THE LEAP OF FAITH

The other day, when somebody used the word - 'Compromise', I was quick to respond: "Let us not use the word - 'Compromise'... That is a 'cheap', rather, ineffective word. Let us use the word - 'Peace'." I went on, "Peace comes straight... with out any conditions, with no strings attached."

There was no discussion on that. There was silence... It was profound.

That evening, I found myself speaking fervently, with all my passion and strength... but, it was all a monologue, rather a soliloquy. I was telling them - the fighting parties, the parties who were unable to find a breakthrough - this. "A compromise comes with doubt, with suspicion from the mind; peace comes with complete trust, straight from the heart. Compromise means, I am ready, but I still don't trust you... I may not honour my promise, in case, you... Peace means, I am ready... and I trust you fully... I will keep my promise, and you too will, I know. I know. I know."

"How do I know? How do I know that your will keep your promise?"

"Well I know. I simply know... and, I want to tell, loudly and sincerely, this feeling of mine to you. Yes, I know, you will keep your word; you will trust me, too."

"It is okay, if I am hurt by you, in the past... many times that is... but it is okay. I can heal myself. I would be glad and feel loved if you could say that from your mouth - "I am sorry". But, even if you find it difficult to say that, at this stage, I will say that now, "I am sorry for whatever hurts I have caused."

"I feel exposed, vulnerable when I say that. But, I alone know, I feel good, light... empowered... strong... clean...even 'divine'. I feel close to God, I feel protected by him. I feel no threat, scare... that you may go back on your words, you may betray me. Because, I have done my best, I have given my all; I have not hidden any cards from you. So, what move will you take? - is not my fear. What move will I make - is only my only concern.

"Peace is my thirst, my hunger. I need it like my breath. I will die - spiritually - without peace. It is my moral weapon; it is my physical guard, too. I need no advocate, when I my self is an advocate of peace. For compromise, I need an advocate, a broker.

"Between you and me - my enemy - there is only that wall created by our minds, our egos. How can a broker break it down? I cannot break the wall for you... I can for me. So, here I am, with the pickaxe and sickle, ready to break the wall created by my own mind... And, I know that you too will do the same, soon."

It was late evening. I could see the setting sun in all its glory going about his duty, The sky turned colouful, stunning... all this so fast, so peacefully... and so far yet so near. A sunset was taking place silently in me, too. So, peacefully.

GERALD D'CUNHA