Friday, March 6, 2009


Some things in life come to us naturally. One of them is blinking; blaming is another.

Today, just before leaving home, I had an intense argument with my wife. We were blaming each other, never letting the other person walk away with the great ‘blame’ trophy.

Any way, I had to walk out of the house, as I was getting late for work. By the time I reached here, the intensity had substantially come down... It had, almost, transcended into something sublime, something spiritual.

I thought, I should blink, I should laugh … and, I did.

When we were growing up, one of our favourite games was: 'Who will blink first?'. I had never won in this game. Never. Within seconds, I would blush, giggle and surrender. Henry, a neighborhood kid, was always a champion. I do not know, where he is today … Whether he is still a champion when it comes to a 'game' with his wife!

I am just curious.

Blaming is a psychological defense mechanism, which we build to protect ourselves from the ‘perceived’ attacks on our self-respect. No matter who we are – a parent or a child, a teacher or a student, a clergy or a devotee, or a police or a thief – we all have our own ‘perceived’ self-respect. The moment someone attacks us, we are ready with our counter attack, in order to defend our ‘honour’.

A husband and a wife are no exception!

They say, blinking is healthy. It is the sign that we are ‘okay’, normal …That, we are capable of laughing, crying, scaring, staring and, even, loving and deceiving. It is a protective shield. We are born with it.

And blaming?

How can that be different?

When some one throws before me something, even before my hands come out, my eyes blink. When some one throws before me the gauntlet, my mind has to jump – instinctively – to pick it up!

That is Nature’s law. I think, we should simply obey it!

When small, we did play the ‘Blinking Game’ and so thoroughly enjoyed it. It helped us to bond so very well. Today, when we have ‘grown up’, why shouldn’t we play this ‘adult’ game – ‘Blame Game’? Why shouldn’t we enjoy it thoroughly?

Yes, like in my case, now. See, how it has helped me to bond so very well!

Therefore, shall I declare: Blaming is the gate pass to spirituality?

Let me wait, till I reach home, tonight!



Girish said...

I agree to what you say, but "blaming a gateway to spirtuality" is applicable in all the fronts of life? I mean to say relationship, freinship, Proffession........

Sir, i may be wrong in saying but i strongly feel that we should discipline the person who blames for the wrong issues and then to leave the topic there only and move ahead.

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Hey Girish,

Now, you should not blame me for writing this blog article ... You know my wife is responslible for it!

So, for a change, I will ask her to reply to your reservation about blaming!

Is it fine?

Thanks, it is to just things be ... Let go a bit!


GERRY, the 'Blame Champ'!

Girish said...

You are a CHAMP but not a "Blame Champ".