Gerald D'Cunha

“What people in the world think of you is really none of your business.” ―  Martha Graham   “H ow is the situation now?” I checked with this person, last night, “Time heals,” I added. “Situation is the same; but, I am coping.” The person replied, this morning. “Cope the best way you can; it won’t leave you weak. Trust me,” I consoled. “Keep me in your prayers,” the person wrote. Of course, I would. But, as you know, like most of us do, I, too, won’t go my knees before a picture or idol of God and pray, “O God, have mercy on my friend.” There is no need for any such prayers… “How’s the situation now? Time heals.” --   Was it not my prayer in itself? When my troubled friend tries sincerely to cope with his/her situation, I think, sooner or later, the situation ‘will change’. Meanwhile, you and I have our own ‘situations’ to cope with… and, we find ourselves saying the same thing to our own well-wishers: “Please keep me in your prayers.” At the end of ...

  “I sit before flowers, 
 hoping they will train me in the art of opening up.” Shane Koyczan   T oday was the second session for this group of young kids. They come from underprivileged areas of our suburb. An NGO has been helping them through computer and AI skills. The same NGO has requested our Centre to help them in their soft skills… develop self-confidence, communication and interpersonal skills. I found one of the young girls a bit lost during the session. “ Beta , you are feeling ok?” I asked her. Then, to involve her in the proceedings, I nudged her gently to come up to the stage and tell something about her… To my surprise, the young girl did not get rattled. She stood there in front of about 20 of us (including her peers, two instructors and me). “You can speak in Hindi, if you wish,” I encouraged her, “Or, you can mix Hindi and English.” The girl chose to do it mixed… “Friends, my name is Muskaan… I have recently cleared my tenth standard, and I ...

  “State calls its own violence - Law; but, that of the individual - Crime.” Max Stirner   My friends and relatives may hold different viewpoints from those of mine on social, political, religious, cultural issues. My spouse and son may hold opposing views… My students, my colleagues, my neighbours – it’s the same everywhere… which means, I cannot expect you to think – and view the world – exactly as I do… In a democractic society, each one of us has this privilege of harbouring and expressing his/her respective viewpoints; and, that puts equal responsibility on each one of us to be patient with each other – to accommodate, tolerate and respect each one’s rights… I think, it is one of the hardest lessons each individual has to learn and practice… Just be patient with others, be more tolerant and accommodating. It’s okay if others – however near and dear they are – do not agree with my viewpoints… Let them feel free to express and assert. It doesn’t make me any wea...

  “At the heart of all anger, all grudges, and all resentment, you’ll find a fear that hopes to stay anonymous.” Donald L. Hicks   “H ow’s is your health?”… a woman asked me, gently, a while ago. I had many options to choose my reply from: “Not so good”… “Doctors say this and that”… “Reports say this and that”… Well, these kinds of responses come quite easily… Complaints immediately draw sympathy, you see. And - we may not like to admit it – we long for sympathy from others. But, then, if I had replied to the question – “How’s your health?” – saying, “It’s Great!”… that’s not the truth either. Telling someone your health is ‘Great’, when it’s actually not, is a lie. You are deceiving not only others, but also yourself. So, this morning, I, instantly, replied to the woman, when asked gently – “How is your health?”, “It’s good, no complaints.” The woman, who asked me the question, seemed impressed by my rejoinder - “No complaints”, and said, “I like that phrase...

  “Running a marathon with a backpack is tough and may hinder you from winning the race. Don’t let the baggage of your past   - heavy with fear, guilt and anger – slow you down.” Maddy Malhotra   T here is a couple I know. They are in their mid-seventies. Everyone who knows them says, that they never fight, never even argue… The husband, particularly. Well, because several people say that, including the grown-up children of this couple, I have to swallow my doubt about it. I am compelled to believe, that there is a sizable number of humans on this planet, who behave gently even when things don’t go right in their lives… I said, “When things don’t go right in their lives”… Didn’t I? When things go right – when we are not challenged – it’s easy for all of us to behave gently – speak gently and act gently… That’s easy. But, when our chips are down – when things don’t go the   way we want them to – yes, that’s when our character is tested… Remember the ...

  “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” Maya Angelou   S ome days ago, I was telling a group of underprivileged children how our random acts of kindness had ripple effect… “Kindness, always, spreads… It is contagious,” I explained to them in Hindi. Then, I encouraged them to share one or two acts of kindness either they had done towards others, or others had done towards them. Many stood up to share… Our random acts of kindness, invariably, are not only done by us randomly, but also done by us towards random people. Often, they are done towards people who do not even deserve our kindness. I know, it is difficult to accommodate that view: “Why should we be kind to someone who doesn’t deserve our kindness?” “A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve,” says Joseph Joubert. Mother Teresa famously said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Well, we aren’t talking, here, about the ‘big acts’ of kindness – the Mother Teresa’s...

  “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain   A fter concluding my regular Accountancy class (Class 12) at 5.30, last evening, I was to hurry up to take a session on ‘Personality Development’ for the underprivileged students in a nearby slum area (Organized by an NGO). Some 20-30 kids were expected to be there. The 17-year-old Arfaat had attended my regular Accountancy class, and he was to accompany me for the PD session, too. As it was pouring heavily, I requested Arfaat to get an autorickshaw to my classes. In a few minutes, Arfaat returned, drenched fully despite a wind sheeter he wore… “Where is the auto?” I asked him. “Sir, it is there,” he pointed to the auto waiting a few meters away from my classes. “Ask him to come in,” I said to Arfaat… Arfaat, my gentle-natured student, went back to the auto and conveyed my request… Through the heavy down pour, I could see the a...

  “At the heart of all anger, all grudges and all resentment, you’ll always find a fear that hopes to stay anonymous.” Donald L. Hicks   T here is sense in singing glory to a person when he or she is dead and gone. It makes sense only if we say,   “I love you,”… “Thank you”…   “I am sorry”… etc., when the person is alive and around us. Yesterday, all over the world, Christians observed what is traditionally known as ‘All Souls’ Day’. On this day, we remember our dear and near ones who are no more… We go near their graves and pray… We light candles, place fresh flowers, get overwhelmed and cry… Frankly, this is a powerful experience. If observed meaningfully, it can leave us a lot healed. But, I said, “If observed meaningfully”! When our near and dear ones are alive and around us, we tend to think, that we all are going to be alive and around for a long, long time, if not ‘forever’. So, the thought, that ‘Life is short’, that we should express our lo...