Gerald D'Cunha

Pic.: Unnati Jiandani O ne of my friends’ father fought a court-case against his tenant for twelve long-years… and, finally, lost it. The house went to the tenant… My friend’s father couldn’t recover form the shock, till he died! Some years ago, when our servant was doing the house work, our TV fell off its stand and broke into pieces. We not only got mad at our servant, but we, also, kept worrying about ‘our loss’ for al long time! Years ago, a neighbor of mine was fired by his boss. He fought for his ‘job’ for full five years, only to lose at the end. He not only lost his job, he also lost his precious time, money and peace of mind. He hasn’t recovered from it, yet! Why do we cling, so desperately, to our material possessions… to our status, our positions? Why is it so difficult to love these things, yet, remain free from their bondage? Does attach...

I had taught Pooja some twenty-two years ago when she was in twelfth. She got married while she was still in Degree College and, the pulls and pressures of family life did not allow her to complete her graduation. Now, her son is a well-brought-up teenager and things are quite stabilized at the home-front; so, after all these long years, Pooja has decided to write her TY.B’Com examination, this year. She has been attending my classes regularly and I find her extremely focused and determined to complete her graduation. I am not writing about Pooja because she has decided to complete her graduation after a long gap of twenty-plus years. Certainly, that’s something admirable and very inspiring for all of us, who, often, give our busyness in life as a nice excuse to cover-up our laziness. Instead, the reason I am writing, today, about Pooja is: She lost her latest iPhone, two days ago! And, again, on the face of it, that doesn’t look like any cover-st...

The more I pause and think about it, the harder and truer it hits me: I have to find my own joy, in my daily little things… I have to do it for myself, in my own way... And, move on. No matter who the other person is, my joy is my own baby, my own responsibility. The other person may or may not be a partner in my joy. If he does, it is a surprise bonus… and if he doesn’t, it should not ruin my day. Often, when I have expectations from the other person, that he should be a partner in my joy… and, when that doesn’t happen – I see myself let down, bitter and sad, even angry and cynical.  It is a celestial feeling when someone tells me that he cares for me, loves me… It is equally a celestial feeling when I tell the same to someone… But then, honestly, these are just some nice words… that make us feel good for a while. The next moment, it is a new reality. I see myself all alone… as he sees himself to be… and, that’s how life is, t...

A s the music played, As the breeze danced,  As the silence beheld, As the eyes welled, As the the touch spoke,  As the heart stopped, As the souls met... I heard this from my heart's valleys: The fear should go… The lust should go… The clinging should go… The Terms should go, The blame should go, The guilt should go, The rage should go, The waiting should go, The hoping should go…  Then, everything came to a standstill! I am your friend… I behold! I behold!  I behold!... I said. GERALD D'CUNHA Pic.: Vivek D'Cunha

Why is this desire in me To possess things those are not mine? Why can’t I look at a Rainbow, Fully appreciate its glory… And then, let it just pass? Why is this desire in me To make a Rainbow, my own? W hen roses bloom in my garden, When they grow from their infancy to ripe age, And they pass when the time comes… Yes, when all this happens in my garden, There is a beauty of its own… Joy of its own… Freedom of its own! The Heavens want me to just behold this spectacle… A ll beautiful things Are supposed to go… Like a falling Star, Like a hiding Moon, Like a dipping Sun… There is a beauty in everything that passes… Everything that is destined to go… Everything that is supposed To Be! W hy do I desire To hear from someone: “Dear, you are amazing”? Or, “Dear, I love you”? I am not an ‘amazing soul’ Because someone tells me so… I am amazing, Because, I value what The other person say...

When You send me the Moon tonight, Send me also the promise: That, Love has nothing to do With the shape or size of the Moon! That, though the sea should explode or sleep As per the dictates of Heavens, My heart need not… My soul need not! Teach me never to care for another  More than I do it for myself… So that I stop causing wounds  To my own heart,  Over and over again. Teach me to care for another… Love another… But, teach me how and why not to  Assure another of my ‘undying love’… Teach me to help another, Love another, With my clean heart and pure faith… And help me never ever to make another Cling to my soul… Suffocate and suffer; And ,when that happens, Help me free the bird that is caged All with the false hope of my ‘undying love’! Help me, too, to be free in Love, And never to be blind-folded and fooled By the promise of another: “Dear, I ...

E ven the scary dream that I dream - I do no not like to let go… I want it! Last night, I had a bad dream, Which I couldn’t recollect this morning. Well, I knew it was not a pleasant dream… It was frightening! Still, I was feeling annoyed while I was rising up this morning… “What was that I was dreaming?” I found myself asking in frustration, “Why am I not able to recall this dream?” The nightmares scare me, As do my fears… The fact that they have left me - Often, I fail to notice… I fail to notice the night gone long  behind! GERALD D'CUNHA