Gerald D'Cunha

  He, who does not understand your silence, will, probably, not understand your words.” Elbert Hubard   W hen two of us keep shouting at each other, the winner is, always, the one who shouts the louder. By this logic, we are warned not to engage in a shouting match... unless we aspire to be shouting champions... You see, none of us is a gentle angel here... We all shout at one another... That’s our default defence-mechanism... And this: we show more patience, restraint, tolerance, empathy and gentleness when we communicate with ‘outsiders’; and, we, generally, show impatience and lack of sensitivity when we communicate with ‘our own’... Yes, I am no exception. It’s said, when we are intimately close, we don’t even need to whisper... Our silence speaks. And, when angry, we are emotionally so distanced, that we need to shout, yell, scream... Rumi says: “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field I’ll meet you there. When the soul lie...

  “You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.” Joyce Meyer   T his is mid-August; and in Maharashtra, the students, who have cleared their tenth and wanting to join eleventh (State Board), are yet to go to their respective junior colleges. Some have just started going; but, they are unsure about the allocation of some subjects like Maths. On the other side, students from other Boards, such as CBSE, ISC, IGCSE etc., have completed almost 50 to 75 % of their portion in their colleges and private institutes. So, the State Board students, unless they have enrolled with some private tutors like me, are at the mercy of God – Ram Bharose! Here, I, too, have completed a significant portion of my eleventh-standard students belonging to the State Board. But, then, students are still joining; and I have to, patiently, go back to the Accountancy nursery… to teach them Debit and Credit, all over again.… Yesterday morning, I received a call from a young man. He said, tha...

Pic.: Mini Milind “Self-care is never selfish, but it may feel that way when you live a frenzied life.”  ―  Arthur P. Ciaramicoli , S aying ‘No’ is difficult, very uncomfortable. At least, it is so to me. People come to me with requests and it calls for my saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’. The moment I say ‘yes’, I know I should be ready to give my time, energy or money. Experience has taught me how, by saying ‘yes’ when I wanted to say ‘no’, I had invited stress for myself… making me eventually resist or feel even angry. All the workshops we had conducted over the years – on ‘Self-esteem’ and on ‘Assertiveness’ – yes, all these workshops have taught me one thing: We cannot say ‘yes’ to everyone, and for everything. That, saying ‘no’ in the right manner with the right intent is the greatest service we can do to our own well-being, and, thereby, to that of others’ as well. But, then, it is not as easy as it seems. One of my students,...

Pic.: Shreeshay Patel MY CONFIDENCE COMES FROM MY INTENSE FAITH IN THE UNIVERSE Austin Coutinho Former Sr. Manager (CRM), RCF; cricketer; sports administrator; cricket, football and mental toughness coach; author, sports writer and caricaturist M y confidence comes from my intense faith in the universe. I try and be good to others, and therefore believe that the universe will not allow bad things to happen to me. Do I have self-doubts? Almost every moment of my being! That is the reason I put more than a hundred percent effort into everything that I undertake. And when I succeed, that boosts my confidence further. I have been a scatter-brain: from graduating in science and law to post graduation in journalism, marketing, advertising, and lastly, public relations. It’s been a journey of discovering new things on a daily basis. I played cricket to banish my childhood asthma, but ended up in the Mumbai Ranji squad. I took up football c...

Pic.: Chandrasekhar Varier T wo days ago, a doctor-friend of mine had invited me for a dinner in a nice restaurant. We were three of us, the third one being a lawyer-friend.  We spent more than two hours… and, during this time, I sent only one message, but didn’t pick up a single call … My doctor-friend picked up one call but did not read or  send any message… and, my lawyer-friend seemed as though he was not carrying a mobile with him. Yes, it was so peaceful and so free from the endless encroachment which we all are so used to… The lawyer-friend was not on Whatsapp. The doctor-friend told us that he had got fed-up with the ‘groups’ and found such kind of communication to be an unwanted source of stress and anxiety. “I have informed all concerned that I prefer sms’s and I may not read the Whatsapp messages,” he said. Technology has come light-years ahead. It was supposed to make our life easy and comfortable. It has. But, it has, also, brought a...

Pic.: Indu Varier I t is 10 dot in the morning, now. Reshma, a dear friend of mine, has just sent a message on my phone: “Sir, running late… Should be there in 15 minutes max.” “No problem Reshma,” I replied instantly. Reshma has been living in London with her husband and two little-girls. Back home, here in Mumbai, her elderly parents live. They are very sick. Moreover, there is her brother, who has been mentally retarded right from his birth. Some days ago, Reshma called me up…. “Sir, I am in India,” she said, “I will come and see you in a few days.” Yesterday, she called me up, again, to check with me if she could meet me today. Thus, we fixed it for today morning, at 10… Ironically, last night, someone had asked some of us to attend a meeting at 10 concerning some issue. All of us were there before time. The gentleman, who had called the meeting, did not turn up till 10.30… Nor did he consider it important to inform us, leave alone feeling bad, apologetic, o...

Pic.: Nirmala Sundar L ast evening, I spent, almost, two hours in Gunit’s* bungalow. I was visiting their place after twenty-nine years! I knew Gunit* since he was in class 9. That was the time, I used to teach his elder brother, Karan* and four others, in their bungalow, who were studying for their twelfth-standard board-exams. I was very close to their family... Though Gunit  wasn't  my student, he would be very close to me, very affectionate and respectful. Parents, despite their wealth, had great respect for teachers, about which, they would be very vocal. “It is teachers like you who mould our children,” they would say, “You are their second parents.” Both the sons were groomed, during their college days, to get into the family business. Karan completed his B’Com and Gunit his B’Sc.  Eventually  both both joined the business full-time and ensured that it grew well. What I still remember is, that the family was very...

Pic.: Ashok Ahuja M any of my friends are excellent communicators… They speak well, they write well. Whenever they are around me, they leave me a lot richer by their power of expression. “You must write,” I urge them, “at least, ten lines a day.” Now, imagine this. All of us have some ideas or ideals which are extremely close to our hearts. I have many things in my life – most of them are wayside things – which fascinate me as I go about my daily life… Similarly, each one of us is fascinated by something or the other. Imagine, if we could pause for a while to pen down those things! For last ten days, I have urged some half-a-dozen friends of mine to write, at least, ten lines a day. “Write with passion; write on anything close to your heart,” I remind them, “Write to inspire yourself; write to inspire others around you.” “‘No time - is just an excuse,” I tell them, “I am not inspired enough to write - is just a myth!" The truth is: we, alw...

Pic.: Rajiv Sharma 11 -year-old Yommie began to attend our summer PD-course when he was seven. So, this time was his fifth summer-course with us! I love (?) his energy and mischief... He is a real sport. Rather, brat! One of the mischiefs, Yommie would frequently resort to, during our PD sessions for the little-ones, was his mimicry. The moment I went out of the class, he would mount on the podium and start entertaining his friends by mimicking me... Well, he had been watching me in action for five long seasons... Mimicry, thus, had to be top-class! Once he sensed that even I started enjoying his ape-act, he kept repeating it very regularly. At times, I would get annoyed and sternly send his little-tail in, screaming at him: “Enough!” Then, one day, fed up with his mischief, I decided to put an end to this monkey menace in my class. “Yommie, I am going to punish you,” I howled, “you will have to mimic me in front of a large audience on the certification d...