Gerald D'Cunha

  “Sometimes, truths are what we run from; sometimes, they are what we seek.” R. D. Ronald   “L ook at me when I teach; your eyes listen more than your ears.” Invariably, I say this to my young students, a dozen times, every day. From my teaching experience of nearly five decades (I started teaching when I was about 17… and, this month, I will be 67!), I have come to realize this: We fully ‘listen’ when our ears and eyes both pay attention. In fact, eyes do a better job… But, then, I have realized this, too… The ears may hear and eyes may see, but true listening takes place only when our hearts are open, only when we listen from our hearts… So, fifty years or hundred years – I wonder, how many of my students have really ‘learnt’, really paid attention to my teaching… And, that applies to me as well - to their teacher… F or fifty long years, have I taught those thousands of young kids with my full attention… with the clean intention to help them, guide them, emp...

  “Rational behaviour requires theory; reactive behaviour requires only reflex action.” W. Edwards Deming   N o matter how hard I try not to judge people – and their behaviour – the fact is: I do! Now, by ‘judging people’s behaviour’ – I do not mean any unusual behaviour. I try to read too much, often unnecessarily, into the usual – commonplace – behaviour of others, even. I think, it has a lot to do with my childhood insecurities. For, I see myself slipping into that victim mode easily… It’s only when I allow that moment to ‘be’… and see my own behaviour with a little more kindness - and neither with justification nor with condemnation – that, I am able to smile at the situation… “So, it’s not about other person’s behaviour,” I end up reminding myself, “It’s about my own: how I react to theirs!” As I said, I am talking about the simple, commonplace situations. Like these… I have known this young parent for many years. Once, I was his teacher. Now, his own son...

L ong before I started blogging, I had been writing down my daily Notes in dairies… I used to write them down along with the date and I continued to do it for years and years. So, I have them written down in scores of dairies! And, what did I write in them? That’s interesting! My problems, my anxieties, my anger, my jealousy, my fears, my longings and frustrations, my hopes and despair, my resolves and my cowardice… Well, I learnt early not to disown anything in life… If they were my feelings, then, I had to capture them as they were – and as much as possible to be honest about them… That experience had been very therapeutic, very healing and empowering… Incidentally, whenever someone read them, they would exclaim, “So beautiful… So reassuring!” Blogging happened some ten years ago… and, what I did in my dairies; I did, now, on my PC… But, Notes remained Notes… My feelings remained my feelings… My objective remained the same old one: to help me heal myself! ...

F rom a Nobody we strive hard and long to be a Somebody… and, we call that process ‘Success’. We crave for more recognition and more visibility… more wealth, fame and power… may be more respect and honour. And then we experience in our hearts that deep need to stay there for long, if not go further up. But, then, it is not going to be so… never. In Life, what goes up has to come down… On top, there is hardly any space… Someone is going to dislodge us… We are going to slide down, and fast… For all of us, this is a scary thought, extremely painful one! All this time, we spent so much of our time and energy – invested so much of our emotions – on reaching the top, becoming rich and famous  and achieving more and more visibility. So, the thought of losing it all… going out of visibility… yes, it is one of our most nightmarish thoughts… How can we survive without being recognized, respected and glorified? It is as tough as coming out of any other major addiction ...

On Sunday, when my wife and I had gone to watch ‘Premium Rush’, we met our friends Sunil and Komal in the theatre.  I said ‘friends’… Yes, they are. However, about twenty-five years ago, they both were my students. Both were keen to do Chartered Accountancy after their graduation. Doing Chartered Accountancy had always been tough… very competitive… With tight results, even the brightest kids had to repeat the exams, very often.  But, I do not remember seeing either Sunil or Komal approaching their dream with any sort of over-anxiety… They weren’t neurotic, panic-stricken, at all, as far as my memory goes back.   Yet, both of them achieved their coveted goals smoothly… Yes, with appropriate amount of passion, commitment and focus.  Today, both of them are well-placed in their field. Yash is the only child of Sunil and Komal, who, now, is doing his eleventh standard Science. Incidentally, Yash had been under me in our grooming sess...

When did you last hear the old saying, “Familiarity breeds contempt”? Well, I just used it in my reply to Yojana in her FB message box. When I was just a young-and-raw teacher and had joined a Junior college to teach, I was very self-conscious. No doubt, the young teachers get a massive fanfare… but, in my case, it would make me very scared. Oh that shyness cocoon! I haven’t still come out of it! You know, though we love the kick of limelight and adoration of our fans, at the end of the day, it is only the closeness with our own hearts… yes, that alone we all, seriously, take to bed!  I am very happy to have found, in my early days of teaching, such fabulous colleagues and students. The warmth, support and guidance which I received in those days – my struggling days – were very, very important… I still cherish those memories in my heart… I shall, always, look back on this, with a deep sense of gratitude.  Yojana was a twelfth-stand...

      Some months ago, I had written about Buzzo. He lives just outside my class with his wife, Sony.      In that particular Post, I had written about their just-born babies… about eight of them. “Soooo cute!!!” This was how my students - particularly, the young girls - would fall on these babies! That’s some months ago. Today, no baby is seen around… No one knows what has happened to them… and, no one cares, either! A street dog is a street dog. Buzzo is a street dog. He was born here, outside my class, and, as his fate would have it, he chose to pitch his tent, here, right outside my class… and, for years now.  Buzzo is huge, and blessed with his golden body. His loyal companion, Sony, is coal  black… She is fragile and slow, unlike her big, agile hubby. It is so hot outside, these days. They both come, every second hour, t...