BEFORE OUR PASSIONS TURN INTO OUR TRAPS





















“Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos.

-”Tennessee Williams



There is a ‘trap’ in which we all fall into: Doing what we love the most!

Now, I may sound wired when I say this. “How can doing what we love the most can entrap us?” I hear this question.

Like the majority, I, too, believe in seeking happiness in life by following my heart… by doing what I love the most. And, therefore, I have chosen that path for being happy in life… I have done - and am still doing and shall be alwaysl doing – exactly the same…

Do what I love and love what I do!

But, along this path, I have realized this truth: Often, along our happiness path, we may be blinded… become mechanical, compulsive and even egoistic. What we love to do should come from a very, very clean space… and not from a need to prove our worth to others, seek others’ approval and validation, the need to be visible, feel praised and complimented… Yes, as I said, these needs can quietly sneak in and corrupt our hearts.

Thus, it is prudent to take, time to time, conscious breaks from what we passionately love to do… and let the quiet space reign over our consciousness… It is very meditative… Just watching the thoughts, including the ones that give us happiness or sorrow all the while…

There is a reason why I am saying all this, today. I am writing this blog after almost two weeks. To me, writing every day, even if it is a small piece, is a very fulfilling and therapeutic experience… I feel the happiest… I do not bother about who reads my posts or who don’t… It doesn’t matter whether or not my writing brings me fame or money… All that matters to me is to ‘express’… I have this need to do it, and, therefore, I do it…

But, as I said, this very need to ‘express’ can, quietly, turn into an ego-trip… And, that’s the ‘trap’ I was talking about at the outset of this Post…

We need to abstain from our passions, time to time… They call it ‘Retreat’… “Sharpening our Saws’…

So, what did I do during these days? Did I go into the mountains or did I got into a boat and just disappeared from the crowd?
 
Nothing of that sort… I was, in fact, in the midst of the thickest of actions… I had been to my home town to attend my nephew’s wedding – a big, fat Mangalorean wedding… There, I also got to attend a couple of other social functions… all were full of glitter. For a while, I felt completely uprooted… Then, quickly, I  decided to be ‘present’ there… Totally… With all my heart and soul!

Was that meditation?

I believe, it was!

I consciously chose not to worry about rest of the world… I chose not to bother about what to say in my daily Posts… My son’s phone, mysteriously, conked off the day we had landed in Mangalore… I gave away mine to him and remained without any so-called contact with the world for almost eight days!

The sky did not fall and my happiness did not desert me, you see…

All happiness and sadness stories are simply the stories we weave in our minds. That’s all…

This morning, I thought, I would write something around it…

And, I did.

I am as happy as the blue and white sky, up there high!

 P.S.: I had written this Post three days ago. Just did not feel ‘compelled’ to publish it!


GERALD D’CUNHA


Pic.: Suyog Surte

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