SHOULD YOU GO FIRST, AND I REMAIN

 




"Life doesn’t come with a manual;

it comes with a mother."

-     Unknown

 

Today is the second death anniversary of my Mom. We called her ‘Mai’. The last two years or so, before Mom passed away, we saw the rapid decile of her health. She was unable to walk, talk, eat, or remember anything. But, through this ordeal, my elder brother Franklin, and his wife Merlyn, took exceptional care of Mom.

Mom was 48 when our Dad (we called him ‘Baab’) died of a sudden heart attack. He was in his mid-fifties. We were five brothers. When Dad died, Franklin, the eldest of us, was 27, I was 25, Harry, the third of us was 23. Rony, the fourth and Vivek, the fifth -– they both were too young when Dad passed away. Imagine, our Mom’s situation… Her life had been full of struggle till then. Dad was a local mechanic, with his huge flaws -– excessive drinking and smoking. Mom endlessly guggled to make the two ends meet… Struggle continued till all her five boys could stand on their own feet.

On her second death anniversary of Mom, I wonder how she handled her loss… how gracefully she lived as a widow, hoping to see her five sons and their families did well in life…

Harry passed away before Mom did. While the rest of us lived, doing reasonably well in our lives, my thoughts go to my elder brother, Franklin. He and his wife, Merlyn, gave up so much when Mom declined in her health… She had literally become a baby… totally dependent on her eldest son and his wife… A few morsels of food took hours to go in… Yes, she was nursed like a little baby by Franklin and Merlyn.

Mom had lived her life gracefully and purposefully. She was an incredibly pious woman. Her death was peaceful, even though it was painful for all of us. Franklin and Merlyn could now take a much-deserved break… A few months in the US and two trips to Dubai. When the second Dubai trip was to end, Franklin had a massive brain-stroke, and his right side was paralyzed fully. Almost a month in one of Dubai’s hospitals, he was flown back to Mangalore (hometown), and straight into a neuro-specialty hospital…

Months have passed by. Franklin is confined to his bed and the wheelchair; and, it’s the turn of Merlyn and their elder son, Macklin to nurse Franklin back to health… Now, at 70, he is the new baby at home… Every baby step looks like a jubilation… every attempt to express something sounds like, yes, baby’s maiden word!




                              Behind: Franklin, Macklin, Divya, Sherwin 

                              Front: Mom and Merlyn  


Helplessly watching this plight of my elder brother, and the love, care and patience shown by his wife and sons, today, I am remembering Mom’s last two years…

“Of all, Lord, why this to Franklin?”… a side of me asks.




                Franklin now (on chair) flanked by Raju, the caretaker


Mom never asked that question: “Lord, why this to me?” –- neither when she endlessly struggled to keep her head above the water level and put us on our feet, nor while living as a widow for forty-one long years…

Grace, grit and gratitude –- yes, Mom has left us with this shield of legacy…

Miss you, Mom…

 



GERLAD D’CUNHA


Pic’s: 1. Pixabay/Marcin  2.  2 & 3 Alcel Villa

Video: Gaither Music



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