Gerald D'Cunha

  “When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” ―  Maya Angelou   O ne of my childhood memories, which, often, flash before me -– particularly when I try to navigate through the darkness, both, physical and metaphorical –- is that of uncle Gilbert, who lived in our neighbourhood in Mangalore. It was the mid-sixties; I must’ve been a kid of age 7 or 8. There was no electricity in our houses… The kaccha lane, that led to our parish church, was pitch dark in the nights… The lane was untarred, rough and uneven. Uncle Gilbert, who was in his late thirties or early forties, lived halfway through this lane. He was fully blind. Yet, he would never miss a single mass or church prayer service, be it during the day, or be it during the night. With the help of his stick, he managed to go to church, and come back on his own, every single day. Many times, some of us, including little kids, would offer our hands and walk with him. He would keep us engaged...

  “Anxiety doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.” Charles Spurgeon   W e all need reminders every night when we go to bed… that, despite all our problems, there is something we need to thank God for… that, our problems are very small compared to so many in this world who go to bed with every night… Yes, we all forget to look at the blessings of God and only end up getting overwhelmed by our problems. ‘Thank you God’ doesn’t come to us easily… ‘Why me?’ … ‘Poor me’… yes, these complaints always come easily. L ast night, when I was about to retire, I happened to see two things… One was the report of my routine blood and other tests. Well, just as my students and their parents get anxious on receiving those unpleasant remarks in the progress report, some of the remarks in my lab-report weren’t pleasant… The anxiety was slowly coming over me… Many unnecessary thoughts, to be precise… “What if that happens, this happens?”… and s...

  “I am not a win-at-all-cost guy. Winning isn’t everything… It’s second to breathing.” George Steinbrenner   W inning gives me, too, thrills; but, not ‘winning at all cost’… Winning at all cost gives me chills! Last night, I watched the (2011) English film – ‘Butter’ (on OTT). Frankly, I hadn’t heard about this film before. Even more, I hadn’t heard about an art called ‘Butter Carving’, leave alone a competition in this art… In the film, Bob Pickler is a master butter-carver and is an unbeaten champion for fifteen years. On the advice of a senior jury member, Bob decides to quit competing, so that others get a fair chance to win… But, Laura, the ambitious and aggressive wife of Bob, is angry at her husband’s decision. Bob tries to reason it out with Laura, but fails. Finally, Laura (whose only credential as a butter-carver is her total support to Bob over fifteen years) announces, that she is going to compete and win ‘at any cost’… that’s by any means. So, at ...

  “How a person wins or loses is much more important  than how much a person wins or loses.” Tom Krause   “S ir, is there a class today?” Mehul’s* mother asked me, half-an-hour before the class. “Yes Ma’am, there is,” I replied, “In fact, they are expected to write a Test, today.” “My son is glued to the T.V.,” the mother updated the position at home, “He is expecting India to win the Semi Finals.” I was surprised to see Mehul in the class five minutes before the Test time… “What happened to the match?” I asked… I was not following this World Cup series, and I didn’t even know, that it was the Semi Finals yesterday, and Pakistan team was already in Finals… Mehul seemed visibly shattered… That’s when I guessed, that our team had lost… Mehul is 17. I have been seeing this mega disappointment for years before Mehul was born… When India loses to Pakistan, it’s just not palatable… “How can we lose to Pakistan?” is the painful question… “It’s okay if we lose; ...

  “Problems are not big or small. It is based on how big or small your understanding is.” J. Tisa   T he more we worry about what’s happening in others’ lives, the more we invite turmoil in our own. When I say, ‘others’, I mean not our dearest and the nearest ones. When there is turmoil in the lives of our dearest and the nearest ones, we just cannot brush it aside, saying ‘It’s their problem’. They are our own; hence, their problems bother us… weigh us down. When ‘others’ are not our dearest and the nearest ones, well, their problems do not weigh us down. When they narrate their problems to us, we do not involve emotionally, instead, just superficially. Not so? Disagree? Well, I agree, that all of us may not react to others’ problems in an identical manner. But, we realize the thresholds of our limits… We realize, how much stress we are able to withstand… and, we learn what and when to let others’ problems be. Experience teaches us this: The more we focus on others’ business ...

  “Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” Abraham Lincoln   I PL games are thrillers, action-packed. But, what I am amused most about these games – oddly, you may say – is this concept of ‘Strategic Time Out’. Presently each side – the bowling and batting side – gets two-and-half minutes as STO to reformulate their strategy, mid-game. Fans may complain, saying it ruins the flow of the game… Critics may complain, saying that’s a smart way of generating more revenue from commercials. But, whoever says whatever, I think, in Life, everything that is fast and furious needs these priceless STO’s… As kids, we called them ‘Recesses’ in our school; didn’t we? The school life was a grueling one, right? Think of the concept of sleep, siesta, cat-naps and power-naps? What are all these for? Why are there retreats in every religion and culture? Why do people take breaks… go on a vacation? Life is hectic… Fast and furi...

  “We forget that life isn’t as bad as we are making it out to be. We also forget that when we blow things out of proportion, we are the ones doing the blowing.” Dr. Richard Carlson   I t’s very difficult to tide over the ‘big stuff’ in life, unless and until we learn to tide over the ‘small stuff’. Now, what I may refer, here, to be ‘small stuff’, may not be ‘small’ for you, and vice versa. Most of us tend to lose perspective when faced with small irritations in life… We tend to ‘react’ without even   waiting to take the next breath. In the process, we blow it all out of proportion… We end up making mountains out of the molehills, as the old saying goes. The ability to pause before we ‘respond’ is, rightly, the definition of the word ‘Responsibility’… Our ability to respond. It helps us react less to what happens to us in our daily life… to every small, little thing. We are able to stand back – stand aside – and see the ‘small stuff’ as only that – a ‘sma...

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go A little high, little low Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me - From the Freddie Mercury song 'Bohemian Rhapsody' E lvis Presley, John Lennon, Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury… I have adored them all. They were all the ultimate showmen… electrifying on stage… Stupendously larger-than-life cult-figures. If a singer’s success and stardom, as a performer, has to be measured against any bench-marks, certainly, here are those bench-marks! But, then, just as so many of Shakespeare’s best-loved classics are great tragedies, the dizzy lives of Elvis, Lennon, Jackson and Freddie have been just that - colossal tragedies! If the end justifies the means, I, for one, ...

L ong before I started blogging, I had been writing down my daily Notes in dairies… I used to write them down along with the date and I continued to do it for years and years. So, I have them written down in scores of dairies! And, what did I write in them? That’s interesting! My problems, my anxieties, my anger, my jealousy, my fears, my longings and frustrations, my hopes and despair, my resolves and my cowardice… Well, I learnt early not to disown anything in life… If they were my feelings, then, I had to capture them as they were – and as much as possible to be honest about them… That experience had been very therapeutic, very healing and empowering… Incidentally, whenever someone read them, they would exclaim, “So beautiful… So reassuring!” Blogging happened some ten years ago… and, what I did in my dairies; I did, now, on my PC… But, Notes remained Notes… My feelings remained my feelings… My objective remained the same old one: to help me heal myself! ...