Gerald D'Cunha

“ One minute of patience, ten years of peace.” Greek Proverb L ast night, a group of my ex-students – who graduated about thirty years ago - arranged a video conference… Yes, just as is the trend during these ‘locked-at-home’ days. I don’t think we have had such get-in-touch moments ever in the past! Well, most of us have been fortunate: We have a steady roof over our heads, enough food and drinks stocked in our houses, sufficient money to sail through this period, and, above all, healthy people at home to shoulder this sudden load. Last night, each one of us  shared our quarantine experiences… Who is entrusted with what household chores…   We were all men, and, most of us, including myself, had a similar chore to take up: cleaning our bathrooms and vessels… Only two chores? Not at all. These were the two major chores. What was that one major ‘personal challenge’ that each one  has been facing? It differed fo...

I t was a busy narrow-street. On both sides of the street, there was hardly any space left for people to walk. Everyone was maneuvering his way through the chaos, and so was I. Just then, a friend of mine, who happened to pass by on his motor bike, sighted me… He spontaneously parked his bike on the side and crossed over to my side to talk to me. Even before I could remind him to park the bike little away, where there was some open space, the motorist behind him yelled, “Akkal nahin hai kya?” I instinctively knew it would provoke my friend… Yes, it did. “Tameez se baat karo,” my friend pointed his index finger. “Gaadi hatao ,” the motorist screamed… “Nahin hataunga,” my friend challenged. By then, the motorists from all sides were honking incessantly… I pressed my friend’s hand and gently whispered, “Let’s take your bike a little ahead and talk… It’s better for all of us.” Luckily, my friend did not show any resistance… He crossed ove...

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.”  ―  Brené Brown W hat comes from our care and concern and what comes from our insensitivity and hatred? What comes from our faith and buoyant spirit and what comes from our fear and insecurities? What comes from our patience, tolerance and forgiving spirit and what comes from our impatience, intolerance and mercilessness? Well, others may not come to know as to where they come from (in us)… But, we do. Agreed: We come to know only in our ‘awareness’… when our hearts are not clouded with prejudice. One of the most reassuring truths about Life is, that the world we live in and people we live with are all ‘imperfect’. The world includes ‘me’. Hence, the truth starts from me: I am imperfect. Still, I tend to forget this reality and expect people around me to behave the way I expect them to. Do I behave, always, ...

“People stay married because they want to, not because the doors are locked.” - Paul Newman D ecember is the month of marriages. Today is 4 th December… and I already had three marriages to attend back-to-back. There are many more lined-up. Because December has always been a favourite month of marriages, we also get to hear about many marriage anniversaries in this month. Today, one of my dear friends completed ten years of marriage. He had written a very touching tribute to his wife on FB and had ended his post with these lines: “The world has changed in so many ways since our wedding and yet, people are still choosing to get married. And I believe one reason is because they have seen people like two of us demonstrate how well it can work. Happy anniversary...Love.” My wife and I have completed twenty-six years and, I could instantly feel the depth of my friend’s words… I left my comment: “That last line carries the bitter truth for toda...

Pic.: Natrajan Ramsubramani A s I write this Post, I can hear continuous devotional songs. Just outside our window, there is a temple dedicated to Datta Guruji. They were cleaning and decorating it for a week almost. Sharp at 12 in the night, we heard crackers cheering the Guru’s jaynthi… the soft devotional songs began to be played right before the dawn… They are so soft and pleasant! In the night yesterday, I, also, saw a procession on the occasion of Eid-e-Milad… Prophet Mohammad’s birthday… And, here, inside our housing complex, we have lit up the whole complex with bright stars, lanterns, Christmas tree and the crib. Tomorrow, the children and the ladies will be celebrating Christmas… Out of the total 140 flats in our complex, hardly five of us are Christians, another five are Muslims, four are Sikhs… and the rest – 126 of us – are Hindus! Milind, one of our residents, shared on our society’s Whatsapp group, last night: “Amar, Akbar and Anthony is b...

Pic.: Alwyn Mathias I am surrounded by people of every religious faith: Hindus, Muslims, Jains, Buddhists and Sikhs. I have friends who are Jews and Parsees, too. Come on, never, ever has any one of them  made me feel that I am different from them – yes, just because I pray to different deities and saints, read different Scriptures, follow different social and religious customs, or eat different food… fish, chicken, mutton, beef or pork… snail or  snake, dog or cat… spinach or grass or brain! Likewise, I haven’t ever allowed that thought to creep into my own mind – what my Hindu or Muslim friend or neighbor, my student or associate eats or who he worships. Come on, is it not something so beautiful about co-existence… that, my Hindu friend calls his God Krishna, and I call mine Christ or my Muslim friend calls his Allah? Why should I worry about what Holy Book he reads? What food he eats? What he wears on their weddings ceremonies? Some of the most be...

Pic.: Nirmala Sundar E arly this morning, I called up my younger brother, Vivek, and expressed my concern. Rather, I cautioned him! Vivek is a very affectionate, generous and soft-spoken soul and surrounded by loads of friends, mostly non-Christians. He is married to Gauri, a Maharashtrian Hindu, and they had both Church and Temple marriage ceremonies. Ditto was the case of Melvin, my wife’s brother, and his wife Amrita, a Maharashrtian Hindu. They celebrate at home both Hindu and Christian festivals… and the beauty is: for them, their parents and children, the religion doesn't matter at all… It has never been an issue for so many years! Honestly, I find my two sisters-in-law, both Gauri (Vivek’s wife) and Amrita (Melivn’s wife) to be the most wonderful, the most loving women in this world. All our relatives love them… and, Vivek and Melvin, both, have been accepted and loved immensely by all relatives of Gauri and Amrita… Their respective chi...

Pic.: Internet T o me, one of the greatest joys – rather, blessings - in life is the privilege of being able to live in this great city surrounded by people from different faiths, regions, languages, customs and cultures… Frankly, only a city like Mumbai can provide one with such a privilege. Those who live abroad, in great cities like New York, London, Sydney or Dubai, the experience is even more intense… the cross-culture and ethnic mix are of a different kind and proportion! Here, we learn to mix… Here, we learn to accommodate… Here, we learn to pick the best from each other, and overlook the rest… Here, we recognize, accept, value, respect, honor and celebrate our differences… Here, we learn tolerance… Here, we learn to grow through our completely-opposite preferences and beliefs… Here, we learn to recognize our innate prejudices and conditionings… Here, we even learn to love each other’s Gods… and, yes, Holy Books… To me...

  Pic.: Mehul Bhuva “True happiness and success in life will come to you If you learn to live harmoniously with others. Love, Trust, Compassion, Forgiveness, Tolerance – These are pillars of peace.” T here is an old saying, “If you are comfortable with yourself, you are comfortable with the world .” This means, if you are in peace with yourself, you are in peace with the world… The harmony within alone can ensure harmony without. So, what is your success for, if your heart is in constant turmoil? How can you relish, truly, the fruits of your success, if you are unable to feel the quiet happiness within your own heart? So, the more you strive to bring forth the harmony within, the more you will be able to strike it with others… You will learn to live in harmony with others. In fact, your inner harmony will automatically reflect in your outer harmony. If you really love, trust and accept ...