Sunday, December 11, 2011


Finally, whose well-being am I

Supposed to be concerned with?

I still battle with this issue.

Sometimes I think I am responsible

To make another person happy…

So, I try… I tell the person,

“I care for you; I love you more than I can say.”

I feel very fulfilled

When what I say makes the other person his day.

“Thank you dear…

It means a lot, means the world to me!" he says.

And, when I hear that... I simply go crazy like a babe!

But, then, I have this part of me

Which is not happy with what I am doing…

I get a nagging feeling inside,

That I am doing all this at the cost of

My own well-being…

If it was not so, why should I feel the discomfort?

Why should I feel the suffocation?

Why should I feel the anxiety -

Whether I will be able to

Keep the other person happy, always?

Why do I feel angry

When he is oblivious of my well-being…

my little world?

Can I make another happy, always?

Is it my business?

I am a pleaser… Some of my well-wishers tell me…

I try to do too much… too much to please.

They point out to me that

It will be like a bottomless hell…

A self-destroying rescue mission!

I am aware what it does to my confidence…

My self-esteem.

I know, it is too much of a strain on me

To make another person happy in his life.

I ask, then, this question:

Who has taken upon him the rescue mission

To make me happy for all my life?

My spouse?

My parents?

My children?

My friends?

My boy friend or my girl friend?

I am a pleaser, they remind me…

The one who doesn’t have enough self-confidence!

I just can’t swallow this…

No, I can not.

Lord, take everything else away from me…

But, leave behind for me my self-confidence, I pray.

Teach me how not to please another outside…

When my heart bleeds inside.

Teach me Lord to nurture my own yearning heart first…

With all the self-care.

Teach me to be confident…

And then share it with someone who needs my hand.

Teach me the difference between

Caring for someone with love and doing it with fear and need…

The fear of losing…

The need of clinging.

Who is supposed to keep me happy in my life?

Who is supposed to do it for him?



Anonymous said...

Like the snow in this picture!!!

Felt very good, very relieved after reading.

I am a 'champion pleaser', every one says!


Gerald D'Cunha said...

We are all 'mini champions'... if not 'great ones' in this game, my fiend.



Anonymous said...

Simple answer to the Q posed in your caption : 'No one but you'.
How do u do it ? - ' by finding work/play that excites you and that you can immerse yourself in'
By product of doing this : Self esteem/ self confidence and an open heart that can care and share bcos it is secure
Effect on the others around you :They grow in their own personal quest too !

The key is interdependence not dependence or independence


Gerald D'Cunha said...

Hi Jen., thanks for ur excellent inputs.
I liked the angle u have provided... In fact I am planning to build on that later, today...


Keep helping me,


Vikas Prajapati said...
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Vikas Prajapati said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vikas Prajapati said...

Thank you Sir,

This is too good.....i m really waiting for this topic.I feel so happy to read this.

I try every possibility to make My teachers,friends,Colleges and Relatives happy and i feel so good to see them happy.

But sir, i always have fear of loosing my loved ones, Really...!

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Hi Vikas, happy u read my blog regularly.

Yes, be aware of what is happening inside...
The outside will fall in place, by itself!

Love life... Love passionately, Vikas!

Love, SIR

Girish Dhameja said...

Once I have told you that i have to keep everyone happy and i feel like a clown and you told me that its ok you feel like a clown but you are a clown in glory.....
If a monk has to keep other people happy then best thing is he should sell his ferari and be himself happy. After all mango will grow from a seed of mango only.

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Yes Girish, a mango will tree will grow from a seed of a mono alone!

How true.

Thanks for the perspective.

Love, SIR