EVERYBODY WANTS TO GO TO HEAVEN BUT NOBODY WANTS TO DIE











Pic.: Sheela Krishnamony



Years ago, when I had decided to do something about my poor English, one of the things I did – and found it very useful – was telling a nice story in two tenses… Past and Present. Over the years, I have helped hundreds of people who were earnest to improve their English with the same method… Yes, write a nice story down in both the tenses… and tell it to someone.

It is one of my favorite stories – rather anecdotes. I quite regularly share it in my class-room to remind my young-students that everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die!



EVERYBODY WANTS TO GO TO HEAVEN BUT NOBODY WANTS TO DIE

PAST:


Once, a parish priest of a church started getting frequent complaints, that many of his parish members spent lots of time and money in the country liquor-joint. So, one night, the angry priest stormed into the bar and was shocked to see so many of his faithful there, all blown!

“You shameless sinners,” the priest blasted out, “get out of this hell… right now!”

Terrified, every one of them obeyed the command of their priest.

“Now, listen to me carefully,” the priest announced, “Those of you who want to go to heaven, line up on my side.”

Every one of them threw himself on the holy-spot… but not our Johnny!

“And you, Johnny,” father asked in surprise, “You think, you don’t want to go to heaven?”

“Of course father, I want to,” clarified Johnny, unable to hold himself firmly on the ground, “But, NOT NOW!”


PRESENT:


Once, a parish priest of a church stars getting frequent complaints, that many of his parish members spend lots of time and money in the country liquor-joint. So, one night, the angry priest storms into the bar and is shocked to see so many of his faithful there, all blown!

“You shameless sinners,” the priest blasts out, “get out of this hell… right now!”

Terrified, every one of them obeys the command of their priest.

“Now, listen to me carefully,” the priest announces, “Those of you who want to go to heaven, line up on my side.”

Every one of them throws himself on the holy-spot… but not our Johnny!

“And you, Johnny,” father asks in surprise, “You think, you don’t want to go to heaven?”

“Of course father, I want to,” clarifies Johnny, unable to hold himself firmly on the ground, “But, NOT NOW!”


GERALD D’CUNHA

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