Gerald D'Cunha

“What people in the world think of you is really none of your business.” ―  Martha Graham   “H ow is the situation now?” I checked with this person, last night, “Time heals,” I added. “Situation is the same; but, I am coping.” The person replied, this morning. “Cope the best way you can; it won’t leave you weak. Trust me,” I consoled. “Keep me in your prayers,” the person wrote. Of course, I would. But, as you know, like most of us do, I, too, won’t go my knees before a picture or idol of God and pray, “O God, have mercy on my friend.” There is no need for any such prayers… “How’s the situation now? Time heals.” --   Was it not my prayer in itself? When my troubled friend tries sincerely to cope with his/her situation, I think, sooner or later, the situation ‘will change’. Meanwhile, you and I have our own ‘situations’ to cope with… and, we find ourselves saying the same thing to our own well-wishers: “Please keep me in your prayers.” At the end of ...

  “Walking is the exact balance between spirit and humility.” Gary Snyder   S rinath Shetty was my student when he was doing his T.Y. B.Com some 38 years ago. He came from a working-class family with zero business background. But, being a disciplined and determined young man, he went about acquiring one of the chemical factories his uncle had built… and, from there, he never looked back. Yesterday, Srinath and his wife Neeta had organized a puja to celebrate the house warming of their new abode… It’s a massive mansion with more than 4,000 S.F. From the 23 rd floor height, the large windows treated the beholders’ eyes to some of the breathtaking expanse… One could stand there and get immersed in the stunning silence, feeling small… I said – ‘Feeling small’… I expressed my joy and gratitude in a message I had typed on my way back home… Such an exclusive spread of delicacies… and such genuine warmth. Srinath had worked hard to deserve this height –- literally –- thr...

  “On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own buttocks.” Michel de Montaigne   A ttentive listening has another name: Humility. Putting it in another way, we cannot pay complete attention, unless we listen with a desire to learn… and, for that, we need to drop our guards, our defenses, our judgements. In fact, the thought, that ‘We know’ blocks us from absorbing the good lessons from others… Often, we listen with an intention to defend our positions… We are ready with our responses even before the other person has completed his statements… We are busy judging the other person… We are busy proving our knowledge… We seem to get a strange kick in being right… “I will not utter a word unless you look up and listen to me completely,” I said, once again, this morning, to couple of my students, “Your eyes listen better than your ears do.” From my decades of teaching experience, I have realized this: Attentive listening stems from our desire to le...

    “Growing old is mandatory; but, growing up is optional.” Walt Disney   W e don’t think about ageing when we are young… and, why should we? But, when we are getting older, whether we like it or not, we realize, that we are no younger… Now, no matter what positive philosophy we choose to weave around getting older – ‘aging gracefully’, or ‘age is only a number’, or ‘age is only in your mind’ and so on - the hard truth is this: Growing old is mandatory… But, what we try to do is to choose the option: never to cease growing up… That’s what the legendary Walt Disney said, and did… The Disney Land, Disney World, Disney Movies – everything about Walt Disney testifies for his commitment to remain childlike, never to lose the sense of wonder… curiosity and that incessant hunger to keep growing up …   Y esterday, our son turned 33. During the day, he shared, in our family group, an AI-generated picture of himself – he, at 33, hugging his baby self. Probab...

  “The chief proof of man’s real greatness lies   in his perception of his own smallness.” Arthur Conan Doyle   W ell, there are these super-wealthy, who are hailed as connoisseurs/patrons of art, and they are ready to buy a piece of art – a panting in particular – for any astronomical price. But, you see, the painting has to be a ‘original’… So, when an original painting of Picasso, Michael Angelo or M.F. Hussain goes for millions and crores, a thought hits me: “Who, in deed, is the original artist – the real Creator?” To grasp the depth of my question, just stop on your way home, this evening, and have a good look at a few stray cats… Behold the colours of their bodies, their eyes… every hair – the softness, the teeth and the paws of those little creatures. Ask: “Who made them?”… A Picasso, a Michael Angelo or a Hussain? So much for our great pride in feeling, that we are the original creators. Look, we, at best, can be the ‘original duplicators’. That’s i...

  “We must adjust to changing times, and still hold steadfast to unchanging principles.” Jimmy Carter   P urpose in life keeps us productive, useful… Should I say ‘Youthful’, too? We just have to look at former American President Jimmy Carter’s life and legacy… He passed away, at 100, just two weeks ago. Barring a couple of years before that century-long life, he lived with a clear purpose through ‘Habitat for Humanity’, in which, he and his wife Rosalynn had involved immediately after his four-year-term was over as 39 th   President of America. Leading from the front, for close to forty-five years, since then, the Carters inspired countless volunteers to build thousands of affordable houses, both, inside and outside America… President Carter, through these years, survived brain cancer, a hip surgery, multiple stiches around his wounded eye and many other challenges. What has been endearing was the childlike enthusiasm and steadfast faith he and his wife exud...

  “Teaching kids to count is fine; but, teaching them what counts is best.” Bob Talbert L ast afternoon, a husband and a wife had come to meet me. They wanted to enroll their son for class 11. As usual, I kept addressing them as ‘Sir’ and ‘Ma’am’. As the discussion was progressing, the woman, with a slight amusement, said, “Sir, my husband was your student some thirty years ago… You shouldn’t call him ‘Sir’.” Well, only after I learnt, that I had taught this gentleman three decades ago, I began to remember him… He was very lean and boyish… Now, he had put on a lot of weight and grown a thick beard, too. Moreover, they both seemed quite affluent the way they carried themselves… Would I change the gear and call him by his first name, now? “Annadata sukhibhava,” I said to the woman, a little playfully, but really meaning what I was saying, “A parent is a parent, Ma’am… My student is a parent now… Addressing him as ‘Sir’ will help both of us.” J ust in the morning, yeste...

  “Thanksgiving is an attitude, but must be rooted in the ‘gift of life’, if we ever hope to be thankful for the ‘gifts of life’.” Graig D. Lounsbrough   “L ife is a gift.” Like many others around me, I use this expression quite often. However, ‘using’ this expression and ‘feeling’ this expression are two different things. Like the quote above reminds me, that the ‘thanksgiving attitude’ must be rooted deep in the ‘gift of life’, if I ever hope to be thankful for the ‘gifts of life’… This means, the ‘gift of life’ precedes all other ‘gifts of life’. F or several years, I have been showing this touching ad-film (from Lifebuoy) during our Personality Development sessions. Little kids, young kids and adults, alike, get moved by its core message. Here is this film…   “What separates privilege from entitlement is the gratitude,” says Brene Brown. All privileges are Life’s blessings. But, we tend to take them for granted. Yes, often, we arrogantly assume, t...