Gerald D'Cunha

Pic.: Alex D. “What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.” - Ellen Glasgow T he other person is ‘different’ from how I am… because, he has gone through life-experiences totally different from mine. So, his behavior stems from his beliefs which have been formed through his unique life-experiences…  And, my behavior stems from the beliefs which have been formed through my own life-experiences. Yesterday,  almost the entire day, I was emotion-driven… anxious, worried, scared and gloomy. Today, I find myself predominantly reason-driven… There is a lot of cheer in me, a lot of peppy and jovial attitude… Yesterday, nasty comments provoked me… Today, like a great batsman, I maneuvered the nasty deliveries quite brilliantly… And, yes, by the end of the day, yesterday, I found myself drained and lifeless. Today, I am looking forward for the night… I am feeling good about myself. In control. Confiden...

Pic.: Suyog Surte “ Abundance is a process of letting go… that which is empty can receive.”   - Bryant H. McGill A week ago, I had some very important and urgent work with a person. So, I tried calling that person and all my calls were met with the same response: “Switched off’ or ‘Out-of-coverage area’. I found no replies to my messages, too… Initially, I was irritated and annoyed… even anxious as the matter was important and urgent. The state of mind continued to be so – tensed and restless – for quite some time… And, finally, I let go… The solution emerged on its own and from an unexpected corner. What once seemed like ‘important and urgent’ – a do-or-die situation – now did not seem so. It was a ‘life-situation’… It wasn’t life itself. Its weight was so heavy because I kept holding it in my mind for so long! The moment I dropped it – let go its importance and urgency – it became an experience as light as a feather…The way open...

Pic.: Amrita Jeurkar W hen I see myself reacting, I feel very disturbed…  No matter how much I try justifying from outside, I know how it feels from inside! Reacting comes from my loss of self-control. Which means, someone else is controlling me… my actions, my words, my behavior. And, to see someone else manipulating me, like a toy, is not a pleasant experience to live by… Slowing down helps… Consciously slowing down. When I consciously stand aside and allow another person’s comments to ‘be’… Just allow them to ‘be’… without attaching any meaning to them, without interpreting them, magnifying them… read through them… making a dramatic story out of what is being said… Yes, by not allowing someone’s words assume that epic proportion… by keeping my two feet firmly planted on the ground and my head firmly planted on my shoulders… a lot can be achieved in terms of my mental hygiene… Other people make their own choices. No matter how desperately I try to c...

Pic.: Rachna Talreja Mukhi “IT IS BY CHOICE AND NOT BY CHANCES THAT WE CHANGE OUR CIRCUMSTANCES.”   ―   Nadia Sahari ,   A s it is said, our deeply-rooted habits do become our deeply-rooted nature. Our deeply-rooted nature shapes our personality... and, through our personality, we carve our own destinies... Today, in my early morning batch, when I caught myself complaining about my students – many of them had turned up, despite my daily ‘sermon’ on it, without doing their home-work, and many had turned up with shoddy-work – I, suddenly, realized that I was doing it more as a habit... It had become an instinctive response to the stimulus... That is, my students’ behavior had become the trigger to my reaction. In fact, the more I cribbed about it, the more irritated and stressed I found myself to be... And, suddenly, I could sense the power I had, unwittingly, handed over to my students to rule my peace of mind, my well-being...

For the last two days, I have been having a very bad cold. My head was heavy and eyes were sleepy. So, after taking a strong doze of medicines, last night, I went into a deep sleep. My son stayed late to study for his board exams; my wife had to leave early this morning, and hence, went off to sleep early, too. At 11 in the night, the SMSes stared flashing. "There has been firing at several places in Mumbai by the terrorists," our son knocked on our bed-room door to break the news. But, my sleep wasn't broken. After he left, my wife hit the bed again. But then, she struggled to catch sleep after that. At 1.30 am, my mobile phone rang; she picked up. My younger brother from Navi Mumbai spent the next half-an-hour giving her the 'live coverage' of the going-ons. This time, she tried to wake me up. "Listen. It seems, they are showing on TV the live coverage of the terror attack on Mumbai," she somewhat succeeded in breaking her husband's unusual snooze....

They say, "The calmness of the ocean depends on its depth." That's why, the ocean is so restless near the shore. It is, always, the periphery, the shallow shore, that is restless, agitated. This morning, my wife said something, and I flared up. The fume lasted for, almost, an hour... But, now, the ship has moved much away from the shore ... The waters are still here; there is calm. The READER'S DIGEST has sent me a small book as a gift for renewing my annual subscription. It is titled: "HOW TO WIN ANY ARGUMENT".(Publisher: JAICO BOOKS.) The author, Mr. Robert Mayer, has given the sub-title as: 'Don't raise your voice, lose your cool or come to blows.' Well, except for the blows, everything else happened, this morning! So, I thought, I would read the book again. And, Lo! This little phrase stood out: 'THE STILL CENTER'! Mr. Mayer extensively quotes ancient Masters from the East - the Indian, Japanese and Chinese. One of the quotes is of Th...