WHEN I SEE MYSELF REACTING







Pic.: Amrita Jeurkar

When I see myself reacting, I feel very disturbed…  No matter how much I try justifying from outside, I know how it feels from inside!

Reacting comes from my loss of self-control. Which means, someone else is controlling me… my actions, my words, my behavior. And, to see someone else manipulating me, like a toy, is not a pleasant experience to live by…

Slowing down helps… Consciously slowing down. When I consciously stand aside and allow another person’s comments to ‘be’… Just allow them to ‘be’… without attaching any meaning to them, without interpreting them, magnifying them… read through them… making a dramatic story out of what is being said… Yes, by not allowing someone’s words assume that epic proportion… by keeping my two feet firmly planted on the ground and my head firmly planted on my shoulders… a lot can be achieved in terms of my mental hygiene…

Other people make their own choices. No matter how desperately I try to change them, prevail upon them… it is, finally, left to them to change… My mental hygiene is my responsibility… and, I must strive to attain it, at any cost…

I have added a great deal of stress in my life by taking responsibility for other people’s actions and behavior… When this truth stares at me, and, I decide to let go my need to step into someone else’s business, I, instantly, experience my inner peace…  As an experiment, I tried it today in one of my morning batches… “No matter what might have repeatedly put me off and provoked about my young students,” I resolved in my heart, “today - at least for this one hour - I will not allow the same behavior of my students disturb me… put me off… provoke. I will allow the behavior of my students ‘be’… I will see it, detached, from a distance… I will mean good for them, be compassionate towards them… I will use kind words… words of faith, trust, good intention… I will not hand them the keys of my peace of mind…”

Letting go of my need to see how the world outside should be… how other people should behave, talk, think and so on… is the simple key to my mental hygiene… People around me will behave exactly the way they want to behave… not the way I want them to behave...

This is the eternal truth… but, it comes wrapped in every present moment. So, if this moment is well-handled, the eternity will be handled well on its own…

I can feel the peace. The power!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MUTHU KODI KAWARI HADA

Image
Pic.; Ashwin Mohta M y Hindi was always bad. It still is. One reason for this was, that they introduced Hindi for us only in 6 th standard. Or, was it in 8 th ? I don’t remember… I only remember struggling to write and read… leave alone speak! But, I loved Hindi movies, and, strangely, I could understand the dialogues and the lyrics of the songs… I used to sing those songs (of course when no one was around me!) as if I was the lyricist… One of the songs was a very funny one. ‘Muthu Kodi Kawari Hada’. It was from Mehmood’s super-hit comedy – ‘Do Phool’. I was a 15-year-old high-school boy when I had heard that song (not watched the movie). I could grasp the meaning of two words – ‘Muthu Kodi’… which meant ‘Give kiss’… But, what ‘Kawari Hada’ meant, I have no clue till date! It was just like ‘Why this kolaveri di’... Yes, why ask? Simply enjoy the beats… And, the beats are great… The rest... Who cares? Really! So, whatever bit of Hi
Read more

"HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS NOT A FAIRY-TALE... IT IS A CHOICE"

Image
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone… It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. Le Guin,  The Lathe of Heaven T welve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’…  Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’! I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise! B efore I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it… The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or painful that
Read more

SELLING MIRRORS IN THE CITY OF THE BLIND

Image
“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.” - Kabir T here is a universal human weakness – and it dates back to the days of fallen civilizations – and it is: to place people on pedestal and trying to be smothered by them, feel loved and protected in their company… worship them as mentors, heroes,  gurus, Mahagurus and Satgurus… Make these mortals larger-than-life cut-outs, worship them as flawless, pure and give one’s all… And, then, ‘take’ everything from them blindly as divine… Give everything to them blindly… Eventually, what happens is:  one more dangerous bondage… What was supposed to free you now becomes a new prison… It’s sad to see this happen! T his room, where I am writing this Post, has no image of any deity. I have no image of any Guru or Master around me… My question is: “Am I not able to feel close to Almighty God?  How does it matter
Read more
THE WILD, WAYSIDE FLOWERS
There is, always, something extra-ordinary in the wild, wayside flowers...