GETTING STUCK IN THE PAST
“Getting
stuck in the past is like guarding a cemetery.”
Hugo
Pratt
In
one of his inspiring books, Dr. Wayne Dyer narrates a moving story from his
life. By this time, the famed author, counselor and motivational guru, was a young
doctorate in psychology and had touched lives of millions of people through his
books, talks and insights into human mind.
But, something
inside his own mind was weighing upon him like a heavy rock. Rather, it was holding him back in chains, like a
prisoner of his own mind. It was his anger, hate and inability to forgive his
own father, who had deserted Dr. Dyer’s mother and three little children (Dr.
Dyer being the youngest of the three) years ago. This episode had, obviously,
brought upon the family a great deal of pain and suffering. As a little kid,
left to live in an orphanage, the experience had left a lasting negative-impression on him.
Years rolled by…
Dr. Dyer became a doctorate in psychology… Started healing people… Wrote several
books and went around giving motivational talks. But, despite this fame and success,
his own mind continued to remain in chains… He had harboured hatred, anger and
resentment towards his own dad and turned to alcoholism. It was making him feel unauthentic, heavy, and
horrible.
So, in the book,
Dr. Dyer narrates one life-transforming moment… On learning from one of his cousins
about the death of his father some ten years ago, buried somewhere in a distant
state, Dr. Dyer, now 34, goes looking for his father, whom he was holding in his
mind as the destroyer of his family. The mission takes Dr. Dyer through many,
many days, and many, many cities. Finally, he meets his father in an unlikely
place - the cemetery. He, now, finds himself standing and staring at his father’s
grave!
Dr. Dyer tells
us how life-transforming this moment was for him… The heavy load of years of hate, anger and resentment towards
his father, who he had never seen, now, simply falls off his mind… He stands
there for hours, cries, goes through all the emotions he could go through, and, finally, forgives his father completely… He leaves the graveyard as a free man,
now!
The
night before last, I was talking to a young man, much younger that Dr. Dyer at
the graveyard. I could sense this young man’s heaviness – resentment, anger,
pain and sorrow – towards one of his relatives, who, he and his mother thought,
were unfair. The young man was educated and
holding a good position in life. I tried to explain to him as to how important
it was for all of them to let go and move ahead in life. “Peace is our choice,”
I tried to explain to him, “Just as conflict is.”
But, it was not
easy for this young man to be a Wayne Dyer. Maybe, his time hadn’t come, yet.
“If you feel stuck, move. You’re not a tree,” reminds Germany Kent, while Louis L’Amour reminds, “A ship does not sail with yesterday’s wind."
Past is dead and
buried… It should be.
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic’s.: 1. pixabay 2. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Video: Dare to Do Motivation
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