Gerald D'Cunha

  “The gem cannot be polished without friction; nor man perfected without trials.” Chinese Proverb   M y wife and I had attended the wedding reception of Chandini, who was my student, ten years ago. Her brother Suraj and their father Prakash – all had been my students, particularly that of the Personality Development programme conducted by The Dawn Club. Chandini’s three cousins, Kanchan, Shradha and Sneha, and even Kanchan’s son Kapil – all of them had been students of these programmes. Yesterday, at the reception, I had the privilege of meeting all of them and several more. I am talking about many students who crossed my path over past forty or so years. Almost all of them, are, now, well-placed in life. And, almost all of them tell me proudly, that they keep talking about me to their young children, who, now, go to the ‘finest schools’ around the world. Shradha, who lives in Netherlands, was so excited to see me, that she, oblivious of the guests around her, was a...

  “If a man is to shed the light of the sun on other men, he must, first of all, have it within himself.” Romain Rolland   L ast evening, I was talking to (over the phone) one of my very old students, now a dear friend. He is in his mid-fifties and, for many years, he has been working and living in Singapore. “Sir, I am heading the risk-management team in this global bank. But, every time I address my subordinates, I remind them this: ‘Your fundamentals matter... be them subject-related, or be them values-related.” When I asked him if he was in touch with his schoolmates and friends, my friend said, that he was in touch with all of them for a long time till the emergence of social media platforms. But, when he saw how they – once his close friends - started venting out publicly their polarizing, hate-filled views in the WhatsApp and other social-media groups, he decided to stay away from all social-media groups. “Many of them have so hardened, that they are best le...

  “I do not ask the wounded person how he feels; I myself become the wounded person.” Walt Whitman   T his woman is a parent of my two students. They are twins and are in class 12. Her husband is a drunkard. He is chronically insecure and doesn’t go out to work, nor does he let his wife to go out and work. They live in a rented place in a chawl , from where she earns a small amount by taking tuitions for a few students. There have been constant fights at home, including physical abuse. Every day, the struggle is a new one... The need of money being the heaviest burden to carry... L ast morning, I received this message from the woman: “Good morning Sir. As my husband is at home, I am unable to call you. So, I am texting you. I have to pay you Rs. 2,500 towards kids’ PD classes. As you know, Sir, my financial situation is not good. I haven’t paid my rent and the landlord is putting pressure on me to vacate. I told my father, that I have to pay Rs.10,000 for kids’ f...

  “On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own buttocks.” Michel de Montaigne   A ttentive listening has another name: Humility. Putting it in another way, we cannot pay complete attention, unless we listen with a desire to learn… and, for that, we need to drop our guards, our defenses, our judgements. In fact, the thought, that ‘We know’ blocks us from absorbing the good lessons from others… Often, we listen with an intention to defend our positions… We are ready with our responses even before the other person has completed his statements… We are busy judging the other person… We are busy proving our knowledge… We seem to get a strange kick in being right… “I will not utter a word unless you look up and listen to me completely,” I said, once again, this morning, to couple of my students, “Your eyes listen better than your ears do.” From my decades of teaching experience, I have realized this: Attentive listening stems from our desire to le...

  “What a teacher is, is more important than what he teaches.” Karl Menninger   I was talking to one of my overseas ex-students, this morning. During the conversation, this dear old student, with all his good heart, was suggesting to me to expand my reach by doing this and doing that… a   dozen ideas he dished out in a few minutes. I humbly heard him out… Thanked him profusely… Then, I said to myself this: “I am presently burning with this idea… Let me only do ‘this’… and not ‘that’.” I have seen, from my experience, that to keep the flame of your own ideas burning is very, very important. People around you, particularly when they are not of any help to you, have ideas to offer… ‘Do this and do that’… No Sir, we should only do ‘this’… T oday is Teachers' Day… I have been receiving scores of messages… obviously, very generous, very kind words. But, as Life teaches us to value things and people only later in life, many of my students have sent their touching t...

  “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” Pablo Picasso   I n last two weeks, I have personally visited, or consulted (over the phone), at least   half-a-dozen specialist doctors in connection with my wife’s health. Well, these doctors, as I said, are specialists and extremely busy people. People wait patiently for their turn to come, at times, for hours… That’s why they are called ‘patients’… Patience! “I can think, I can wait, I can fast”… I remembered Siddhartha’s famous reply to the question – “What work can you do best?” I am talking about the protagonist in Hermann Hesse’s famous novel ‘Siddhartha’ (and the movie by he same name starring Shashi Kapoor and Simi Garewal).The wanderer monk, Siddhartha’, was hired because of this response – “I can think, I can fast and I can wait.” L ate last night, one of my old students called me. “Sir, I am your ex-student, Siddharth Punjabi,” he introduced himself. Then, he e...

  “There are, obviously, two educations: One should teach us how to make a living, and the other, how to live.” James T. Adama   I   see, both, respect for time and respect for food, are correlated. To go even further – many other things are correlated, too… There are these two young boys in my class. Their academic year is almost over. But, I have never been able to make them come ‘on time’, leave alone ‘before time’. I have used all possible motivational tricks in my arsenal… gentle words, harsh words, love and anger… No. Nothing has worked. Their favorite excuse for reaching late is - ‘stuck in the traffic’. First time, one can understand… But, every time ‘stuck in the traffic’? “Will they accept this reason at the airport? Will the airplane wait for Your Majesty?” “Will they accept this reason on the day of your Board exam? Will they wait for you, or give extra time to complete your paper?” “Will the surgeon and his team wait for you on the operati...