Gerald D'Cunha

  “At the heart of all anger, all grudges, and all resentment, you’ll find a fear that hopes to stay anonymous.” Donald L. Hicks   “H ow’s is your health?”… a woman asked me, gently, a while ago. I had many options to choose my reply from: “Not so good”… “Doctors say this and that”… “Reports say this and that”… Well, these kinds of responses come quite easily… Complaints immediately draw sympathy, you see. And - we may not like to admit it – we long for sympathy from others. But, then, if I had replied to the question – “How’s your health?” – saying, “It’s Great!”… that’s not the truth either. Telling someone your health is ‘Great’, when it’s actually not, is a lie. You are deceiving not only others, but also yourself. So, this morning, I, instantly, replied to the woman, when asked gently – “How is your health?”, “It’s good, no complaints.” The woman, who asked me the question, seemed impressed by my rejoinder - “No complaints”, and said, “I like that phrase...

  “To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.” Confucius   I don’t think, that, there exists a single soul on this planet who hasn’t been hurt by someone, or he/she hasn’t hurt someone. “To err is human.” This statement hasn’t been tossed around as just one more proverb. We are humans; hence, we err… We hurt others, including our own. And, others, including our own, do hurt us. That fact said, and that truth accepted, now what? Should we hold on to those hurts? Keep remembering, reminding, digging, re-digging those painful memories? Let’s pause for a moment and recall: Has digging, re-digging, remembering, reminding – accusing, blaming, screaming, swearing, threatening, emotional-blackmailing… yes, has any of these, which seems so familiar a thing for each of us, really helped one bit? Or, have all of these only added more mess and turmoil into our already turmoiled lives? F unny it sounds! We want peace and happiness; we want to walk light and f...

“Getting stuck in the past is like guarding a cemetery.” Hugo Pratt   I n one of his inspiring books, Dr. Wayne Dyer narrates a moving story from his life. By this time, the famed author, counselor and motivational guru, was a young doctorate in psychology and had touched lives of millions of people through his books, talks and insights into human mind. But, something inside his own mind was weighing upon him like a heavy rock. Rather, it was holding him back in chains, like a prisoner of his own mind. It was his anger, hate and inability to forgive his own father, who had deserted Dr. Dyer’s mother and three little children (Dr. Dyer being the youngest of the three) years ago. This episode had, obviously, brought upon the family a great deal of pain and suffering. As a little kid, left to live in an orphanage, the experience had left a lasting   negative-impression on him. Years rolled by… Dr. Dyer became a doctorate in psychology… Started healing people… Wrote seve...

I n response to my last post on ‘Women’s Day’, Pooja, one of my dear friends, shared her story with me. “Sir, I strongly felt that I must share it with you,” she wrote, “If you think it is worth sharing with your readers, please feel free to do so.” Yes, I immediately felt that the story deserved to be shared. Just this Sunday, I had been to my friend Sundar’s place. “I want you to approach fear and confidence from a different perspective,” Sundar said in the course of our discussion. Being spiritually anchored, he described to me a simple ‘Sadhana’ – a spiritual exercise… which involved sitting quietly and remembering and showing deep, sincere reverence to our parents mentally before we evoke the name the deity we worshiped. Sundar had told me, in several occasions, the importance of making peace with our parents… and, how central that peace was for the flow of abundance in our lives… including that of wealth, health, and love through all other relationships… He had...

Pic.: Pradeep Nanda I  came across these lines from Sue Monk Kidd, this morning: “I learned a long time ago that some people would rather die than forgive. It is a strange truth; but forgiveness is a painful and difficult process. It is not something that happens overnight… It’s an evolution of the heart.” Like the majority around me, I, too, have in my life some people whose very thought makes me angry. When I think of them, my body becomes tense, breathing becomes heavy… and I know it is not a good state to be in… I know I have to make peace, forgive… But, then, forgiveness is not that easy…  Often, experience of forgiveness seems more painful than the experience of going through the wounds and hurts itself… Yet, that’s the only way to find peace in my soul… There is no other way. There is good news, there is hope: To forgive someone is my choice. I do not have to wait for the other person’s – my tormentor’s – consent. ...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty “As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you.”   ―   Elizabeth Gilbert T his morning, during our PD session, I encouraged our young-ones to share about any deep resentment they held in their minds, about anyone in their lives. A good-looking young-boy, who wanted to pursue acting, spoke about his deep resentment for one of his dad’s acts. He was angry with his dad for sending him to a Marathi-medium school. “When the whole world sent their children to English-medium schools, my dad sent me to a Marathi medium school... And, because of this, today, I cannot speak English.” Many shared their own stories of resentment... The interesting point to note about resentment  is, that, we – including me – yes, we all have our respective areas of resentments in our lives... and, we have been holding them in our minds for years on... right from our childho...

Someone had referred this young man to me. So, he came a month ago to seek my help in the three accounts subjects of T.Y. B’Com. He had failed in all three of them in the latest exams. Now, he was here with me seeking my help.  I took him in.  As I started teaching him over the days, I realized that he deeply disliked the subjects which he was learning from me. He wasn’t showing any enthusiasm, skipped the homework regularly with one excuse or another… and, when I became strict, he would skip the class the following day. Talking to his parents turned a futile exercise… as the young man seemed to detest their attempts to change him even further. So, it was high time I taught him something else before he learnt from me ‘accounts’! I changed gears, immediately. I started talking to him on a heart-to-heart level. Earlier, when I had made several attempt to drill in his head the ‘reminder’ that he had ‘failed’ and ‘...