Gerald D'Cunha

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” Bette Midler A while ago, a middle-aged man had come to meet me. He wanted some help, in one of the subjects, for his college-going daughter. I knew this man’s family… Parents were no more. He had two younger brothers. When I enquired about them, this man became very emotional… He narrated to me, in detail, how relationship between him and his two younger brothers had gone sour over the years. They lived in a small chawl, barely of ten-by-twenty size. He described to me as to how his two brothers had succeeded to bifurcate that place into three parts, and how the conflict had been erupting over everything – water-connection, electricity, property-tax, kitchen and, movement of people. “They have, even, poisoned the minds of their little children,” the man said, “Little ones are not allowed to come over to our side or talk to any of us.” Last time I had met this man, he had told me about a small shop (j...

Pic.: Varsha Chitnis Junnarkar “You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.” - Gary Allan T his is the truth… No matter who I am, I do feel jealous of someone – someone better than me – in life. Rejoicing in other people’s success is a wonderful remedy for my sickness called Jealousy. Yes, I know it is. But, to me, rejoicing in other peoples’ success doesn’t come first… That, the other person is ‘my own’ – yes, this thought doesn’t come first… That, his success is my own, his happiness is my own… yes, all these amazing thoughts don’t come first, to me. To me, what comes first is: that, the other person is different, his success and happiness are not my own… that, when he succeeds, I lose… that, when he is praised, I feel sad, isolated! My jealousy comes from my insecurity, my fear and lack. It comes from my low self-esteem. When seen from a spiritual perspective, jealousy comes from my ignorance… poor self-knowledge… So, today, I wo...

Pic.: Daniel Pinto “Y ou need a thick skin to be in politics.” Often, I hear people saying this. And, I tend to agree with it, too. But, then, as I go about my life, I do realize, that it is necessary to have a thick skin not just in politics - i.e., in party politics – but, everywhere else, too... I need a thick skin everywhere... where I have to deal with people... where I have to take decisions relating to money, buying and selling... where I have to deal with administration, management and so on... Where I have to deal with egoes, insecurities and jealousy... Where I have to deal with communication issues... So, I need a thick skin while dealing with my business associates – my partners, suppliers, customers, government agencies, staff, superiors, competitors and so on... I need a thick skin while dealing with my housing-society committee-members or the general-members... I need a thick skin while dealing with my religious community – the priests and ...

One morning, in the summer of 2007, Apurv Verma, who was one of my students in 1983-84, just appeared before me in my office. I was pleasantly surprised to see him after so many years.   When Apurv came to me, I was putting together an inspirational book titled – ‘The Cheetah’ to be released in June that year. I knew someone would appear, from nowhere, to help me up financially. My heart opened up before my dear student, and Apurv, who was then a Vice President of one of the multinationals, said ‘yes’ without even blinking. So, on June 10, 2007, on the annual Graduation day of THE DAWN CLUB students, we held a book-releasing ceremony. During the function, I put my arm around Apurv and spoke fondly about him to the audience. In response, he spoke kindly about me and, showed every one two books that had left a great impact on his life. He had brought a copy of each book to gift me, and he spoke something about the books and their author. ...

Two days ago, I had posted an article – ‘The Sky Is Falling’. I had narrated an incident, where I had led a delegation of about twenty respected-members of our Society to the local Police station. I was the Society Chairman, and, that night, I had passionately argued our case before that biased and unfair Police Officer. I had used my raw emotions - all charged-up – and, it had carried the desired effect. We had come back with justice done to us.  But then, I had lost my sleep, that night. The emotional turmoil within had taken its toll. So, in that article, I had spoken about our senior-member Mr. Harwadekar’s concern about me; his loving advice – “Gerry, even if the sky falls on you, you should not panic… you should remain calm… You should not let emotions take the better off you.”  I had humbly taken this advice. And yes, I had confessed it in that post, the next morning.  No baggage left in my soul… I was healed, completely! Th...

A skinny fellow is desperately trying to woo a pretty girl. In the middle of his frantic efforts, another - not so great-looking - guy comes in the picture ... The pretty babe is all floored! The next moment, you see her cosing up with this intruder ... while our 'devdas' is left kicking in the air, screaming his lungs out: "WHAT IS THAT HE HAS ... THAT I DON'T?" The camera zooms in on 'that' thing: 'The winner's underwear'! I do not know how many, today, remember this TV ad of a famous underwear manufacturer. But, I still do ... because, I used to simply love it! They say: When you fall in love, you turn pink; when angry, you turn red; when scared, you turn yellow ... and, when you are jealous, you go green. This article is about going green ... The ecstasy and agony of being jealous of someone. "Woman, thy name is envy," when Shakespeare said it, years ago, I wasn't born. Otherwise, he wouldn't have done that blunder of invi...

"All our lives, we just do three things: We stand, we sit or we lie down," says Byron Katie. "Rest is all a 'story' we make around it." 'Loving What Is', Mrs. Katie's path-breaking book, is one of my all-time favourites. Each time I am stressed out chasing my goals, each time I become overwhelmed by the perennial anxiety that runs through my search, I open the book and hear her say this: "Honey, relax ... Give me one stress-free reason to keep, to hold on to, your beliefs about Success, your story." I find none. And, I am, immediately, relaxed. Right now, I am 'sitting' and writing this blog piece. I have not premeditated on what I have to write, nor have I fantasised about its success, popularity, money, awards - and all that which Mrs. Katie brands as 'story around the concept of success'. I am just flowing with my heart's yearnings, with no concept whatsoever, no expectations, no strings attached to my pursuit. It...