Gerald D'Cunha

  “You can’t do a good job if your job is all you do.” Katie Thurmes   W hen we are obsessed with our professional work - work like crazy – we are called ‘workaholics’. Obviously, it is an addiction just as alcohol or any other addiction are. This addiction is self-induced, it comes from our choice… On the other hand, when we are compelled to work in a similar manner due to the condition at our work places – a ruthless boss or work ethics – then, we cannot call ourselves ‘workaholics’… we are bonded labourers, forced into slavery… In this Post, I wish to deal with the ‘workaholism’ – the self-induced slavery to work. Work is very, very important, and, I am an advocate of hard work, long work and smart work – all. But, I know, work is not ‘all’… It is not ‘Life’… It is only a segment of life. Most of us know, by now, that when work becomes our entire life, life becomes endangered… When work goes, Life goes… So, many of us, learn it the hard way… I did. I, too, s...

“ "It is hard to understand addiction unless you have experienced it.” -        Ken Hensley F or most of us – shall I say ‘for all of us’ – it’s become very, very difficult to sit quietly at one place, even for a few seconds. Our minds have become so addictive to fill every millisecond of that quiet space… that, our hands instinctively reach to our phones, computers and other gadgets… And, there we are… All of us… everywhere… looking down on our mobile-phone or computer screens… endlessly watching something, reading something, listening to something, allowing ourselves to be swayed and influenced, and, yes, ‘colonized’… Though I knew what the constant onslaught of social media and technology has done to our lives, it was Mahershala Ali, the American actor and rapper, from whom I first picked this colourful expression: “Social media has colonized what was once a sacred space occupied by emptiness: the space reserved for thought ...

A friend of mine gave me a lift just a while ago. I was meeting him after a long time. So, I asked him, “Is everything fine? I am seeing you after a very long time.” The gentleman, who is in his mid-thirties, is well-placed in a multinational company. His work involves extensive travel and use of technology. “Parents’ health issues and my work pressure,” the gentleman explained, “It has been tough to cope with.” I had seen his father and mother both shrinking gradually. Barely a few months ago, when I saw his dad, I felt very sorry… each step looked like a massive milestone! After that, I had not been seeing the gentleman’s parents… “They are not able to move out,” the gentleman told me, today. Our conversation took a turn from there. “That generation did not have the kind of life style we are having,” the gentleman told me, “We all will start shrinking right in our thirties and forties!” I nodded my head! None of us – I said ‘none’…. Neither a k...

“People can become addicted to fame, money, and attention as deeply as they become addicted to drugs.”  ―  Dennis Prager ,  Think a Second Time I n our college canteen, Mangalore, there was a rude waiter. He dealt with the students with his sarcastic comments and got away with it; but, not always. One day, he got the taste of his own medicine… A student came to the counter and made a typical inquiry with the rude waiter. I reproduce, here, the exchange of their dialogues (with Hindi and English translation) in the local Tulu language as it carries its own flavor: Student : “Bechha yenchina undu?” “Garam kya hai” “What is there hot (dish)?” Waiter : “Bechcha? Dingeld genda undu.” “Garam? Chule mein koyla hai” “Hot? There is coal in the oven.” Student: “Korle onji plate.” “Ek plate de do.” “Get me a plate of it.” The waiter went inside the kitchen and returned with a plate of red-hot coal… and placed it on th...

F or most of us, one of the hardest things to do is to accept the idea that we are dispensable... That, without us, the world can function perfectly well…  Life can go on perfectly well, as well. On this July 24, my wife and I decided to quietly celebrate my 58 th birthday in Pune, with Kenrick, our only son and Dr. Deepak, our close friend. What surprised me, that day, was a very simple fact I had not noted all these years, but Dr. Deepak pointed out. He said, “You are born on ‘twenty four/seven’!” “Gosh! I did not know that!” I exclaimed… “It’s okay,” Dr. Deepak calmed me down in his inimitable way, “You know it now.” W hen do we use the phrase – ‘Twenty four/seven’? A lot of truth is packed in it… The mind is so addicted to thoughts and habits… that to live without those thoughts and habits seems impossible. The thoughts, mostly of negative nature … worry and anxiety, fear and clinging… fear of losing… insecurity, doubt, jealou...

Pic.: Pradeep Nanda “No one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions.” Patrick J. Kennedy A n addiction is any kind of compulsion, a habit pattern my mind is accustomed to, addicted to… It is a reaction. Not an action coming from my conscious choice, my awareness. In the mediation of ‘Vipasana’, as I understand, we are helped to deal with our addictions… all kinds of addictions. The TV at our place is down for some months now. We are not at all interested in getting it fixed… For, we are not at all interested in watching the news, serials, reality shows or whatever that is dished out in the name of information, entertainment or infotainment and all that. So, when I glance through the morning newspaper or when someone shares something on social media, I get to know about a road accident – and how Hippocratic media is when it is concerned about the scar on Hema Malini’s face and cold about the lit...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty “H ey, she is smoking!” This is your topic, “Your time starts now.” It was a group of three boys and three girls, all junior-college kids. I had given them this topic for Group Discussion, this morning, during our P.D. session. None of them smoked, leave alone the girls. They came from conservative homes and went to conservative schools and colleges. So, it  didn't  surprise me when all of them spoke strongly against smoking. But, then, the topic was – “Hey, ‘she’ is smoking!” 17-year-old Debasmita had objection to the gender discrimination. “To me, smoking IS injurious to health; it sucks your lungs... It kills you,” she said with loads of conviction, “But, it  doesn't ’ discriminate between men and women, boys and girls – it sucks all, kills all.” Debasmita pointed that she  wasn't  surprised seeing girls smoke as much as she  wasn't  seeing boys do. If boys think that it i...

Pic.: Ashok Ahuja F or many of us, the morning newspaper is as important as the morning cup of tea. Likewise, the  prime-time  night-news is as badly a need as the supper on our table! But, honestly, it is no more so for me. The morning newspapers lie there for days sometimes, yes, un-touched… And, the nights are noiseless, for days together, while the supper is on… Is my curiosity, the urge, the desperation to know what’s happening around me is just induced by my weak, gullible mind? What if I go about my life without knowing who wins elections and who loses, who is sent to jail and who is sent to Mars? Am I just addicted, just as to my cup of tea or to someone to his puff or peg? I seriously think, life will go on beautifully – in fact, more peacefully, without newspapers and noisy TV news… So addicted we all are, so desperate that we do not realize how we end-up watching more advertisements than news on the newspapers as well as TV...

Our work is not our Life. It is only a segment… maybe, a greater segment… but, not the entire life. Work should not be our entire life… It should not be our ‘identity’… It should not be the sole source of our security, our well-being, our ‘everything’! And, yet, for some of us, it is so… and, our lives revolve around our work… so much so, without it, life is all a big blank! Shivang*, a 26-year-old young-man, had come to see me, today. For a while, I couldn’t recognize him – he had put on a lot of weight; there seemed to be something wrong with his left eye… And, till he introduced himself to me, I was unable to recognize that he was my student in his TY B’Com! Shivang hailed from a very humble and hard-working family. His parents had tough time to educate him and his sister. Father had suffered some business losses and was in debt and mother did some odd jobs to keep the kitchen fire burning. Both, the sister and brother gave tuitions...