'I SEE NO ENEMY"

"Hatred is its own punishment."

When I heard this statement first, many years ago - to be precise, when the Punjab terrorism was in the thick of things - I was not able to comprehend its meaning fully.

"How can hatred be its own punishment?" I still remember, asking.

The terrorists have struck, once again, in Pakistan. Yes, the victims are the innocent Sri Lankan players. And, the victor?

Why do I hate some people?

Because, some of them have hurt me, done injustice to me ... and, I do not approve that. Some of them are persistently doing that to me, and I am angry; I want to get back at them, take revenge... and this thought consumes me all the time ... makes me stressful, burdened... I am imprisoned, all the time, by my own mind, my own thinking. Before my hatred can get back at my enemy, my tormentor, before I can punish him, I am punished by my own thoughts of hatred. I am consumed by it. Tormented.

And, very often, there seems to be no genuine reason to hate any one. I hate him, because, my mind has been 'poisoned' by some cunning, manipulative men. I react, therefore, to a 'perceived' threat, to a 'perceived' enemy. And, then, let myself sucked into the hell-fire of self-destruction.

Every terrorist is a creation of this poisonous seed. And, in every man's soul, there dwells a terrorist!

Some years ago, I had a heated argument with a cousin of mine. Though I did not bear in my heart any grudge or ill will towards my cousin, we did not communicate with each other for all these years. I did not make a conscious effort to speak and sort things out, nor did she. The matter remained unresolved. Yesterday, I received the sad news of my aunt's - cousin's mother's - death. My aunt had been suffering for a long time in our hometown, and I was not in touch with them, I had not called them, enquired about her. So, yesterday, when I received the news of my aunt's demise, I, instantly, picked the phone and called my cousin to offer my condolences. Understandably, my cousin was sad and depressed. She thanked me for calling, and chose to keep the conversation very short.

I wasn't comfortable the way the conversation went. My mind did go back to the playback mode. We hadn't discussed the issue and we still had our misunderstanding simmering deep down ... at least, I had. So, my reaction, yesterday, stemmed from this position. After my phone discussion, I wasn't feeling right. I knew, I had to be more honest about my intention, my feelings, and my peace. Otherwise, this thought would consume me, keep me imprisoned.

Hatred is its own punishment. I am able to comprehend, now.

'BEN-HUR' is a powerful movie about hatred, revenge and, finally, the freedom from their vicious cycle. Judah Ben-Hur (Charlton Heston) is a wealthy Jewish merchant. Tribune Messala (Stephen Boyd), the Roman General, is Judah’s close friend. Messala has been entrusted by Caesar the task of quelling the Jewish up rise against the Roman Leadership and he seeks the help from his good friend Judah in this regard. Messala is very hopeful. However, when Judah vehemently refuses to betray his own people, the story of their friendship assumes its most crucial turn. The friends turn foes ...Soon, on a silly pretext, Messala gets Judah, his mother and sister arrested and throws them into the prison. Judah, after a while escapes, and spends rest of his life with thoughts of rage, hatred and revenge. He is informed that his mother and sister have been killed by Messala and he seethes with revengeful thoughts. It is during this period, he meets a wealthy Arab, who prepares Judah for the upcoming Chariot race against the formidable Messala. For Judah, it is the only opportunity to take his revenge and feel liberated.

The day comes. When Messala sees Judah in the arena, he is rudely surprised. The race begins, and Messala, through his villainous means, goes on to destroy one racer after another ... till, finally, he is left with the strong man Judah. The ruthless Messala goes all out to demolish his friend-turned-foe through his nefarious tactic. But, Judah turns the table on him, when the monster Messala is thrown out of the chariot and dragged along brutally through the stadium. Thousands of Judah’s supporters shout rapturously, as Governor Pontius Pilate watches the plight of the devastated Roman hero, helplessly. The race ends; Messala, disfigured and almost dead, is carried away; Judah Ben-Hur is crowned.

The very next scene can take our breath away! So powerful it is: a battery of doctors attends to the mutilated Messala, and there - they bring Judah, all tied in chains. The immediate, and instinctive, response of Messala is to get up, and get back at his enemy. But, his body - all torn apart - betrays him. Only his mind - consumed with hatred and revenge - thirsts for revenge; it wants to prove. The doctors and attendants try to calm him down, tie him to his bed.

"I see no enemy." These are Judah's words, as the final breath goes out of Messala. Before the end came, the remorseless Roman has, sadistically, revealed to Judah the wicked fact that his mother and sister are not dead ... but, are 'living dead' in the cursed lepers' valley. For Judah, this is a cruel blow; it is unbearable. But, by now, he is a changed man. He has been touched by Christ. He has been healed.

"The game goes to Judah," these are Messala's final words. He has realised: he has not been destroyed by Judah Ben-Hur. But, by his own hatred. When Judah says, "I see no enemy," - it is clear to Messala, that Judah has not only defeated him in a Chariot race, but also in a race called - 'HATRED AND REVENGE'.

To win this race, we need a different strength. GRACE!

Yes, I can comprehend now, the meaning of that statement: "Hatred is its own punishment."


GERALD D'CUNHA

Comments

Dear jerry,
Must tell you that you spoke what I think of very often.In my heart as well, I see no enemy..friendship is just a hug away..as you mentioned about your cousin, the stalemate continued just becoz of one factor...'no communication'.it just kept adding over the period and kept getting burdensome. If you will speak to your cousin next and soon, it willl be lighter defenitely.Same way I feel about the persons around us.There is a common factor between all of us, we are all good.situation and motivation gives a picture of perceived bad and good.
Lets see what good is in store in near future
Gerald D'Cunha said…
Hey Ashish,

Liked your response. I have always found you to be very mature and a warm human being.

To heal the wounds of the world, we should self-heal ourselves, first. I see in you that quality, that spark.

The rest is all the outcome - the fregrance - of this innate goodness.

I am doubly hopeful, now!

LOVE,

GERRY

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