THE REMINDER FROM THE MOUNTAINS

 



He, who does not understand your silence, will,

probably, not understand your words.”

Elbert Hubard

 

When two of us keep shouting at each other, the winner is, always, the one who shouts the louder. By this logic, we are warned not to engage in a shouting match... unless we are shouting champions...

You see, none of us is a gentle angel here... We all shout at one another... That’s our default defence-mechanism...

And this: we show more patience, restraint, tolerance, empathy and gentleness when we communicate with ‘outsiders’; and, we, generally, show impatience and lack of sensitivity when we communicate with ‘our own’...

Yes, I am no exception. It’s said, when we are intimate – in deep love – we don’t even have to whisper... Our silence speaks. And, when angry, we shout, yell, scream...

Rumi says:


“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing

and right doing, there is a field

I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.”





Some years ago, our son had been to Uttarakhand. His friend (a batchmate while studying in Pune) belonged to this picturesque land adorned with mountains and valleys. They had built a beautiful home  where my son was a guest for a few days. One of the permanent memories my son carried from this place was a quote placed prominently in the sit-out area of their house:

“Speak only if it improves upon the silence.”

Mahatma Gandhi

 

And, last night, my wife and I found ourselves caught up with one of those familiar loud ‘conversations’ with our son. The moment I stepped into the cesspool, I decided to be patient, not to get dragged into the so-called ‘conversation’, a.k.a. – ‘the shouting match’. From my experience, I knew, how difficult it was to step out once dragged in...

And, at the appropriate moment, I asked gently: “May I come in?”

The next few minutes belonged to me... They belonged to silence... Listening was meaningful... Words seemed unnecessary to communicate... It was intimate...

Late, after we had gone off to sleep, I saw a message from our son in our home group:

“Thank you Dad. Today’s conversation was good one... Gratitude. Love you... Good night.”

My heart smiled as I replied:

“The reminder from the mountains:

‘Speak only if it improves upon the silence.’

Good night, Son. Love you, too.”

 





GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic’s: Pixabay.com

Video: Andre Rieu/Andreea Petcu

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