WHEN THE WIND SANG

One of the most profound, and blinding, realisations in my life is that, the world will go on smoothly - very, very smoothly - without me.

This means: My home will run smoothly... The lives of my wife and teenager son will run smoothly. Even if I am the CEO of my Company, the Company will run smoothly without me. Similarly, even if I am the Prime Minister of my nation, my nation will take its own course, even without me.

Life is too big, too eternal for me to control. To think that I can change its course, is to be arrogant. Every thing will be fine without me... the flowers in the garden, the fruits on the trees, the animals in the forests, the children in the schools, the machines in the factories, the clouds in the sky... and even the smiles on my dear one's faces. They will all be fine; they will be taken care of... Life is all merciful. It will protect.

This morning, I, once again, felt anxious. I yelled at my son, "There are hardly any days left for your exams... Do some thing." When I sensed he was not committing, I threatened: "I will take away the laptop... I will take away your mobile."

Did it make a difference?

I had resorted to these 'ultimatums' after exhausting all other methods. I do not believe in threats. I know they come from our insecurities, our fears. I know the best methods are the ones where I make my son realise the consequences of his choices... and, help him, if I can, to make the right choices for him. And, then, trust in the process, in the Universe.

I am an important person in my son's life. But, then, his life will go on smoothly without my yelling, my nervous breakdowns. This realisation doesn't come so easily. Often, we have to hit against a wall; we have to experience nervous breakdowns.

Did my father yell at me, experience nervous breakdowns? Has my life come, this far, smoothly? Is my father around? Has 'Someone' protected me? Will my son be protected? Will his life go on - without my laptop and cellphone?

The answers are blowing in the wind. The wind sings: "It's okay my friend... It's okay. After all, it's all about your own growth. You can only 'argue' it's not so... it's son's."


GERALD D'CUNHA

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