Gerald D'Cunha

  “The gem cannot be polished without friction; nor man perfected without trials.” Chinese Proverb   M y wife and I had attended the wedding reception of Chandini, who was my student, ten years ago. Her brother Suraj and their father Prakash – all had been my students, particularly that of the Personality Development programme conducted by The Dawn Club. Chandini’s three cousins, Kanchan, Shradha and Sneha, and even Kanchan’s son Kapil – all of them had been students of these programmes. Yesterday, at the reception, I had the privilege of meeting all of them and several more. I am talking about many students who crossed my path over past forty or so years. Almost all of them, are, now, well-placed in life. And, almost all of them tell me proudly, that they keep talking about me to their young children, who, now, go to the ‘finest schools’ around the world. Shradha, who lives in Netherlands, was so excited to see me, that she, oblivious of the guests around her, was a...

“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” Brene Brown R ashi is 23-year-old. She has some health issues - some physical, some mental. She lost her father when she was writing her tenth-standard Board exams. But, she wrote, when asked to write about her strengths, “I can be emotionally strong.” In her short explanation, Rashi described, how, when her dad collapsed and died, everyone at home – her mother, brother, grandmother – broke down uncontrollably, she remained strong and   calmed down everyone around her. Similarly, Rashi wrote about what she was good at and loved to do the most – baking. “She makes excellent cakes,” says her mother with pride… Yet, Rashi’s mother is concerned about her 23-year-old daughter, because of the young one’s certain physical and mental health issues… “Sir, will she be able to communicate clearly and logically? Will she be independent, show self-motivation?”… Concerns like these. I have been helping Rashi for some days no...

  “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” Mark Twain   O ne of the things parents will never be able to give their children is the fire in the belly… That one thing, the kid has to ignite on its own. But, if you ask me, ‘How’… I can only say, “I don’t know’. Yes, all that I know is, that the kid has to ignite it on its own… What is common – and quite natural – for parents to do is to give their kids a better education, together with better privileges… a better living condition, better facilities, better everything. The thought process of the parents, by and large, is this: “I had to go through a lot of struggles in my life… I was deprived of all the privileges… but, I do not want my children to go through similar struggles… I want them to provide with the best possible privileges.” And, that’s what my grandparents did to my parents, my parents did to me and my brothers, and we have done to our own children, and our children will do to theirs…...

  “Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for life.” An old saying   I am believer in education… A great believer. But, to me, ‘education’ should be neither confined to the boundaries of schools and colleges, nor it should end when we come out of them. Just as the thirst and hunger of our bodies last a lifetime, so do the thirst and hunger of our hearts and minds… I said ‘hearts and minds’! I was the first graduate in our household. My parents barely been there; and grandparents, never! So, when I had a fortune of joining the first standard, at the age of six, it was a local church-school. The school had classes up to standard five. So, this school, always, had that badge - ‘Primary’. When I look back, I really smile… the medium was Kannada and the language we spoke inside was either, Kannada, Tulu or Konkani. English was foreign; only the rich kids spoke it! The school building was a humble building block… There were no de...

  “You could jump so much higher when you had somewhere safe to fall.” Liane Moriarty   S ome days ago, I had asked 13-year-old Darshil and his 11-year-old sister, Tirtha, to write at least five of their privileges in life. That day, during the Zoom session, I told them the story of Ekalavya, the tribal boy from Mahabharata. I tell about this boy, Ekalavya, in every Personality-development session, while helping kids, youngsters or adults to become self-confident and proactive persons… I call it ‘The Spirit of Ekalavya’ and, often, ‘The School of Ekalavya’. What Ekalavya did was the most proactive act towards building his self-confidence… No blaming, no self-pitying and no reacting. So, to me, Ekalavya was a better student, a better learner, a better young man than Arjuna. I am not interested in the archery… The story gives us enough proof for his brilliance in archery, too. But, then, to me, that’s a small feat on his part… The greater feat was, that he beat Arjuna,...

“T here is no free lunch in life,” I told  Varun*, this morning. He had come to attend the Tax class (Direct Tax). Varun’s parents, who are both doctors, are my friends. Some months ago, when Varun had decided to change his stream from Engineering to Commerce, I was approached to do two things: 1. To provide a solid foundation to Varun in important Commerce subjects like Accountancy, Costing and Taxation so that he would be able to take off smoothly. 2. To motivate him to be a self-starter and develop a winning attitude. I have had wonderful experience over last two-three months. Varun has been very receptive and has not disappointed me. However, as a young boy, Varun is no different from his peers… He loves to chill out with his friends, play competitive football and video games, watch movies and attend late-night parties… Move around with friends, both boys and girls… invite them over for lunch and sleep-overs… And, importantly, bully his kid brother,...

Pic.: Nishtha Narryani “A   man needs   to look, not down, but up to standards set so much above his ordinary self as to make him feel that he is   himself   spiritually the underdog.” Irving Babbitt I t is just the start of the academic year. Though I don’t believe in holding series of tests and judging my students by the marks they have scored, I relentlessly instill in them the value of being focused, determined and self-disciplined in life. “It starts from being clear about your goal... Fix it high, and fix it now,” I drill into their heads, “Once you have done it, and decided to have it badly, no one needs to remind you, coax you, least of all, force you to do your work.” The message sinks in most of the time, and in most of the hearts. In some hears, it takes more time... but, it does sink in, for sure. Why am I so confident that all my students take home my message? Because, all of them want to succeed in life! ...

I had been to my bank just a while before. As I was standing at the counter, a middle-aged man approached me with a Pay-in-slip in his hand and requested me if I could fill it up for him. I was in a hurry… and, I was just one man behind for my turn to come. I felt sympathy to this less privileged man – as far as literacy was concerned – still, at that moment, my focus was never to waste my time and get out of that place. For a fraction of a minute, I was in a fix: “What should I do?”   “Don’t worry,” I told him gently, “I will fill up for you as soon as I am done with my work. Is it okay?” The man’s face lit up with relief. Just then, I heard another gentleman telling me, “Give here, I will do.” The man thanked me for my kindness, though I hadn’t actually helped him and went with the Good Samaritan to a corner to get the form filled.  I did not feel the burden of any guilt as I had done from my end what was best possible. Thou...