Gerald D'Cunha

  “Don’t leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.”   Amy Sedaris I n life, we learn some lessons the hard way. One of them is not to offer advice to any one – even our nearest and dearest ones – unless the advice is asked for. Did I say ‘even our nearest and dearest ones’? Yes, I did say. Let me be specific, here. Let’s look around us and see how some of our nearest and dearest ones blindly believe in fake news - divisive, communal, toxic and defamatory news, which is dished out, incessantly, through both mainstream and social media. When we see these dear ones of ours so addicted to this, what do we do? Initially, we try to tell them, “Honey, that’s fake news… That’s harmful… Stay away from it.” From where does our advice come? “From our concern, obviously,” we may think. But, do the other person/s think so? Chances are more, that our ‘out-of-concern advice’ may simply boomerang on us…...

S ome days ago, 18-year-old Ryan, one of our PD students, waited after everyone had left. “Sir, I wanted to point out a small printing error in this book,” he said respectfully. It was one of our popular books, and the printing error, which Ryan wanted to point out, was found, of all the places, in the Table of Contents! Well, not one error, there were two, there! I sincerely thanked Ryan, and complimented him for pointing it out with good intention and in the most civilized way… Our books are printed not with any commercial objective. We, who are involved with their writing, editing and publication, are not professionals. Despite our best efforts, mistakes do creep in; and, all that we do, whenever a mistake is brought to our notice, is - accept it gracefully, and gratefully… Ryan, our student, wanted to correct us… He, certainly, succeeded! During our PD session, today, 15-year-old Krish was on stage. He had just made a small grammat...

Pic.: Rachna Talreja Mukhi “Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” -          Oscar Wilde M y elder brother was telling me, the other day, that, for all of us, there are these three ways of learning in life: 1. From the good advice from our well-wishers – our parents, relatives, teachers, preachers, friends or any other well-wishers... 2. From others’ mistakes... When we see before our eyes what happens to people around us, if they make mistakes... 3. From our own mistakes... when we realize what happens to us if we do those mistakes... “Some people just refuse to learn from others’ advice or mistakes,” my brother told me, “There is only one way for them to learn from, and that is from their own mistakes... They have to fall and learn... Fall over and over again, at times.” I was shaking my head to convey how true it was! Everyday, when I stand on this teacher’s-pedestal and go on ...

Pic.: Sherry Haridas Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon Dickson O ne of my students, who has just given his twelfth-standard exams (ISC ), has been keen to do Product Designing in a reputed design-school in India . He had joined a well-known coaching institute to prepare for its entrance exams... and, for, almost, two years the preparations were on... NID, the so-called the best one, did not happen. So, the choice was among the rest around... This morning, I was intrigued by a FB status from this young-man: “ Ppl all around the world which college will be better for product design among MIT, ISDI , Srishti and DSK. Which provide with good internship and good campus recruitment?? ....Plz help.   —   feeling   confused." He was my student for two years. I used to discuss with him, often, about career choices, self-confidence, self-trust, our passions and talent...

Pic.: Sherry Haridas T hey are a bunch of six boys, in the age group of 14 to 16. For the last two weeks or so, their evening mission, every day, has been: to hit passing girls with water-balloons... trouble them, harass them, anger them... and, do it more when these hapless girls asked them to stop it... Whenever some harassed ladies or elderly men would confront them, the boys would treat them with the same mischief... trouble even more... tease, irritate, harass... and, then, run from there, mocking, “Catch us if you can!” Ladies, elderly men and innocent girls, yes, none of them could ‘catch’ the mischief-mongers...and, it would go on, unabated, for almost two weeks now. Many, including myself, had told these boys, in different ways and words, not to go for such sadistic pleasure, not to harass... and, if they didn’t stop, they might land up in problems. But, they wouldn’t listen; the mischief wouldn’t come to an end...  Finally, late last evening, it h...

My dad was a die-hard fan of these three: America, Mrs. Indira Gandhi and Muhammad Ali. It was in the Sixties and early part of the Seventies; and, it was in our native town, Mangalore. In those days, we had no electricity in our house; and, though a transistor (radio) was in existence, we could not afford one. All news reached our dad through the local Kannada dailies, which he would read to the last letter, after his work, at one of his favorite shops. There, half a dozen men, including the shop-owner, would heatedly discuss and debate on the current affairs. Those were the days of Vietnam War… America, the Super Power as my dad would call her, was criticized and even hated for the Vietnam mess…  But, not my dad. For him, America was the ‘Greatest nation on earth’… and, so it remained till he died in 1984… Her stories and legends kept us enthralled and inspired till his last day! For some strange reasons, our dad also loved and ad...

Last night, a contestant from a small-time town was on the ‘hot-seat’ of KBC. He worked as a computer lab-assistant in an institute and earned a salary around Rs.13,500/- pm. A family man that he was, had a great struggle to face: his father’s advanced-stage cancer treatment! As always, Amitabh Bachchan, was extremely graceful to this contestant… offering him empathy,  encouragement and hope. Amitabh Bachchan’s 70-year journey is packed with inspiration for any one who complains: “Life is full of struggle.”  So, during the course of the game, the contestant asked Amitabh as to how he had coped with his own struggle in life, and, if the Legend could help him with some tips. In a matter of not even a minute, what Amitabh said to this earnest soul, impressed not only the contestant, the audience and me, but, I am sure, it must have impressed the whole world which watched the show! “My father would tell us,” Amitabh said to the contestant, “that, till we...

Gandhi would, often, advice his over-zealous Western followers: “You do not have to convert yourself into a Hindu to lead a virtuous life; all that you have to do is: be a good Christian.” I remembered this advice when Ramesh, an ex-student of mine, had come to seek my advice, this morning. “ Sankat mein Venkat !” That’s how Ramesh thinks I am for him. Once in six months, at least, he has to see this ‘Venkat’ ! Well, though this may sound a   little embarrassing and self-glorifying – I wish to admit that even I , too, go to many such ‘Venkats’ whenever I am in my own ‘sankats’! What was Ramesh’s sankat , today?   Ramesh did his graduation some fifteen years ago, and, simultaneously did a Software course from NIIT. He comes from a very simple, hand-to-mouth, Maharashtrian joint-family. He has a complex that he can not speak in English… and, he, often, gets intimidated by his colleagues and bosses. He goofs up and gets criticized and th...