THE REMINDER FROM A SUNSET AND A CEMETERY

“He who is not contented with what he has,

would not be contented with what he would like to have.” 

― Socrates

The desire to grow financially, improve the standard of living and secure the future of our family members – yes, I think, it is one of the most powerful human drives. The poor want to come out of their poverty and the rich want to become ever richer… The drive is the same… Only the sizes of their ‘wants’ – I said ‘wants’, not ‘needs’ – differ.

A poor man, who doesn’t have a house of his own, desires to have one of his own. So, ideally, with a small house of 1-BHK or 2-BHK, he should be content. On the other hand, a rich man, with a big mansion, should be content with what he has already got. But, the poor man desires for even better house and life style and the rich man desires for even bigger mansion, more luxurious cars and material things in life. It shows in their family’s lifestyles, including weddings and holidays.

In life, how much is really enough to make one happy and content?

No one actually knows!

The restlessness, meanwhile, makes all of us desire for more… work for more, build and accumulate more… all with the hope, that the future of our families will be secure.

My own experience has taught me this: Though we all need good amount of money and material possessions to live a happy life, our happiness doesn’t necessarily depend on our money and possessions. Our happiness – I am talking about a true sense of happiness – fundamentally depends on our attitude of gratitude. Unless, we acknowledge what God has already blessed us with, and unless we feel deeply grateful for that privilege, no amount of money or possessions can fill our hearts.

Greed is excessive desire. It comes from the lack of attitude of gratitude. The desire to accumulate more and more wealth and keep up with the Ambanis and the Adanis – yes, this desire comes from lack of gratitude in life. The funny thing is this: While the Ambanis and the Adanis, who, just a few decades ago, were like the rest of us here, are still desperate to accumulate more… we, here, are desperate to keep up with them!

Funny are the worldly ways!

I do not like to talk about Vijay Mallya or Nirav Modi. For, there is a Vijay Mallya and Nirav Modi in all of us… We all play the same game as they played… Only the scale and size of our games are different. Our desires are same… Our methods are same… The name of the game is same… The only difference is: They played bigger games and we play smaller!

Some days ago, I and my family had been to our hometown, Mangalore, to attend the marriage of my nephew (my elder brother’s son).  For those couple of days, we were accommodated by my younger brother, Rony, in his new house. It’s a beautiful apartment – very spacious and with wonderful amenities. Rony has been working very hard in Kuwait for many years, and, he has rightfully desired, like all of us, to have a good house and standard of living. So, while staying in his house, I felt really happy for him. One evening, he took me to their terrace. “Dattu (elder brother), let me show you a beautiful sight,” he said as we landed on the terrace, “Look, here it is!”

What I saw was not only the captivating scenery of sunset… but also the grim look of the cemetery right across the road!

“Why here?” must have been the obvious question by everyone, who visited my brother’s house…  “Yes, why facing a cemetery?”

Before I could ask that question, my brother had an answer… “The sunset and the cemetery are the reminders for us,” my brother said, “that, no matter how ‘great’ you become in life, that’s where we all are going to be.” He concluded, “I like to spend a few moments here in silence… It is my meditation!”

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Chenthi Mohan/ Jouneys with Meaning