Gerald D'Cunha

Pic.:Nishtha Narryani W hy do we try to ‘please’ others? Our personality trait of trying to please others is, certainly, not a healthy trait. For, it does not stem from our healthy self-esteem. Most of the times, we end up emerging hurt and abused by those who we are trying to please, so desperately. What about being gentle, dignified and graceful in our behavior towards others? When you are an approachable person, when you allow people to freely voice their complaints, when you listen to them with kindness... does it all mean you are trying to please them? Not at all! Being gentle and approachable, being patient and kind, are the finest traits which stem from our healthy self-esteem. Yes, when you are approachable, people may call you at odd hours, and they may drop in at any time of the day. But, with your gentleness and assertive strength, you can, always, handle this fall out. Similarly, if you are patient and if you...

There is no need for any of us here, on this earth, to pretend! There is no need to be anxious. No need to desperately impress some one… Yes, no need to over do, over sell… show off. Rest assured! How to sell yourself? How to leave the best impression? Well, the subject sounds quite fascinating.  Many believe that to sell yourself well, you have to walk into someone’s cabin - like a Tycoon… Once in, all that you have to do is: place on his table your BMW keys along with your sleek Blackberry. The rest will follow! There is some truth in what is being believed here. “Jo diktha hai, who  bikta hai.”   Yes, to sell, you have to show…  Therefore, they show in style! Hoping that it will help them sell… Believing that, selling is very, very important! Selling is, in deed, very important. But, I believe, we should sell ‘substance’ more than the ‘style’. And, to sell ‘substance’, we should possess it, in the fi...

F inally, whose well-being am I Supposed to be concerned with? I still battle with this issue. Sometimes I think I am responsible To make another person happy… So, I try… I tell the person, “I care for you; I love you more than I can say.” I feel very fulfilled When what I say makes the other person his day. “Thank you dear… It means a lot, means the world to me!" he says. And, when I hear that... I simply go crazy like a babe! But, then, I have this part of me Which is not happy with what I am doing… I get a nagging feeling inside, That I am doing all this at the cost of My own well-being… If it was not so, why should I feel the discomfort? Why should I feel the suffocation? Why should I feel the anxiety - Whether I will be able to Keep the other person happy, always? Why do I feel angry When he is oblivious of my well-being… my little world? Can I make another happy, always? Is it my business? I am a pleaser… Som...