Pic.: Mehul Bhuva
When I was in high school,
I, always, worried about my tenth-standard Board-exam…
It went on peacefully!
When I was in college,
I worried about my final-year Degree-exam…
It, also, went on peacefully!
When I was out of my college,
I was worried about getting a job…
I got one!
When my classmates went ahead of me,
I was worried again – “Will I ever catch-up with them?”
I didn’t have a house of my own… my worry shifted.
House came up… I worried about a car!
For a very, very long time,
I started worrying about my marriage –
“It may fail… I may not be good at sex…
My spouse may mock at me, my deficiency…”
This, also, went on peacefully!
Then, the child was born… a boy, and, then, a girl.
I started worrying again – about their future!
They grew up… got educated and married.
I started worrying about my grand-children - their troubles!
I have, now, started worrying about my old-age…
“What may happen if my spouse dies; if I die?”
Well, what will happen?
Nothing had happened just because I worried once,
except that I spoiled my sleep, my peace of mind.
If my spouse dies, tomorrow, won’t I be able to take care of myself?
If I die, well, she better learn to take care of herself!
The house that I have built, someone else is going to get…
The car that I once bought, I can’t even drive now,
leave alone its condition!
There is more to marriage than sex, the ‘success on the bed’!
The children that I bore, have gone on their own… absolutely free!
The money that I, once, worried about, came and went…
Whatever is left, I will not be able to take!
Then, what am I worried about?
Why am I afraid to walk into my tomorrows?
The grass under my feet is green – I can’t see…
The sky over my head is blue – I can’t see…
The shower that I take is cool – I can’t feel…
The body that I embrace is warm – I can’t feel…
Neither do I know the taste of the morsels I take,
Nor do I experience the gentle touch of the air
passing trough my nostrils…
WORRY IS AN OLD HABIT…
AND, OLD HABITS DIE HARD!
‘THE COBWEBS’ was one of the popular booklets I had written and published for THE DAWN CLUB in its early years. It was first published in 1991. Once again, what made this book connect with the readers was that it spoke in first person… The passages – some twelve of them - seemed straight from one’s own heart, they sounded like one’s own voice…
This passage – ‘WORRY’ – is one of the popular passages from the book – ‘THE COBWEBS’.