Gerald D'Cunha

Well, I may, most religiously, try not to put another person down… belittle him by proving him wrong. But, I can’t stop him from doing it to me. The need to prove another person wrong can be a chronic sickness. Mostly, it stems from our own insecurity… Yes, our low self-esteem. When the other person says something, what is my mind doing? When the other person achieves something, when he is praised or awarded for his achievements, what is my heart doing? Do I have to disagree with each and everything the other person says? Do I need to register my point every time the other person drops his hat? What do I get by scoring a point over the other man… by proving him wrong? Once, a scholar wanted to prove before everyone, that Birbal, who was Emperor Akbar’s favorite minister, was a hoax. So, he threw a challenge before Birbal.  “Birbal, you claim yourself to be a wise-man,” taunted the scholar, “can you tell me how many crows live in Agra ?” ...

Hooo… teri bhakti ka vardaan hai Jo kamaye vo dhanvaan hai Bin kinare ki kashti hai vo.. Deva tujhse jo anjaan hai… it's the boon of devotion for you, who earns (this devotion) is rich.. (while) he is a boat with no shore, who does not know you… It was a packed batch, late evening, yesterday… I still had one more batch to go. I was in my best flow and everything was going well, except these three boys… the perennial trouble makers! After almost thirty-six years of teaching college kids (including teaching while still in college), I was no stranger to the restlessness, mischief, nuisance – whatever you call it – of some students. Yes, you can not expect all students to be equally nice… the basket does contain one or two bad apples. But, as they say, those one or two are enough to spoil the entire basket! It was happening in my class, last evening. In fact, it was happening for quite some time. I have been gently, tactfully and...

A very qualified young man , who had been well-employed for many years, lost his job a year ago. I met him yesterday, and I was surprised: he hasn’t still found another! This young man is in his late thirties… Not married yet. Though lives in his parental house, he needs a job to run the house… I wondered as to how he could manage! As I was talking to him, the young man gave me at least half-a-dozen reasons as to why he was not getting a job, now: the job market was bad; the Companies were down-sizing; they were not ready to pay what he was demanding; the previous Company bosses and colleagues were conspiring against him; the prospective employers were asking him to take up assignment at a place not of his choice; he wasn’t getting the job of his taste… timings; salary; people… etc., etc. Fair enough. Still, for almost a year, a young, qualified man not getting a decent job under the Sun was not something that I was able to digest easily. Something was wrong...

When did you last hear the old saying, “Familiarity breeds contempt”? Well, I just used it in my reply to Yojana in her FB message box. When I was just a young-and-raw teacher and had joined a Junior college to teach, I was very self-conscious. No doubt, the young teachers get a massive fanfare… but, in my case, it would make me very scared. Oh that shyness cocoon! I haven’t still come out of it! You know, though we love the kick of limelight and adoration of our fans, at the end of the day, it is only the closeness with our own hearts… yes, that alone we all, seriously, take to bed!  I am very happy to have found, in my early days of teaching, such fabulous colleagues and students. The warmth, support and guidance which I received in those days – my struggling days – were very, very important… I still cherish those memories in my heart… I shall, always, look back on this, with a deep sense of gratitude.  Yojana was a twelfth-stand...

Just a while ago, Seema Iyer, a dear old-student of mine, who now lives with her wonderful family in North India, posted this comment on my yesterday’s Post: “You put to words what most of us think, feel, experience... You have talent Gerry sir... keep it flowing!” So, when my dear student wrote on my Time-line, from miles afar, that I have talent, how did I feel?   No matter how simple and humble I try to project myself to be before this world, the truth – which I can not hide from me, at least – is this: I felt like a mighty eagle! Didn’t I know my own talent? There was a time, I didn’t.  It was only when some wonderful people, like now Seema, came around me to remind me of it, that I actually began to believe in my own hidden talent…my special God-given gift, my endowment. Yes, yes, we need people like Seema around us – all along our way – to keep reminding us about our hidden strengths and talents… We...

If you yell at me, saying, “You are a donkey,” will I become one?  Similarly, if you scream in front of a thousand people, “You are ‘dumb’, an ‘idiot’,” will that make me one? Most of the times, it does.  Yes, some one angrily calls me a ‘donkey’… and, I take it to my heart. I become angry too… I become mad, sad and then conspire to get back at my tormentor… get even. My mind and heart both are consumed by this ‘donkey consciousness’… Before long, I become the donkey I did not want to be! In the same way, I become a ‘dumb’… an ‘idiot’! Well, if you call me a ‘donkey’, a ‘dumb’ or an ‘idiot’, my heart is expected to sulk. Don’t expect those degrading words to pass off my heart the way milk passes off the Mahabali’s idol on a Maha-abhishekam! It hurts... I sulk, I react. For, I am as sensitive as you are… I am not a dumb statue! Oh yes, I just said, “as you are”! This means, we both accept the fact that we ...