Gerald D'Cunha

“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” Brene Brown R ashi is 23-year-old. She has some health issues - some physical, some mental. She lost her father when she was writing her tenth-standard Board exams. But, she wrote, when asked to write about her strengths, “I can be emotionally strong.” In her short explanation, Rashi described, how, when her dad collapsed and died, everyone at home – her mother, brother, grandmother – broke down uncontrollably, she remained strong and   calmed down everyone around her. Similarly, Rashi wrote about what she was good at and loved to do the most – baking. “She makes excellent cakes,” says her mother with pride… Yet, Rashi’s mother is concerned about her 23-year-old daughter, because of the young one’s certain physical and mental health issues… “Sir, will she be able to communicate clearly and logically? Will she be independent, show self-motivation?”… Concerns like these. I have been helping Rashi for some days no...

  “ A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.” Henry David Thoreau   I remember feeling the strongest, the most confident and secure – when I had decided to knock on strangers’ doors, telling them, “I want to teach young boys and girls.” That’s when I was just 20-something… I was a newcomer in this big city… consumed with the desire to teach… and restless. I was jobless and penniless, too. The earlier evening, TC had caught me ticketless at Mankhurd railway station, which, in those days, was the last Harbour-line station. The next local arrived only after 45 minutes… and the fine for a ticketless passenger from VT (now CST) to Mankhurd was a ‘princely’ sum of ten rupees and fifty paise! And, I had nothing in my pocket to pay the TC and get off his hook. Nor did I possess a wrist watch or a ring to pledge as security till I could arrange the fine amount. But, that evening, when I went through some forty-five minutes of embarr...

  “Your talent is God’s gift to you; What you do with your talent is your gift to God.” Leo Bascaglia   I n life, need we do only ‘big things’ to feel good about ourselves? And, need we do things only with great fanfare to find validation? Many a time, doing ‘small things’, quietly, seems not only unprofitable, but also unfashionable… But, trust me, doing ‘small things’, quietly, is the surest way to truly feel good about ourselves. On the other hand, the desire to do ‘big things’ with great fanfare is a bottomless pit… It seldom gives us a true feeling of self-confidence. Therefore, the key to self-confidence is to do small things with a big heart. One way of reaching out to others – by doing small things, quietly – is through our talents. We all know, that our talents are God’s gifts to us. And, as Leo Bascaglia says, “What we do with our talents is our gifts to God.” For example, God has given me the gift of teaching, writing and motivating others. I hav...

  “A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog… when you are   just as hungry as the dog.” Jack London   T he other day, I was telling three of my young nephews, how,   in my view, ‘sharing’ was one of the best ways to feel good about ourselves in life. I was telling them, that ‘feeling good about ourselves’, also, meant ‘feeling confident’ in life! What, in my view, ‘sharing’ means? Is there something with all of us, that we can share with others? Do we need to ‘possess’ something first, in order to ‘share’ with others? One of my nephews was of the firm belief, that we were able to share only when we possessed enough… I agreed with him, before I could convey what I had in my mind. S haring – call it ‘Giving’ or ‘Charity’ or ‘Empowering’ or ‘Reaching out’ or ‘Touching lives’ whatever, whatever, whatever – comes from the intangible state of our hearts, rather than the tangible state of our possessions. From this paradigm...

  “A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect.” Jonathan Lockwood Hule   I don’t wear any gold, not even my engagement and wedding rings. It doesn’t make me less-committed to my marriage and my life-partner. However, I admire others who wear gold and precious stones… Need I feel less-decorated? Likewise, I do not wear a watch. It doesn’t make me less-respectful for time or my appointments. Again, I admire others wearing beautiful watches… Need I feel less-modern? Ditto about pens. So often, some of my well-wishers have gifted me fine, expensive pens. I have never used any of them… My shirt- pocket either doesn’t carry any pen, or carries a 5-rupee ball pen! Need I feel inferior as a writer or teacher or whatever? The finest pens, which I, often, receive from some of my well-wishers, go around to the those who, I think, deserve them… When I see them using those pens, I feel extremely happy… Yes, I know, that it would break my well-wishers’ hearts if th...

  “Count your many blessings, Name them one by one; And it will surprise you What the Lord has done.” From the song/hymn ‘Count Your Blessings’   I think, one of the greatest blessings in life is to be able to ‘stay relevant’ as you age. By this, I mean, to be able to keep ‘contributing’… keep ‘giving’. There is something of value in all of us, which God has placed in all of us. Now, that ‘something’ can be one or two talents, skills or strengths of ours. Most of us think, that, while our talents are God-given, our skills and strengths are our own. But, the more we reflect on this, the more we realize, that even to own some of our skills and strengths, we need God’s grace. When we acknowledge this truth, we feel confident and peaceful. I completed 63 yesterday. A thought dominates my mind and heart: “Have I been able to stay relevant, by being able to keep contributing and giving through my God-given gifts?” When my mind and heart say ‘Yes’, I feel the surge...

  “There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries.” W. J. Cameron A dear friend of mine, who is a spiritual teacher, would, often, joke about his own fraternity, just to drive home the point: Here on earth, no one is ‘free’ from the human desire to be liked, followed and praised. “Do you know, that there is competition among we religious teachers, too?” He would, often, poke fun at his own fraternity. “Our popularity is measured by the no of footwear outside our doors?” Well, that may have been a joke my friend would crack just to make us feel less burdened with our own human nature to seek more attention. But, the truth has been – in my opinion - this: Freedom is tough! T oday is 26 th December.   In once England-ruled countries, it was called the ‘Boxing Day’. How did this name come about? One of the versions is that, on 26 th , the servants were sent on a day off with boxes of gifts… “Physical greeting cards are extinct these days. Greetings ...

  “He who has no Christmas in his heart, will never find it under a Tree.” Roy L. Smith’s L ast night, a dear friend of mine, a Sikh by faith, who lives in London, shared with me the picture of a beautiful Christmas tree decorated by her two teenager girls… “Our Christmas Tree”, my friend captioned it warmly. Well, the Christmas Tree hadn’t come up, yet, at our place. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” I consoled myself. “He who has no Christmas in his heart, will never find it under a Tree,” I reminded myself with Roy L. Smith’s words. I am inspired by Christmas season. More than that, I am incredibly inspired by Jesus Christ’s life. But, then, as I became an adult, my idea of Christmas has undergone a sea-change. The hype and hoopla and the utterly humble crib, to me, look a complete contrast. In my mind, and in my heart, I prefer to remember Jesus Christ quietly… Yes, with least glitter. “Come on,” many times, I hear my friends and relatives saying. A lot of preparation goes ...