THERE ARE ONLY TWO KINDS OF TROUBLES IN MY LIFE













Pic.: Chetna Shetty



There are only two kinds of troubles in my life: the troubles, which come without my invitation… and the troubles which I self-invite. The more I look closer at my troubles, the clearer it becomes to me, that, there are no troubles in my life of a third kind!

Troubles, which come in my life without my invitation, are the ones I have no control on… Like the bus or taxi I travel by get knocked off by some drunk-motorist; my house is destroyed in a fire, earthquake or flood;  a major illness of my own or my dearest ones; someone burgles into my house and cleans-up my  treasury; my bank goes bust… or, my children get into some major problems…

Now, though the above troubles might come into my life without my invitation and are beyond my control, I still have a choice over how I react when they come… What I am unable to change or control, I must learn to accept… and, that quiet dignity, that silent grace is the key for my inner peace…

Yes, like everyone else’s life, my life, too, has many such troubles.  But, acceptance doesn’t come easily to me… In the beginning, it is, always, the resistance and denial, blame and self-pity that come and rob me of my peace… And, then, slowly, I learn to come to terms with ‘what is’… the reality… I stop arguing with it, let go… accept. And, silence settles.

On the other hand, there are many troubles in my life, which are there – because I have invited them… through my own choices and decisions. Yes, I can, certainly, do something about them… I can change my behavior… make conscious choices… Learn to assert myself, learn to be objective and less sentimental while dealing with people around me… I can learn not to take others’ troubles upon me… I can learn to manage my money well, eat sensibly, take good rest, exercise, recreate… Above all, I can learn to be less reactive in life…

Yes, the things, which are directly under my control, I should be first able to deal with… As Stephen Covey tells us, the more we focus on these things, our power increases… On the other hand, the less we focus on these things and worry about the troubles that rock us without our control, we lose our strength and end up feeling helpless, victimized and, even, bitter in life…


This morning, I caught myself reacting at someone-else’s’ behavior… It continued for long... and I was feeling the loss of strength… I was feeling hurt and angry. Along with that, there was this feeling of being a victim… Then, all of a sudden – yes, right in the thick of my turmoil – I saw the reality: that, I was focusing on ‘other’s behavior’ and not my own. I, instantly, brought the focus back on mine… how I was reacting to someone else’s behavior… and the story that I made out of it…

And, it was all over!

There are only two kinds of troubles in my life… Only two.


GERALD D’CUNHA


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MUTHU KODI KAWARI HADA

Image
Pic.; Ashwin Mohta M y Hindi was always bad. It still is. One reason for this was, that they introduced Hindi for us only in 6 th standard. Or, was it in 8 th ? I don’t remember… I only remember struggling to write and read… leave alone speak! But, I loved Hindi movies, and, strangely, I could understand the dialogues and the lyrics of the songs… I used to sing those songs (of course when no one was around me!) as if I was the lyricist… One of the songs was a very funny one. ‘Muthu Kodi Kawari Hada’. It was from Mehmood’s super-hit comedy – ‘Do Phool’. I was a 15-year-old high-school boy when I had heard that song (not watched the movie). I could grasp the meaning of two words – ‘Muthu Kodi’… which meant ‘Give kiss’… But, what ‘Kawari Hada’ meant, I have no clue till date! It was just like ‘Why this kolaveri di’... Yes, why ask? Simply enjoy the beats… And, the beats are great… The rest... Who cares? Really! So, whatever bit of Hi...
Read more

SELLING MIRRORS IN THE CITY OF THE BLIND

Image
“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.” - Kabir T here is a universal human weakness – and it dates back to the days of fallen civilizations – and it is: to place people on pedestal and trying to be smothered by them, feel loved and protected in their company… worship them as mentors, heroes,  gurus, Mahagurus and Satgurus… Make these mortals larger-than-life cut-outs, worship them as flawless, pure and give one’s all… And, then, ‘take’ everything from them blindly as divine… Give everything to them blindly… Eventually, what happens is:  one more dangerous bondage… What was supposed to free you now becomes a new prison… It’s sad to see this happen! T his room, where I am writing this Post, has no image of any deity. I have no image of any Guru or Master around me… My question is: “Am I not able to feel close to Almighty God?  How ...
Read more

"HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS NOT A FAIRY-TALE... IT IS A CHOICE"

Image
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone… It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. Le Guin,  The Lathe of Heaven T welve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’…  Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’! I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise! B efore I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it… The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or pain...
Read more
THE WILD, WAYSIDE FLOWERS
There is, always, something extra-ordinary in the wild, wayside flowers...