Gerald D'Cunha

O nly a healthy body can house a healthy mind. If body is unfit, mind cant’ be fit. It took me almost 58 years to come to this realization. I have been a very positive person all through my 58 years. Moreover, I did not smoke or consume alcohol in my life. My vices – I think they should be called so – included late-dinner and going to bed almost immediately… Worst, after eating heavy non-veg food. People like me – who read and preach a lot of motivational stuff – too have our ‘ignored’ areas. In my case, it was lack proper physical exercise and healthy eating habits. My doctors had regularly advised me to do at least half-an-hour walking every day. I did not take it seriously. Then, some three years ago, I joined Tai Chi. But, it was limited to an hour or so only on Sundays. Our Tai Chi teacher would always urge us to practice at home. But, then, I did not take that seriously, either. It is only when my doctors kept adding one tablet after another, yes, when th...

Pic.: Sonia Asrani L ove your enemies… Praise your enemies… Bless them. Well, we are not Jesus Christs to do that. We are ordinary mortals…  So, we are not the ones to show our left cheeks when our enemies slap our right ones… We will react, immediately… Tit for tat… Two swear words for one… Two eyes for one… Loving, praising and blessing our enemies… yes, it is the remotest of our ideas… But then, I am still a student of this old school of thoughts and ideals… At 57, I would like to believe, that I have seen my fair share of enemies and their harassment and torture… I have had enough of it in my life… I have been provoked to get even with them, abuse them, curse them… try all means – maybe except physical violence – to silence them…. Nothing has silenced my enemies… Nothing has changed their hearts, so for. So, when I think of it, I ask, “By playing their own games, have I not only doubled my troubles, ruined my inner peace by twofold?"...

Pic.: Aparna Khanolkar Sheth “I never felt comfortable with myself, because I was never part of the majority. I always felt awkward and shy and on the outside of the momentum of my friends' lives. ” ~Steven Spielberg “It was very natural for me to want to disappear into dark theater, I am really very shy. That is something that people never seem to fully grasp because,  when you are an actor, you are meant to be an exhibitionist .”   ~Nicole Kidman I am very convinced that, some of our core personality-traits – shyness for one – do not change, either with age or with our achievements, fame and success. Shy people will, always, remain shy! There are only two approaches to deal with our shyness. One, trying to get rid of it from us. Two, transmute it into something beautiful… channelize it through some productive, positive outlets. From my own experience, I can convincingly say, that trying to get rid o...

Pic.: Usha Prasad N ot a single moment passes by without an urge in me to react: say something strongly to someone… That someone can be my own spouse, son, student, relative, friend, an associate, a neighbor, or, even, a stranger… There is this urge in me to say something strongly… An urge is a craving of my mind… a compulsion… an addiction… an instinctive habit… It is my weakness. Whenever I consciously abstain from saying what I want to say mechanically, instinctively… yes, whenever I use my discretion, better judgment, I can sense the feeling of self-confidence in my heart… I feel the power and strength… I feel I am in charge…  Yes, if just holding back a few strong comments, here and there, can give me that sense of well-being…  Then, imagine, if I can keep abstaining from reacting more and more and more! Like everyone else, I, too, know that all my thoughts and feelings need not be – and should not be – expressed. Similarly, all ...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty T here are only two kinds of troubles in my life: the troubles, which come without my invitation… and the troubles which I self-invite. The more I look closer at my troubles, the clearer it becomes to me, that, there are no troubles in my life of a third kind! Troubles, which come in my life without my invitation, are the ones I have no control on… Like the bus or taxi I travel by get knocked off by some drunk-motorist; my house is destroyed in a fire, earthquake or flood;  a major illness of my own or my dearest ones; someone burgles into my house and cleans-up my  treasury; my bank goes bust… or, my children get into some major problems… Now, though the above troubles might come into my life without my invitation and are beyond my control, I still have a choice over how I react when they come… What I am unable to change or control, I must learn to accept… and, that quiet dignity, that silent grace is the key for ...

Pic.: Vinod Krishnan O ne of the hardest lessons – and, in my view, the most priceless one – that we all have to learn early in life is this: How to keep the keys to our inner peace in our own hands! And, come what may, never, ever to hand them to someone else – no matter who he or she that person is… And, no matter what the other person has done to us… whether duped us financially, or ditched us emotionally… whatever, it is… The early we learn to get over the setback, the loss and the related grief, denial, guilt or anger… yes, the early we learn to get hold of ourselves… refuse to be bogged down by the so-called injustice, betrayal or hurt, the  better  for us… We have to remind ourselves, again and again: Nobody can take away our peace without our own consent! A s I write this, the images of a couple of dear-ones come before me… A forty-five-year-old man has been a very hard-working and sincere soul I have known. Recently, one of...

Pic.: Neerja Panchal A student of mine had celebrated his 18 th b’day a year ago. His parents, who are well-off, had personally come to invite me for the grand party they had hosted for their son at a plush hotel. Like many parents believe, these parents, too, had believed that their son had just become a ‘major’ now... A man! And, like every guest had done, that night, I, too, had wished the b’day boy – the very best as a ‘man’... The boy – I still call him ‘boy’ – still studies under me. Some weeks ago, one morning, I handed some papers to this boy and requested him to submit them to my Chartered Accountant, whose office was on the ground floor of the building next to the building in which my student lived. The boy’s face indicated that he was clueless about the CA’s office. “It is the very next building on the right side of your building,” I explained to my boy, “the very next building, on the ground floor... The name is prominently displayed.” The b...

Pic.: Rachna Talreja Mukhi “IT IS BY CHOICE AND NOT BY CHANCES THAT WE CHANGE OUR CIRCUMSTANCES.”   ―   Nadia Sahari ,   A s it is said, our deeply-rooted habits do become our deeply-rooted nature. Our deeply-rooted nature shapes our personality... and, through our personality, we carve our own destinies... Today, in my early morning batch, when I caught myself complaining about my students – many of them had turned up, despite my daily ‘sermon’ on it, without doing their home-work, and many had turned up with shoddy-work – I, suddenly, realized that I was doing it more as a habit... It had become an instinctive response to the stimulus... That is, my students’ behavior had become the trigger to my reaction. In fact, the more I cribbed about it, the more irritated and stressed I found myself to be... And, suddenly, I could sense the power I had, unwittingly, handed over to my students to rule my peace of mind, my well-being...

Pic.Sherry Haridas “Sometimes when you lose your way, you find YOURSELF.” ― Mandy Hale I n my last Post, I had written: why discovering what we love to do in life is the key to our confidence and well-being. I had shared the story of young Prachi*, who wanted to regain her self-confidence by following her heart. I am a staunch believer in the theory of ‘Doing-what-we-love’ or ‘Loving-what-we-do’ in life. I, myself, was a lost young-man till I arrived at my first-year degree college. Then, something happened – and I am never tired or ashamed of telling it, again and again. My idol Prof. Raman came to our class to teach us... and, I ‘found’ myself for the first time in my life: I wanted to be a fine teacher like him. After that, no one had to remind me how hard I had to work, what sacrifices I had to make, what additional books I had to read, what additional skills I had to build, who I had to befriend and who I had to shun... Yes, mom, dad and ...