MY PARTNER IN JOY





















The more I pause and think about it, the harder and truer it hits me: I have to find my own joy, in my daily little things… I have to do it for myself, in my own way... And, move on.


No matter who the other person is, my joy is my own baby, my own responsibility. The other person may or may not be a partner in my joy. If he does, it is a surprise bonus… and if he doesn’t, it should not ruin my day.


Often, when I have expectations from the other person, that he should be a partner in my joy… and, when that doesn’t happen – I see myself let down, bitter and sad, even angry and cynical. 


It is a celestial feeling when someone tells me that he cares for me, loves me… It is equally a celestial feeling when I tell the same to someone… But then, honestly, these are just some nice words… that make us feel good for a while.


The next moment, it is a new reality. I see myself all alone… as he sees himself to be… and, that’s how life is, this world is… this living is.


The reality hits me, then… and, I ask this to myself: 

Where is my joy coming from? 

And, from where my sorrow?



Even if the other person is a very significant one in my life, I am alone when it comes to finding my joy in my life… All partnerships in my ‘joy-business’ are only Joint Ventures – temporary. They are destined to dissolve as soon as the particular venture is done with…


Yes, it is here that I see myself struggling most of the times… Hoping people to be with me… nurturing my heart, helping me feel happy, always. Yes, I feel the source of my sorrow lies in constantly clinging to this kind of validation from people around me.


I need the other person. No, I don’t. 






I need to extend my hand 


to seek help… 


and, feel the love 


when the help comes. 


Then, I need to get up, 


thank, embrace, express… 


and move on. 


And, let the other person do, too…




 





 












There is no point in wishing people were different… their ways were different…


No one is here, around me, to make me happy in life. It is not their business. It is mine. As much as it is saner to think, that, I am not here to make another person happy. 



"Is it a harsh thought?"... I ask this morning

"Am I saying all this out of bitterness or a hurt?"



No, I am not. Because, I am really happy at this point of time. 


It feels very liberating to let another person be… Just like me!




GERALD D’CUNHA


Pics.: Ashwini Tilekar

Comments

TINA said…
Very reassuring post... thank you.

--- Tina
March 2, 2012 at 12:24 PM
Gerald D'Cunha said…
Thank u Tina. Glad u liked this piece.

Read often.

Love,

GERRY
March 2, 2012 at 1:12 PM
Anonymous said…
Liked the article... felt good.

.. Neena
March 2, 2012 at 3:43 PM
Gerald D'Cunha said…
Thanks Neena,

Pl read often,

Love,

GERRY
March 2, 2012 at 4:42 PM
ranjini.b said…
true sir.. i read d right article at the right time..
people r nt always d same.. many a times we r left alone.. but as rightly said happiness is our own baby ,and we need to take care of it..
God doesnt giv us what we want everytime but he surely givs us wat we need everytime...
March 3, 2012 at 12:12 AM
Gerald D'Cunha said…
I liked the way u ended ur comment, Ranjini... "God doesn't give us what we 'want'... but, He surely gives us what we 'need'!" Wow! very profound!

I am going to write on it, dear, this morning!

And, that is for u, I dedicate!

Have a great day!

Love,

Sir
March 3, 2012 at 9:11 AM
Shirley said…
People always say that,khushiyo mein sab dete heh saath,par dukh mein koi nahi...

But reading this post assures us that though there's no one with us in our sorrows but then OUR JOY is also only ours..its our baby n its within us.The ones who seems to b there r temporary they will leave the way they left us in our sorrows.

thank you sir.
March 3, 2012 at 11:38 AM
Gerald D'Cunha said…
U have rightly seen this truth, Sherley.

It is always pointing at us... yes, it is for us to find our own joy!

Thanks,

Love,

GERRY
March 3, 2012 at 12:23 PM
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