Gerald D'Cunha

  “A goodness you do by waiting for a return is not a goodness, but just a cunning investment in the future.” Mehemet Murat Ildan   L ife is short… It gets even shorter through our complaints. When our complaints occupy our major mind-space, it is difficult for us to notice and appreciate the beautiful gifts we are blessed with… Complaints make life look like a bottomless pit… No matter how valuable gifts God puts into it, they all go down into this pit with no bottom! Our complaints breed our unhappiness – our disappointments, hurts, sorrow, self-pity and pain. A major complaint, which many of us carry in life, is, that we do not find people reciprocating our goodness towards them... Sounds familiar? Let’s see it from both ends… We complain, saying, that those who we have helped are ungrateful to us. On the other hand, others who have helped us complain, saying, that we are ungrateful to them. Thus, just as we feel hurt and angry, there are others feeling ...

  “Some of us are busy doing things; Some of us are busy complaining.” Debasish Mridha   I t was late in the night… around 11 to be precise. In one of the WhatsApp groups, to which I belonged, the Admin made the sad announcement of the demise of   a fellow-member’s father. The deceased was a senior citizen, who had some health issues. But, he was an affectionate soul. As is the case in such situations, the members of the group instantly started posting RIP’s and Om Shanti’s… from all sides. Not even ten minutes had gone by, the Admin made one more announcement… This time, about the shocking demise of a 43-year-old lady. She and her husband were in a critical condition battling Covid. She succumbed. The group members, once again, started posting RIP’s, Om Shanti’s “Shocked!”… “Cant’ Believe”… “Sad” and so on. Not even another five minutes had passed by. A young member, who is a chronic cribber in the group, came out with a very trivial complaint… Instantly anothe...

T he old advice goes: “When you are angry, count ten…. When you are very angry, count hundred. Obviously, that little space of time – perhaps a few seconds – can make all the difference between war and peace. Just hold back… Just hang on… Just take a long, deep breath before you say or do or react in the fit of your anger. I speak from my own experience… I am a human, a mortal… I err, I lose my temper quite often… and, whenever I have reacted in anger, it has neither helped me nor the cause for which I had exploded. It has only complicated things for me… no matter how much ever I have tried to justify my action… The reality is: giving in to anger and doing things impulsively is lack of self-control, lack of maturity. Period. On a scale of ten, I may score six or seven as far as this test goes. Not bad, I suppose… I console myself. The same old advice goes to all of us who complain about things which are ‘wrong’ in our lives. “When you have a complaint, count ten…...

I s cribbing in our DNA? Though we cannot generalize it, most of us crib and complain about some things, sometimes… if not about all things, all the times. So, it is very much there in our DNA! I do complain about some things, sometimes… Yes, I do crib about them. But, mercifully, I am not a ‘chronic’ or a ‘habitual’ cribber. If you sweetly explain to me – rather gently massage my ego a little – that is enough to pacify me. I will immediately stop complaining and cribbing! This post is about those who are hardcore cribbers… the chronic ones… who try to find fault in everything, everywhere and everyday… who have made cribbing their business, even their livelihood.  How to deal with such a cribber? “Make him the Mess Secretary?” A retired gentleman told us, last night. Obviously, we were discussing about some chronic cribbers around us. The gentleman took us back to our school and college days. He narrated, “There was this warden in our college hostel who k...

Pic.: Anima D'Cunha O n Sunday, we had the certification programme of our 2016-batch of P.D. students. During this programme, we had released our latest book – ‘What Makes Me Confident’. The book contained the impromptu speeches made by our students, both little-ones and young-ones. I had referred them as ‘Saplings’ and ‘Young Trees’ respectively. The book also contained articles from some successful individuals, who I had referred as ‘Mature Trees’. A copy of the new book was given to all present. Towards the end of the programme, 11-year-old Sumeet came to me and said, “Sir, my speech is not there in the book.” Sumeet had been a very restless – high-energy kind – kid all along. I had repeatedly asked students to hand over both the hard copies and the soft copies of their write-ups; I had taken utmost care while putting together the book. So, when the boy pointed to me the lapse, I not only got a lot surprised, but I, also, felt a little bad for this boy… Some...

Pic.: Uttam Ghosh “A simple way to be grateful is to close your eyes for a minute and think of those who never got a chance to open them.” - Unknown W hen I was young, I, too, was an angry young-man! I was angry with God, my parents and the circumstances – for not providing me with comforts which many others around me were provided with. And, I believe, I was not the only young-man, at that time, who was angry for a reason like that… Young men and women are angry, even today, for the same reason. They have been so, I am sure, for centuries before I was a young man… Well, as I, always, say, “The end of our anger is the birth of our compassion.” One needs to be angry – pass through those flames – in order to experience silence and peace within… I did quite early as a young man… I learnt to be grateful for whatever God had blessed me with… and there were so many things in my life, I had to be grateful for. I learnt to lo...

Pic.: Sherry Haridas “My  mother  always told me not to handle a buffalo by its tail, but always catch it by its horns... And I have used that lesson in everything in my life,  including the Railways.” Lalu Prasad Yadav W ith your mother’s advice, Laluji, you really did a good job as our Railway minister. And, you know what, sir: my mother, while raising her five sons in our village, would, always, tell: “Sons, remember the old saying: “ The dead buffalo, always, gave more milk.” Sir, you want to know why she told us this? Because, when the buffalo was alive, we would only complain how useless the she-buffalo was...  Her milk was not only less, it was bad, too! So, whenever a buffalo died in our village, and we saw her master beating his chest screaming his lungs out: “What a great buffalo she was... How good the milk was... How much she gave,” yes, when we saw that sight, our mother would point to the heart-broken master and te...

  Pic.: Fr. Reginald Pinto The worst thing one can do when someone comes with a complaint is: argue. There is trouble ahead, beware! No matter how nasty the complainant is, muster all the patience in your heart and listen… even if it means plugging both your ears with some hard cotton! But, listen to him… Give him the impression that he is being heard, respected… Not being ignored, neglected… taken for granted. I just spent some thirty minutes listening to a certain complaint from a gentleman. He started on a composed note and I handled his complaint keeping my cool intact. But, as the discussion proceeded, the gentleman became quite vocal and kept saying the same thing over and over… I could feel my patience waning… and, I found myself arguing with him, on and off, during our discussion. But, the moment I tried to argue, I could feel things working against me… I quickly changed my track, and with all my sincerity, I told the gentleman ...

I know a gentleman. Whenever I meet him, I enjoy asking him the routine question, “How’s life?” For, his answer - very typical of how he goes about his life – charges me: “Great! No complaints!” Imagine, if we start greeting each day with such an expression, and really, really mean it… how will our day be? “Life is great”!” is not just another statement… It is, indeed, the greatest ‘Thank-you’ we can ever say to God… “My life is blessed… Halleluiah!” Paulo Coelho has a famous line: “Every blessing ignored becomes a curse!” Now, let’s read it again… When our day starts, if we do not choose to see the blessings in our lives - scores of them… small ones and big ones - yes, if we ignore these blessings which abound all around in our lives, that very act of ignorance, that very choice we make not to acknowledge and feel grateful for our blessings – most certainly, becomes our curse! It is bound to rob us of our da...