN YOU TRY TO ROOT OUT YOUR SHYNESS



“We’ve all got the light and dark inside us.

What matters is the part we choose to act on.

That’s who we really are.”

Sirius Black in Harry Potter 

 

No. Shyness doesn’t go. It’s something beautiful about you… Your essence, your core. For God’s sake, recognize it, accept it, respect it, and celebrate it…

Yes, I tell this to hundreds of worried parents. “Has your own shyness gone?” I, often, ask them. “Had you been to a psychologist or a Personality Development centre to root it out?”

When you try to root out your shyness, you root out your essence, your core… What you leave behind is a distorted you, not the authentic you.

Well, all this may sound very fictional for the uninitiated.






A couple of days ago, a young, married woman had come to see me. She wanted to be a corporate trainer on ‘wellness’. “I want to learn voice modulation and right diction,” she kept insisting…

“You don’t need them, madam,” I kept reminding her, “What you need is the belief in yourself and in what you are planning to offer.”

This morning, one of my dear old students called me to discuss about her 14-year-old daughter’s shyness. She said, “My daughter is very intelligent, very creative and very disciplined. She is a voracious reader and loves to immerse herself in  Harry Potter books. But, she is very shy.”

I was listening… and, reflecting on my own 14-year-old high school days in my village in Mangalore… I was in 9th standard, just as this little lady is. But, unlike this young, intelligent, creative, reading-hungry young one, I was someone who was terrified to show himself up… My chronic inferiority complex (social anxiety) had forced me to hide myself from showing up anywhere in public – a mass in our church or a wedding in our neighbourhood.  Just the thought of showing up would send tremours through my body… The traces of these tremors can be still felt every time I ‘show up’, yes, even today!

So, this month when I turn 67 - after writing thousands of my daily blogs, publishing more than 35 motivational books and several motivational magazines, and besides my 50 years of teaching college kids and conducting ‘Personality Development’ programmes – you want to know if I am ‘freed’ from my shyness?

There was a time, yes, once… when I thought shyness was a handicap, that it crippled me. I wanted it to go, forever, and set me free. But, along my attempts to accomplish this mission – I woke up to the reality, that, whatever I have been doing ever since my traumatic teens, is nothing but recognizing, accepting, respecting and celebrating my shy self… my essence, my beauty – the fountainhead of all irresistible drive in life…

Had you taken away my shyness, Sir, I would’ve been a lifeless soul by now!

All that I have done, all through my growing-up years, is this: I have bloomed around my shyness  - the soul of my personality. Because I have been shy, I have this drive – to teach, train, write, to dream to be empathetic … to be alive.

“It’s our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” Albus Dumbledore’s kind advice was not just meant for shy Harry Potter from the fantasy world, but for every touch-me-not of this real world…




Blessed are those who are shy. For, they inherit the kingdom of God! Do you hear this Beatitude, dear Anaysha?

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic’s.: 1. world.edu   2. www.ba-bamail.com

 

Video: Talent Recap

 


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