Gerald D'Cunha

    “People’s minds are changed through observation, and not through arguments.” Will Rogers T he dictionary meaning of the term ‘Cesspool’ is this: ‘An underground resourviour for liquid waste such as household sewage.’ It further describes it as: ‘a filthy, evil or corrupt place or state’… And, how true that is! Well, which cesspool am I talking about here, today? The figurative one… The toxic arguments, let me be precise. Like most around me, I, too, am aware of that impulsive need in me to argue with others, including my loved ones… often fiercely, with what they call - ‘teeth and nails’… Colourful way of describing the way most of us choose to argue and try to ‘win’, right? I have done that too many times… Only to end up feeling terribly bad, later. Because, when we argue with our teeth and nails, we resort to verbal violence… Invariably, it leaves our soul bruised and wounded. And, imagine, when we do that with our loved ones! So, these days, when...

  “A story, to me, means a plot where there is some surprise. Because, this is how life is – full of surprises.” Isaac Bashevis Singer   “B e careful”… “Take care”… “Sambhalke ”… these and many similar expressions have become a part of our daily vocabulary. Invariably, we use   all of them to express our love, care and concern for our loved ones. But, every day, as we step out into this world, you and I know, that we have these two options before us: We can either step out harbouring more trust and love in our hearts, or more distrust and hate. Thus, we have a choice - either to stretch our two hands in embrace, or cross them tightly against our chests in self-protection… Mercifully, knowing fully well, that this world and its people aren’t perfect, most of us do choose to walk out with our two hands stretched in embrace… harbouring more trust and fear in our hearts… Yes, everybody out there is not a crook – he or she is not there conspiring against us, tr...

  “When you can see God in small things, you’ll see God in all things.” Donald L. Hicks   T his must be the third or fourth time, someone – a Christian – called me up to check, “Am I speaking with Gerald D’Cunha?” “Yes, Sir, you are speaking with Gerald D’Cunha,” I answered. “Mr. Gerald, are you a Catholic or a Protestant?” the caller asked me, after identifying himself and the Centre he was calling from. That’s when I realized, that I had received such calls a couple of times before, too… Still, I let the caller continue… “Mr. Gerald, do we wish to know more about Jesus Christ, Mother Mary…” I stopped him… “My friend, I have received such calls before and I have informed them this: I am a Christian and a born Catholic. Jesus is the central force in my life, and between Him and me, I do not need any middlemen. My faith in Jesus is personal, however innocent may that seem.” The call ended… I remembered the blogs I had written following such calls earli...

  “Polarization affects families and   groups of friends. It’s a paralyzing situation. A civil war of opinion.” Mick Jagger   T he Independence Day  – I am referring to any Country’s Independence Day – only marks the day that country got free from a foreign rule. In our case, it’s 15 th August, and we celebrated it two days ago. As an Indian, I know how hard it had been for generations before me to achieve that freedom. I, therefore, feel privileged, grateful and blessed to have been born in a ‘Free nation’. Well, that being said, I see around me, and see within me - and ask: “Have I become free from my prejudices?”… “Have I become free from the curse of polarization?” Did I say ‘Curse’? Yes, I did… The British have left us, the Mughals and every other ‘outside’ rulers have gone… But, to see ourselves freed from social, religious, political and cultural prejudices, we need a different kind of ‘freedom struggle’. Territorial freedom, therefore, has on...

  “The greatest gift you can give your child is not material possession; it’s the gift of discipline.” Unknown   I have been teaching teenaged students for decades. Broadly speaking, I get to see two kinds of parents of these young students of mine… The first kind - I would say, the majority - shield their young ones fiercely… They defend their young ones’ behaviour and actions, even when correction is required. These parents are touchy, overprotective about their young children. The second kind - I would say, the minority – don’t shield their young ones where correction is required. They are firm when it comes to discipline. For, they know the old truth: The best time to shape a tree is when it is a sapling… Once hardened, it is impossible to shape the tree. One of these mothers, who firmly believes in shaping her teenager before he gets ‘hardened’, has been very, very consistent in her approach… She knows her only son like the back of her hand. She knows when ...

  “There’s something about a blank page that makes me tingle.” Nikki Grimes   S ome of my friends are curious to know, when I open a blank page every day to blog, if I am ready with the subject of the blog. It’s very interesting… Some years ago, I had published a book on Mr. Kannan’s Sunday stories - 'FLOWING WITH THE WHEEL'. He was a cancer survivor; but full of zest and ready with lively stories, every Sunday morning, when we met for our Tai Chi sessions.    One of his stories was, how, on many occasions, he and his wife would simply sit on their car and go on a long drive, saying, “Let the road take us.”… I loved that story of living life with spontaneity, a childlike trust and wonder, so to let Life unfold itself along our journey… It seems, on many days, I do the same thing… I open a blank page and say, as Mr. Kannan would do - “Let the blank page take me!” And, I am sure, this must be the story of every other creative person on this planet – a p...

  “Patience is the companion of wisdom.” Saint Augustine   T hough I woke at 6 in the morning, today, I have been extremely slow-paced till this minute… It is nearing 4 p.m. It looks like I have been ‘unproductive’ throughout the day. Except for one class in the morning and a visit to my bank, I have done nothing in terms of any routine, quantifiable work. Even this blog, I tried to type, but, strangely, couldn’t move even a word! So, the question –  a quiet guilt – did pop up in me: “Was it a wasted day?” That very question has now opened the gate for this blog: I realize, that the quiet moments are my spiritual moments. Every minute need not – and should not – be filled with the so-called ‘productive’, ‘quantifiable’ work… The heart needs rest… The soul needs nourishing. These don’t happen when we are rushing - frantically rushing - to accomplish more in less time… The periodic retreat – when I am prompted to keep my tools down and just ‘be’ – is needed to r...

  “Perhaps, the earth could teach us… everything would seem dead; then, be alive.” Pablo Neruda   A ll of a sudden, since yesterday, I have been getting on my phone some old funny scenes from the popular TV show of the fifties – ‘I Love Lucy’. I don’t know how this ‘feeding things’ happen on our phones; but, sometimes, they happen for the right reason… I remembered my wife the moment I heard ‘I Love Lucy’. For, she really, really loved Lucy and her hilarious escapades in her New York middle-class, rented apartment. Well, when the ‘I Love Lucy’ show was first aired in America (CBS) from 1951 to 1957, I wasn’t even born. And, my wife was born more than a decade later. The show began to be aired on our glorious B & W DD during the eighties, when my wife was a school girl… She just loved Lucy! Thus, this morning, the first thing I did was to tell my  wife about her favourite Lucy… “Show me, show me,” she jumped. I showed her some scenes, and my wife was jumpin...