THE EASE OF EXISTENCE

March 24, 2012

“Sir, Relax! Easy.” My dentist would tell me, invariably, always. “Loosen up, sir… You are too tensed… Relax… Easy!”

And, by the time I had loosened up, the drilling would be over! The pain just didn’t exist!

“Easy does it!” And, Easy does it, always!

Easy did it when I was a small baby… I just went about my world laughing, crying, messing and breaking… I went about singing and dancing… I went about falling and rising. I was loose as leaves and light as feathers… I spoke like Demosthenes… sang like Bryan Adams and danced like Michael Jackson!

Who said I was afraid of stage? Who said I had self-doubts? Who?

Yes, when I was easy, I did it!

Easy did it when I was a little older… I played with my friends… and, I fought with them, too many times. Still, before the Sun went down by the same evening, I was back with my friends in the playground!

Who said we fought? Who said the world had enemies? Who?

Easy did it!

Even when I was young, I would mess up things… My parents would get angry and they would scold me… even whack me… I would feel hurt, sad, angry and lonely… But, before the Moon came on sky the next night, I would be back in my parents’ fold… Everything seemed fair in love and war! Yes, it did!

Who said my parents had an issue with me? Or, I had? Who said I was hurt and lonely? Who?

Easy did it!

Then I became ‘big’… and, it was no-more easier to be ‘Easy’! My messing was not just messing, and the scolding for my messing was no more just scolding. My mind attached a ‘special’ meaning to this… A fight with my friends had to be bitter… and an issue with my parents had to be grudged in my heart… The stage became an explosive field to walk on… I dreaded in my heart… Someone always laughed as I attempted to speak in public… sing or dance… It was not easy to go back and play with my friends, after a fight… nor was it easy to say, “I am sorry mom… It was my mistake.”

Who said, “Easy does it”? Who?

I am a MAN, now… and, all of a sudden, Life seems tough, and the world seems a dangerous place to live in! Everything does not seem fair in love and war… Whoever said it, he does seem wrong! Stupid!

Just last night, a young girl cried on the phone saying, “Sir, the paper was so tough… I don’t know what will happen?” Now, I had taught this girl, and taught her well… and she was a brilliant student, extremely committed and focused. I had wished her well before the exam. “Beti, my best wishes to you… Relax, the paper will go well!” I had prayed. And, now that the exam was over… and the paper was tough… My best wishes had no effect… The hard work and dedication did not seem to pay… The Life seemed, suddenly, tough… and the world a dangerous place to live in!

What would I tell this girl, who was now crying on the phone?

“Beti, it is okay… Trust me, it is really okay!” Yes, I did say this. “You had given your best… and, that’s all you could do… Feel the fear… and, move on with the same zest and same fire!”

I hope, the young girl has…

And, just this morning, this young man, who works for a multinational, had come to see me. He is 28… married, and they are expecting their first child soon. He is good-looking, very articulate and has a house of his own.

What is his problem?

“I do not know, where to start… There are so many problems!” this young man told me. “I am confused… I feel I have done nothing in life… I want to achieve more. Succeed!”

“You won’t achieve more, my friend,” I said, “I don’t think you will ever succeed!”

That could be the cruelest statement one would expect to hear when been for counseling. Yet, here he was hearing from me. “No, if you do not feel successful here, now… you will not feel successful there, tomorrow!”

I told the young man, “If a great organization, good package and fine working hours keep you unfulfilled, tensed and constantly worried, now… then, what is the guarantee that you will be fulfilled, relaxed and happy even if you own that company tomorrow?... Wherever you go, you carry yourself, my friend!”

I hope, the young man was able to grasp the meaning of my words.