WHEN I SEE MYSELF REACTING







Pic.: Amrita Jeurkar

When I see myself reacting, I feel very disturbed…  No matter how much I try justifying from outside, I know how it feels from inside!

Reacting comes from my loss of self-control. Which means, someone else is controlling me… my actions, my words, my behavior. And, to see someone else manipulating me, like a toy, is not a pleasant experience to live by…

Slowing down helps… Consciously slowing down. When I consciously stand aside and allow another person’s comments to ‘be’… Just allow them to ‘be’… without attaching any meaning to them, without interpreting them, magnifying them… read through them… making a dramatic story out of what is being said… Yes, by not allowing someone’s words assume that epic proportion… by keeping my two feet firmly planted on the ground and my head firmly planted on my shoulders… a lot can be achieved in terms of my mental hygiene…

Other people make their own choices. No matter how desperately I try to change them, prevail upon them… it is, finally, left to them to change… My mental hygiene is my responsibility… and, I must strive to attain it, at any cost…

I have added a great deal of stress in my life by taking responsibility for other people’s actions and behavior… When this truth stares at me, and, I decide to let go my need to step into someone else’s business, I, instantly, experience my inner peace…  As an experiment, I tried it today in one of my morning batches… “No matter what might have repeatedly put me off and provoked about my young students,” I resolved in my heart, “today - at least for this one hour - I will not allow the same behavior of my students disturb me… put me off… provoke. I will allow the behavior of my students ‘be’… I will see it, detached, from a distance… I will mean good for them, be compassionate towards them… I will use kind words… words of faith, trust, good intention… I will not hand them the keys of my peace of mind…”

Letting go of my need to see how the world outside should be… how other people should behave, talk, think and so on… is the simple key to my mental hygiene… People around me will behave exactly the way they want to behave… not the way I want them to behave...

This is the eternal truth… but, it comes wrapped in every present moment. So, if this moment is well-handled, the eternity will be handled well on its own…

I can feel the peace. The power!

GERALD D’CUNHA

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