Gerald D'Cunha

    “I love, that this morning’s sunrise does not define itself by last night’s sunset.” Steve Maraboli A week ago, a friend of mine shared some lovely pictures of his nephew’s wedding. It was a private ceremony held at the beautiful lawns of his sister Irene’s home in New Zealand. The boy, Vivan, was dating his sweetheart (a Kiwi) for several years. Finally, now, the two families had brought it to, what seemed like, the logical conclusion - a marriage. I messaged Irene: “Hello Irene, just saw some amazing pictures of Vivan’s wedding. So happy for the young couple, you parents and the entire family. Please convey our love, wishes and blessings to the newly-wedded . You all look so nice and happy!” Came the instant reply from Irene: “Thank you Gerry. All went well. I’m so glad it’s all over. Big relief!” My response was this: “HaHa! Madam, for mothers, it’s never going to be over. Dashing   Nivan (the second son) is all set for his turn. So, be ready.” ...

  “You may be the sweetest peach on the tree; but, some people just don’t like peaches.” Unknown   T he thought that I am liked and admired by others   – the things that I do, like my teaching and writing, are liked and appreciated by them, yes, it is the nourishment for my healthy self-esteem. I do not think, that anyone in this world can truly feel efficient, happy and peaceful without being liked and appreciated by many – if not by all. I had to add that rider clause – ‘If not by all’! And, that’s the essence of today’s Post: “Hello, you may be the sweetest peach on the tree; but, some people just don’t like peaches!” How reliving these words are! A lmost all of us have built the edifice of our self-esteem on this foundation - of being liked and appreciated by others. Where this foundation is weak, the edifice of self-esteem is weak as well. But, we just can’t expect everyone to press the ‘like button’. There will be some – significant or insignificant ...

“But, wishes are only granted in fairy tales.” Simone Elkeles T he reason why some tales are called ‘Fairy Tales’ is, because, they, always, end with this wonderful ending: ‘And they lived happily ever after’! If Fairies don’t exist, how can you expect to live happily ever after? They both exist only in our childish fantasies… Often, meant to put us to sleep! Some thirty-odd years ago – yes, I was a young man then – a very experienced and elderly teacher pointed to a casual phrase I had written and asked me, ‘What do you mean by this?” The phrase was ‘Lasting Happiness’! I, instantly, found myself stumped! Before it was too late, I pulled out that weed from my vocabulary. Since then, to me, ‘Happiness’ – yes, it does exist. ‘Lasting Happiness’ – No, it doesn’t! Just as Fairies… Just as that mirage of living happily ever after! I think, the Pursuit of Happiness should be a pursuit in this real world… Not in the ‘other world’… the world of Fairies! ...

“Grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s green where you water it.” Anonymous W hat is the actual meaning of the proverb – ‘Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence’? Probably, almost every school kid has written an essay or composition on this proverb. When I did, our ‘lawn’ – call it ‘our situation’ – wasn’t green at all. If you take the statement literally, you may laugh: Mangalore is lush green, particularly in a month like July. So, you would never leave this place if you go by the greenery of the land; you would leave it, only because, that - I mean 'Green' -  is, was and will be, always, the colour of the money – the financial situation! Almost all of us – no matter on which side of the fence we live – are programmed to stretch our necks out and envy the greenery of our ‘neighbour’s lawns’. In a way, this tendency has kept all of us working harder to keep up with – and even beat – our neighbours. Remember the famous ad o...

“There is always more goodness in the world than there appears to be, because, goodness, by its very nature, is modest and retiring.” Evelyn Beatrice Hall T o me, it’s nearly four months inside my house. I hadn’t just stepped out of door. Just yesterday, early in the morning, I stepped out, along with my wife, to take a few breaths of fresh air, and, yes, a few walking steps… It felt as though I was learning to walk again, and breathe again! But, I was sternly instructed by my wife and son, not to touch anything, including my own nose and mouth (which, anyway, were hidden behind my mask), not to sit anywhere. And, as soon as we were home, went all my clothes into the washing machine… and, after my heart settled down, went I for a bath! “What a horrible way to live!” that’s my honest reaction, “I was angry and frustrated for a while!” M any of you may be thinking, that I am a very positive, very zestful person. You’re wrong! I experience eve...

“When you are scared, you stay as you are.” Stephen Richards T he other day, while talking on the phone, a woman asked me this question: “How do you keep yourself positive, always?” “Who told you that?” I replied, “If alone you knew how negative I feel right now!” Then, I added three emojis – a gentle smile, a crazy laugh and a warm heart! I sincerely wanted to tell the woman this: “My friend, I am just like you… I experience every emotion under the Sun and the Stars… Sometimes, I feel like an eagle, and, sometimes, I also feel like a frightened dove. I do think, sometimes, that I have all the answers in Life, and, I sometimes, I also think, that I am clueless about everything!” The woman on the other end wasn’t convinced at all. She seems to have convinced herself, that there are some people in this world who ‘always’ keep themselves positive. So, she said, “Your Posts give me a feeling, that you are a real positive person.” ...

“If it doesn’t challenge you,  it doesn’t change you.” Fred Devito “S ir, are you scared of Corona Virus?” asked my student, Vikram* while talking to me over the phone. After being in a lockdown for over two months, and knowing clearly that it’s been extended for a month more – seeing clearly, 24/7, what is happening all across the world - here is my boy, asking me casually, “Sir, are you scared of Corona Virus?” “Yes” or “No”? “What about you?” I threw the question back at Vikram. “No Sir,” my student replied without even waiting to catch his next breath. “Where are you now, beta?” I asked even though I knew where he was. “At home, Sir.” “At home, where?” “In my bedroom.” “Is the AC on?” “Yes Sir.” “Where is brother?” “In his room, Sir.” “Mom and dad?” “Mom is in the hall room, dad in his room.” “All the ACs are on? The fridge is well-stocked?” By now, my boy knew, that I was being sarcastic. He jus...

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” -       Christopher Reeve -         W e all are sailing in the same boat, now. Yes, our President, Prime Minister and Mukesh Ambani included… The Pope, The Super Powers and The Super Stars included. And, whether we sail this rough sea aboard our Titanics or village boats, the storm doesn’t ask who we are… Just as Werner Erhard said, “If you stand in the rain, you get wet, whether we understand water or not.” What ‘is’ is what ‘is’… Not what we want it to be… Not how we want it to be. That’s why, the early we learn not to argue with the reality, the peaceful our hearts will be. Byron Katie keeps reminding us, “Sweethearts, we don’t get to vote on reality.” Just as the plight in which we all – yes The Presidents, The Prime Ministers, The Bill Gates, The Jack Mas, The Ambanis and The Adanis, The Tom Hanks, Bachchans and Rajnikants, you,  ...

Pic.: Usha Prasadh ”If the room is dark for twenty years, it doesn’t take another twenty years to bring light in.” - Sri Sri Ravishankar T here is no direct road to heaven… No short-cut, no express-ways or flyovers… and, certainly there are no ‘freeways’… The road to heaven ‘has to be’ through this world – through its plateaus, plains and mountains… through its jungles and deserts, rivers and seas… through its conflicts, sorrows, joys and  jubilation … None of, here, wants life to be tough. But, the life ‘is’ tough. All of us want our problems to go, once and for all. But, they don’t. The more we try to shut ourselves from the problems and sufferings of this world, the more and more they come to haunt us… Closing our eyes to the reality of this world will not help us… Opening our eyes to them, will! Prince Siddhartha’s father, the King, did not want his little son to see and experience the problems and sufferings of the wo...