Gerald D'Cunha

  “Some of us are busy doing things; Some of us are busy complaining.” Debasish Mridha   I t was late in the night… around 11 to be precise. In one of the WhatsApp groups, to which I belonged, the Admin made the sad announcement of the demise of   a fellow-member’s father. The deceased was a senior citizen, who had some health issues. But, he was an affectionate soul. As is the case in such situations, the members of the group instantly started posting RIP’s and Om Shanti’s… from all sides. Not even ten minutes had gone by, the Admin made one more announcement… This time, about the shocking demise of a 43-year-old lady. She and her husband were in a critical condition battling Covid. She succumbed. The group members, once again, started posting RIP’s, Om Shanti’s “Shocked!”… “Cant’ Believe”… “Sad” and so on. Not even another five minutes had passed by. A young member, who is a chronic cribber in the group, came out with a very trivial complaint… Instantly anothe...

T he auto rickshaw in which I was returning home, last evening, was caught up in a bad traffic. The driver was an aged man with slow reflexes. At one point, our auto mildly kissed the auto in front when the traffic had come to a halt. The young driver of the auto in front, got off, checked if any damage had happened (not even a scratch except the mild sound that the something had touched his auto from behind) and, started abusing the elderly auto-driver. Our driver calmly explained to him saying that the ‘touching’ was not intentional and, hence, no fuss had to be made about it… But, the young autowala was still furious… By now, the honking from behind had turned incessant… A hefty man on a motorbike, finally, got the young autowala drop the issue and move on… Here, our autowala continued to murmur saying that the young driver was a Smart Alec simply trying to make a mountain out of mole hill through his drama in public… All this while, I did not get provoked… And,...

Pic.: Azriel D'Souza Y ears ago, when I had decided to do something about my poor English, one of the things I did – and found very effective – was telling a nice story in two tenses… the Present and the Past. Over the years, I have helped hundreds of people, who were earnest about improving their English, with the same method… Yes, write a nice story down in both the tenses… and, then, tell it to someone… There are many Mulla Nasruddin stories that make my heart smile. This is one of my favorites… HOW MULLA NASRUDDIN’S WIFE GOT RID OF HIS DONKEY PAST: M ulla Nasruddin's wife hated his donkey.  "I don't want that good-for-nothing donkey in my house... Sell him in the market, or dump him in a pond... But, out he must be, before the Sun, tomorrow, goes down," one night, Mulla's wife gave the ultimatum to her husband.  Mulla, somehow, had a great love for his donkey, though, he too knew that the lazy animal...

Pic.: Anima D'Cunha “Maybe, sometimes, people did not actually change; Maybe, you just never knew who they really were.” - Unknown I f I do not like someone’s behavior and if I genuinely want him to change, then, I must stop reminding him of his so-called bad behavior… stop making him feel guilty, defensive about it. Nobody has ever changed defending his behavior and guilt! If I am genuinely concerned about his behavior and if I truly wish to rejoice in his change, then, it is important on my part to get in touch with my own desperation to point to him – repeatedly – how wrong he is, how flawed… Yes, I must ask this to myself: “Why am I so obsessed with his behavior? Do I really, really want him to change? Do I wish to truly rejoice in his change? Does it help me – leave alone him – if I keep reminding him about his flaws and make him feel defensive and guilty?” The more I point it out to him, the more hardened he becomes… the more...

Pic .: Rajiv Sharma I n life, the lesser I resist, the better for me! And, it applies to, almost, every situation and person in my life... whose presence has become what, in my frustration, I, often, yell out as - ‘a pain in my neck’! Nobody - or nothing - in my life can become a pain in my neck, unless I allow him or it  to be! Yes, people can not eat my head... I allow them to! Situation in life can not destroy my peace... I allow them to! When someone behaves the way I don’t like, I can tell him about it in a dozen different ways... But, in spite of my telling, if his behavior doesn't change, my reaction to it, should. Else, he will continue to dwell in my head as my perennial tormentor, make my head constantly spin... and, most certainly, he will end up becoming that nasty pain in my neck. Or, wherever it is! The troubles in our lives, too, may come uninvited. And, who, in his senses, wants them? Yes, when troubles come, our natural insti...

At the signal, the traffic-cop – they fondly call him in our bambaiyya colorful- bhasha – ‘Mama’ – blows the whistle. The young-man in the Maruti has jumped the signal. The car slows down and stops at quite a distance from the signal… Mama keeps running behind till he reaches the car. The ritual follows: “Give the license…” The receipt book from the pants-pocket and the pen from the shirt-pocket are out…  The young-man has still not come out of his car… He gently cajoles our mama … But, the mama is not pleased… Then, the young-man comes out… Takes our mama on the sides… The negotiations are on… It is clear, the young-man is not having his license, as well… Surely, he must have failed to wear his seat belt, too. Finally, the mandavli is done… You know, what I mean! The young-man is back on road, and off he zooms like a Ferrari… and, our mama is back to his business, at the signal! Meanwhile, the signal must have changed not less than fi...

I just reached my office… just half-an-hour before. I am feeling good about myself.  Well, had I handled that situation the way I normally did, I am sure, it would have robbed me of that ‘good feeling’. Let me tell you what happened. I took an auto near my Society and the young man was taking me without any problem. He was in his world, and I was in mine. Just seconds before he was to take a right turn to enter the by lane that led to my office, his mobile rang. I had already told him ‘Right’ and there were vehicles moving from all directions. His hands instinctively reached his pocket and my heart instinctively cried ‘Don’t take’. I told that in Hindi, "My friend, please don’t take that call. You have to take right… If you make mistake, both of us will die right on this street!" He never heard my cry and so he picked the phone. I gently touched him to indicate him to take towards left and park. Luckily, he did… So far, so good. We were safe! Then, he began to speak t...